Everybody Listen to Me,
I Have Moral Authority

Dear Friends,

GSFP and Code Pink are sponsoring a hunger strike for peace which begins July 04, called Troops Home Fast Some of us like Dick Gregory and Diane Wilson will be fasting until the troops come home from Iraq, and some, like me, will be fasting for a specified time. My fast will begin on 7/04 and end on the last day of Camp Casey: 09/02.

We are announcing the fast from Washington, DC on 07/04 and having our last supper on 07/03 in Lafayette Park.

If you can join us in DC on the 3rd and 4th, or fast in solidarity with us on that day, or any other time, please let me know.

Love and peace soon,
Cindy


Dear Cindy,

I would be happy to join you, but I will be otherwise detained.

Love, and Death to America,
Saddam

(An announcement for a fast on Michael Moore's blog... D'Ohnly in America!)

Stroke the Rich

Kathleen Parker opens her recent column with one of the greatest lead lines I've read in quite awhile.

"Not since Cujo showed up for a blind date with Lassie has so much froth and spittle saturated the airwaves. This time, it's Big Government and Big Media circling the hydrant."

This, of course, is referencing the voices, both pro and con, reacting "to the recent New York Times revelation that the U.S. government has been monitoring international financial transactions in attempting to track terrorists."

There is one aspect of this debate that puzzles me. It is that the Left defends the revelation, effectively killing the program, while the Right cries, 'Treason.' In a way it would seem more consistent for the Left to applaud the program and the Right to desire it ceased. In accordance with its usual rhetoric, the Left would want the government closely monitoring the activities of the rich, while the Right would want its rich patrons' methods of illicit financial gains hidden from all scrutiny.

I seriously doubt that my finacial transactions with Wal-Mart and Goodwill were closely monitored by Dubya's cadre of storm troopers. (Although many may consider Wal-Mart an anti-American, subversive organization.)

Go figure.

The upside of abandonment

Some actual sense being spewed over at FightingBob.com:

The Republican-controlled House Appropriations Committee has voted to cut public broadcasting's federal appropriation by 25 percent during its next annual funding cycle. What's more, they want to end this subsidy entirely the following year.

Let's hope this effort succeeds.

That's right! A liberal wants us to cut funding to public TV and radio!

Not out of any sense of fiscal restraint, of course. No: he's tired of the Eeeeevil Republicans holding sway over the program.

If so, it will spell the end to more than three decades of public TV and radio's groveling every time the GOP has attempted to silence PBS and NPR with threats of financial penalties for daring to carry anything that questions its reactionary agenda.

(Snipped: extremely long history of public broadcasting)

As long as the Corporation for Public Broadcasting receives government funding, it will be open to political criticism and influence. Thus, if public broadcasting is to retain any independence nationally or locally, it will have to give up the federal contribution of 15 percent (or $460 million) of the total $2.3 billion in revenues it received last year.

But that amount can be raised from other sources.

...

A temporarily tight budget for the next few years is a small price for public broadcasting to pay to finally become a truly independent media force.

I often wonder why more people don't understand this: if you rely on tax dollars, you also rely on a government that is often plagued by inefficiency and/or incompetence, not to mention the fickle swayings of partisan politics and politicians. Better to rely on oneself.

15 Minutes of Infame

"Burning the flag is a stupid and ugly act, but there is something lovely and enlightened about a regime that tolerates it in the name of freedom. And of course it has the added benefit of making it easier to spot the idiots."
-James Taranto.

I expect that most cities have ordinances against open burning. Arrest and fine ought to do it. The offender would be in Arlo Guthrie's genre (with appropriate adaptations):

"...and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up garbage for community service." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" And I said, "Open burning inside city limits." And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench."

You can become anything you wannabe if you put your mind to it.

Happ'nin's 'Round Chere

Morgan Goofin' Off

A Nurse in Training

I'm Being Naughty... Ain't Ya Gonna Git Me?

Matt & Clista

On a Mexican Beach

Near Their HotelThey made it back across the border... Dang it... Build that wall!


One of Jerry & Cheryl's Ruby-Throats Grabbing a Late Snack

'W'ock & 'W'oll

Get down and boogie!

Man Law

Atlanta- Scientists from the Centers for Disease Control suggested that men should curb their beer consumption. The results of a recent analysis revealed the increased systemic production of estrogen derivatives during the consumption of beer. The concern was that consuming large amounts of beer would alter masculine characteristics.

To test the theory, 100 men were given 6 pints of beer each. Clinical measurements provided data showing that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, were compelled to spend money, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

(Adapted from a CDC report stolen from Aaron Hernandez.)

(Any complaints, offenses, or lawsuits should be directed to Mr. Hernandez. I am just an innocent messenger, reporting news from the outside world without couching my editorial opinions within the text.)

Separation of Church and State

I am not a trained philosopher, but I do play one down at the corner bar. I also have been regularly reading several blogs by professors of philosophy so I am confident that I can make a technically sound, logical philosophical argument.

Just try to refute this:

The Constitution of the United States explicitly erects a wall of separation between the Christian Church and state.

Therefore, the government cannot tax the Christian Church, and otherwise, it is sometimes not allowed to impose its will upon it.

Christians are forbidden to express their ideas or worldview in the public arena.

I am a Christian.

I am forbidden by the Constitution to express my ideas in the public square, even when they are cleverly couched in secular language.

Therefore, the Constitution equates me with the Christian Church.

Therefore, according to the Constitution, I should not be taxed.

Therefore, I deserve and demand an accounting and repayment of all taxes ever paid... with interest and penalties, of course.

Who's Yer Guv'na, Mate?

In the race for Wisconsin's top office, I am mired in a quandary. I have been unable to decide whether to vote for Jim Doyle or Mark Green.

Words mean things. Therefore, I will not be able to make my choice until I see the specific wording on the ballot.

If the ballot asks one's choice for governor of the State of Wisconsin, I will select Mark Green. He shows tendencies that I favor for our state's highest elected official.

If the ballot asks one's choice in the State of Wisconsin's gubernatorial race, I will select Jim Doyle. He has proven tendencies that I favor for our state's top Goober. I believe that he shared valedictorian honors with John Kerry upon graduation from Jimmy Carter's Goober Academy.

The local newspaper usually exhibits copies of each precinct's ballot a few days before the election so I will be able to know who I will vote for before actually entering the voting booth. That sure takes a lot of pressure off.

(Most of my friends, relatives, readers, and acquaintances think that I am shallow thinker of the most superficial sort, but they just don't realize how deeply I think about important issues such as these.)

Recycled Chumps-
The Legacy of Walter Cronkite

Many Lefties try to equate our situation in Iraq to that which existed during our presence in Viet Nam almost 4 decades ago. However, even the present connotation of the Viet Nam war does not equate to the reality that was Viet Nam in the field of battle. One aspect that does remain constant throughout the 40 years is the promotion of a destructive political position by the MSM.

"The one great similarity between Vietnam and Iraq is that our enemies, despairing of victory on the battlefield, sought to win with a propaganda campaign.

In Vietnam, this strategy succeeded. If it fails in Iraq, it will be chiefly because of the emergence of the new media.

The turning point in Vietnam was the Tet Offensive of February, 1968. It was a crushing defeat for the Viet Cong.

"Our losses were staggering and a complete surprise," said North Vietnamese Army Col. Bui Tin in a 1995 interview. "Our forces in the South were nearly wiped out. It took until 1971 to re-establish our presence."

"The Tet Offensive proved catastrophic to our plans," said Truong Nhu Tang, minister of justice in the Viet Cong's provisional government, in a 1982 interview. "Our losses were so immense we were unable to replace them with new recruits."

The news media reported this overwhelming American victory as a catastrophic defeat.

"Donning helmet, Mr. Cronkite declared the war lost," recounted UPI's Arnaud de Borchgrave. "It was this now famous television news piece that persuaded President Lyndon Johnson...not to run for re-election."

Shaken by Tet, he planned to seek terms for a conditional surrender, the North Vietnamese commander, Gen. Vo Nguyen Giap, wrote in his memoirs. But our news media's complete misrepresentation of what had actually happened "convinced him America's resolve was weakening and complete victory was within Hanoi's grasp," Mr. de Borchgrave said."1

Facts such as these cause one to remember the wisdom of the ancients. The Latin root for our present word 'sinister' means 'on the left'.

Still grits my gall bladder.

(H.T. Cassandra.)

We Are Fam-i-ly

(H.T. Commonsense and Wonder via Grouchy Old Cripple.)

Vernon Robinson for Congress

Here's the link for Vernon Robinson's radio and TV ads. Robinson is running for Congress in North Carolina's 13th district. He definitely is not a member of the PC Party.

Logic & Intellect:
Redeployed Out of Harm's Way

An essay written by Norman Geras, The Reductions of the Left, analyzes the modern Leftist movement. Geras is a '60's bred Marxist and writes how the moonbattery that is so vocally ubiquitous today bears little or no intellectual resemblance to its days of yore.

In re: "The attacks on New York and Washington on September 11, 2001,..."

"With a section of the Western left, the response was as if everything remained just as it had always been."

"Imperialism and blowback-that was pretty much all one needed to understand what had befallen the citizens of Manhattan, the passengers on the planes, and the workers at the Pentagon, and there were accordingly people content to describe the attack as a comeuppance."

From a Paul Berman essay Geras quotes 7 reasons for Iraq war protestations:

"(1) George W. Bush; (2) the United States as being responsible for all the problems of the world; (3) support for anything construable as being anticolonial; (4) cultural relativism; (5) hostility to Israel; (6) a failure to take anti-Semitism seriously; and (7) lack of any genuine grasp of, or feeling for, the meaning of extreme forms of evil and oppression."

"I suggest that two of them do carry more weight: namely, numbers (2) and (7)."

"The question is all the more perplexing to me because of the particular generation of the left to which I belong. I mean the generation formed intellectually and politically during the 1960s, post- and anti-Stalinist in its conception of itself, and which labored strenuously-I mean this literally: it labored in its literary output, in dense and prolific works of argumentation, theory, historiography, social and political analysis-to separate itself from the earlier simplifications and reductions of the tradition it came from and that it sought to enrich. This was a generation for whom anti-reductionism was a constant watchword."

"...so that henceforth we might be in a position more effectively to grasp the multiple determinations of both the present and the past."

"For even if more advanced models of theoretical explanation are now available to the left, it nonetheless seems to suffice in any given international conflict to know that on one side is the United States, and that the United States is a capitalist power that always has designs on the natural and human resources of the rest of the world. If you know this, everything else falls instantly into place; all other levels of analysis, all other considerations, are superfluous. They can either be ignored altogether, or they can be conceded in passing, but as merely secondary and hence ignorable in practice. The political alignments are always defined by the primary determinant-imperialism. But how does this differ from imperialism's being the only thing, with every other social, political, or ideological reality merely epiphenomenal, taking its place and meaning within the whole from the one true cause?"

"The United States is responsible not only for what it demonstrably does or has done; it is responsible also for all the reactionary forces, whether regimes or movements, opposed to it. It created them; it armed them; it used to support them (even if it no longer does)."

"If American soldiers kill civilians or commit atrocities, the United States is to blame. If those against whom the United States is fighting perpetrate similar wrongs, the United States is to blame."

"The effect of the tendency, however, is to denature what one is looking at when one looks at the horrors of the world: a massacre of innocents; a woman being beaten in a public place or hanged in a football stadium; a place in which a man can have his ears surgically removed or his tongue cut out, or be broken and destroyed, to be followed by the next such victim, and the next, in a continuous sequence of atrocity; or a place in which a parent can be forced to watch her child tortured and murdered in front of her; or a place in which a husband can be forced to watch his wife repeatedly raped; an "ethnic cleansing" or a genocide in progress, in which entire communities are pulled up by the roots and people are shot or hacked or starved to death by the thousands or the tens of thousands; mass graves opened to yield up their terrible story."

"...the one true and original cause of everything: the capitalist system."

"The U.S. state is simply world capitalism; it is the embodiment of an "all too often chauvinist" identity. By inference and by contrast, Osama bin Laden, al-Qaeda, and the like-"reactionary fundamentalist" identities-are for their part a response to the pain induced by oppression and exploitation."

"I would suggest also, however, that within the international "peace" movement, as it flatters itself to be, there is an even wider constituency, not only not Marxist but not recognizably socialist either-liberals, radicals, greens, anarchists, and other progressives of one kind and another-which exhibits variants of the same double tendency I have diagnosed: on the one hand, the practical reductionism by which the wrongs of the world are lightly referred back to their alleged causes, whether in U.S. foreign policy, or economic hardship, or grievance, or whatever; on the other hand, a disinclination or refusal to acknowledge in their full magnitude and moral significance the political evils for which other states, organizations, and movements are responsible."(Emphasis mine)

Reads like a pretty good critique to me.


(H.T. Keith Burgess-Jackson.)

Fiction or Nonfiction?

Evidence from both my hidden basement laboratory and from VA computer files that I bought off of a fence on a Janesville street corner have verified as fact a theory that I have harbored for quite awhile. DNA comparison and acquired medical records have confirmed that John Kerry and Jack Murtha are identical twins. The difference in appearance is due to an environmental factor: Kerry's copious consumption of Botox and escargot.



Further analysis of both gentlemen's DNA revealed the solution to another mystery. In unraveling their helical strands... Eureka! We've discovered it... John Kerry's infamous "Plan"!

In mapping the nucleotide sequences and qualifying their meaning, we have been able to decodify the mysterious Kerry/Murtha plan. 'Cutting and running' from Iraq appears to be only a small portion of their salvific ideas.

Jack Murtha and John Kerry also are closely related to Stephen Hawking. Hawking claims that "The survival of the human race depends on its ability to find new homes elsewhere in the universe because there's an increasing risk that a disaster will destroy Earth."

Incorporating Stephen's intellect into the Kerry/Murtha plan, it becomes such as this: "We will redeploy our troops to Mars." There they will be out of harm's way from Iraqi insurgents. If needed, our troops can be recalled to Iraq within a light year or two. While on Mars, they will be able to begin building a community for the salvation of Humankind as Bush and company invite and enable destructive forces on Earth. With enough troops on Mars, it will prove an easy matter to subdue the beings already living there. Kofi Annan will accompany them to provide dialogue and impose sanctions, if needed.

Our studies have shown that this particular genetic makeup is a mutation and I dearly hope that it will not be allowed to prosper in the Human gene pool. (I know top scientists such as myself are not supposed to superimpose our political views over scientific data, but... That's the way the cookie crumbles!)

More Inconvenient Truth

A reader writes to Jonah Goldberg:

"I hear that ABC news is looking for proof of Global Warming. How about
this? The "HEAT" won the NBA finals and the "HURRICANES" won it all in
the NHL. If that does't prove it, nothing will!"

Dwyane Tyrone Wade, Jr.

Congratulations to the Miami Heat on winning the NBA Championship, beating the Dallas Mavericks in 6 games.

Congratulations to the old-timers; Shaquille O'Neal ("The Big Aristotle" 'cause of his Greek heritage), Gary Payton ("The Glove" 'cause of his continuing support for O.J.), and Alonzo Mourning ("Focal Glomerulosclerosis" 'cause of his focal glomerulosclerosis). I believe all three of these players started their pro careers under the tutelage of Dr. James Naismith while shooting at peach baskets.

Congratulations to Dwyane Wade ("Flash" 'cause of his propensity to fake defenders out of their drawers) for garnering Finals MVP honors. Wade, a former Marquette star, came out into the NBA draft after his Junior year. He was the forgotten man, drafted the same year as Lebron James and Carmello Anthony. They got the press, but Dwyane got an MVP and a championship ring. Excellent!

Set a Timetable For Redeployment

(Photo: U.S. Army)

Reuters: "Many... are frustrated by the slow pace of recovery in a city where few of the badly damaged houses have been rebuilt and many remain to gutted. Trash piles still litters streets in nearly every neighborhood."...

"...troops fanned out... on Wednesday, aiming to help stop a spasm of violence and looting..."

"...refocus on the most populated areas, where the murder rate per capita is returning..."

"Residents decried the shooting of five teens on Saturday..."

Even after an extended presence, it is apparent that we are losing. Yes, there have been elections, but our feeble attempt to restore peace, to rebuild, and to introduce democracy has failed. There is civil war erupting with our brave young soldiers in the middle of harm's way. We are presently stuck in a quagmire.

It is time to bring the troops home... or at least redeploy them in an area where they could be called to action quickly if needed. They could be withdrawn to Biloxi, Baton Rouge, or Okinawa. It is beyond time for the officials in New Orleans to take responsibility for their own situation.

Engage!

"To boldly cut and run where no man has cut and run before."



When did the French take over Starfleet?
I never did trust that Picard dude.

Father's Day

One of the many recent public flaps that has turned into meaningless assertions followed by incumbent rejoinders is the issue of patriotism.

"Are you questioning my patriotism?" is usually a passive/aggressive attack by one who will not or cannot defend his stance on the issue that is actually under discussion. In other words, let's change the subject.

The Greek root for patriotism is pater, meaning 'father'. So my question for Liberals on this day is, "Who's your Daddy?" (such a clever way of calling someone a bastard.)

Leave it to me to politicize Father's Day.

Happy Pater's Day, everyone.

The Era of GM

My crack staff and I have just finished another extensive research project. With 96% of precincts reporting we are prepared to declare a conclusion.

This project concerned cultural mental heath changes within our society over the past 25 years and the methods used to self-medicate the acquired difficulties. Keep in mind that we did not attempt to discern 'root causes', but only the means used to assuage the disorientation.

During the last 25 years, mental health professionals have reported an exponential increase in patients complaining of mental disturbances of various sorts; depression, obsessive/compulsive disorder, paranoia, and several types of conditions resembling post-traumatic stress. Interestingly, these patients were identified as a ratio of 17:1, liberals to conservatives.

Data gathered from the early '80's through the latter '90's showed that patients used alcohol and recreational drugs to alleviate their distress. As one millenium gave way to the next the mental derangements increased greatly. Along with the major increase in numbers of sufferers came new medication usage alongside the alcohol and street drugs. Sales for products promising penile enhancement skyrocketed and the pharmaceutical companies could not keep up with the demand for erectile dysfuction miracles. And herpes is still a hassle.

Study conclusion: We have been able to officially identify the last 25 years in our culture as 'The Era of the Girlie-Man'.

Bush Answers Critics

I Get a Kick Outta Kickin' You

Jib lead me to catch on to a parody of the new Democratic slogan.

Democrats for '06: "New Direction for America"

Sounds like:

Democrats for '06: "Nude Erection for America"

I surely hope that doesn't come up in a game of 'Charades'.

It also makes me wonder where John Kerry was getting his Botox injections.

Ten Hut! Right Face!

Excerpts from a Seth Swirsky article entitled Why I Left the Left:

"Yet, to this day, many of my liberal friends refer to the decisive and effective Giuliani as a Nazi, even as they stroll their children through neighborhoods he cleaned up."

"I now refer to the Democrats as the Grassy Knoll party."

"And I now fully understand Ronald Reagan's statement, when he described why he switched from being a liberal to a conservative: "I didn't leave the party - It left me!""

My own conversion from left to right contained many small precursors, but was iced mainly through my conversion to Christianity. My leftist reasoning was entirely contrary to Biblical doctrine, with rebellion for its own sake being the main impetus of my former life.

Arizona Oceanfront Property For Sale

"The survival of the human race depends on its ability to find new homes elsewhere in the universe because there's an increasing risk that a disaster will destroy Earth, world-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking said Tuesday." 1

Geez, Bush only has a little over two years left as president, but the Lefties are signing up in droves. Hits to the Canadian Office of Immigration are going waaay down as well.

Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood

Give a look at Vernon Robinson's TV ad for his congressional run in North Carolina's 13th district. 'The Twilight Zone'.

"Vernon's common-sense views and mainstream record provide a stark contrast to the radical views and extreme, ultra-liberal voting record that Brad Miller has compiled during his three years in Congress."

"When 13th District voters compare the candidates' voting records and positions on the issues, moderate and conservative voters conclude that Brad Miller is out of touch and a growing coalition of Democrats, Republicans, and Independents discovers that Vernon Robinson is the only candidate who shares their values and will represent them in Congress."

Perhaps Vernon Robinson should skip college and go straight into the pros.


ROBINSON FOR PRESIDENT

(H.T. Rush Limbaugh.)

Doing Lance's Job

Since Lance has apparently fallen into the Grandpa John/Todd funk, I may have to do his blogging for him. It has become so bad that I have to keep up with his Lileks, too.

From under the desk of Abu Hamza al-Muhajer, Al Qaeda’s #1 man in Iraq as of 14:41 this afternoon:

..."The Democrats wish to quit the war and return to their important issues, such as permitting men to marry, have a child with the cloning of cells, and then abort it. Such a people cannot fight; they can only beseech the United Nations to send Danes to frown from great distances."...

There's your dose of Lileks until Lance returns from Funkytown.

N...B...C

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Light Sabers

Scott Ott on Karl Rove:

"In five appearances before a grand jury Mr. Rove employed what one source called “his Jedi mind tricks.”

“But it was all for nothing,” the unnamed source said, “Since the lack of charges against him will only confirm America’s worst fears — that Karl Rove controls everything.”"

Nanny-nanny boo-boo!

Fair Warning

(H.T. Wicked Thoughts.)

Batten Down the Hatches, Matey

Hurricane season is upon us once again. This year promises to be the worst ever due to Bush-the-Earth-Destroyer's policies that have accelerated global warming exponentially.

We have been busily preparing for the season diligently. We have stockpiled food and water, batteries, a generator with biofuel, and other necessities. We have plenty of plywood to protect our windows from the incumbent missles. In case the storm surge reaches Southern Wisconsin, we have a wide variety of flotation and breathing devices. We also have stockpiled a large arsenal of weapons and ammunition to protect ourselves from any marauding bands of Conservatives that we will surely encounter in the aftermath.

The first approaching storm has already been named Alberto after AG Gonzales. (Ashcroft was also a possibility) The succeeding hurricanes will be named Bushitler, Cheney, DeLay, Enron, Guantanamo, Halliburton, Imbecile, Jewcontrolled, KKKarl, Limbaugh, Moron, Nukyoolar, Obfuscate, Poverty, Quagmire, Rove, Stooge, Torture, Unconstitutional, Vermin, W., Xenophobe, Yokel, and Zarqawibutcherer.

I think we're all prepared for the coming disaster, kids. C'mon, let's watch a video. Let's make it a double feature! Here we go! Inconvenient Truth and Fahrenhype 9/11.

Yaaay, Daddy!!! And we are all finished with our 'Impeach Bushitler Posters'!!

I'm sooo proud of you guys!

Aw, Gosh, It Weren't Nuttin

I mentioned in passing on an earlier post that Lance and I have kept the conservative movement from cratering. An article in the Washington Post dated June 5th, reiterates that claim. It also expounds upon our impact on general culture.

Since Lance and Steve have been blogging on Grandpa John's:

"Perhaps the place to begin is with an empirical assessment of where we are.

Social Indicators: We are witnessing a remarkable cultural renewal in America. Violent crime rates remain at the lowest levels in the history of the Bureau of Justice Statistics' survey (which started in 1973). We are experiencing the sharpest decline in teen crime in modern history. Property crimes are near the lowest levels in the history of the federal survey. Welfare caseloads have declined almost 60 percent since 1996. Both the abortion rate and ratio are at the lowest levels we have seen in the 30-year period these data have been tracked. African American and Hispanic fourth-graders posted the highest reading and math scores in the history of the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) test. The use of illegal drugs by teens has dropped 19 percent since 2001, while the use of hallucinogens such as LSD and ecstasy has declined by more than half.

The teen birth rate has fallen for a dozen consecutive years. The percentage of high school students who reported having had sex is significantly lower than in the early 1990s. The divorce rate has fallen steadily for over a decade. And teen smoking has dropped by almost 50 percent since the late '90s.

The Economy : The American economy is the strongest in the world and growing faster than that of any other major industrialized country. It grew at an annual rate of 5.3 percent in the first quarter -- the fastest growth in 2 1/2 years. It has added more than 5.3 million jobs since the summer of 2003, and employment is near an all-time high. The unemployment rate (4.6 percent) is well below the average for each of the past four decades. Mortgage rates remain near historical lows, homeownership remains near a record high, and sales of new and existing homes reached record levels in 2005. Real disposable personal income has risen almost 13 percent since President Bush took office; and core inflation rose just 2.3 percent over the past 12 months. The Dow Jones industrial average has risen from under 7300 in 2002 to above 11,000 for most of this year. Tax revenues are at an all-time high -- and so is total household net worth.

National Security : Perhaps no nation has ever been as dominant as the United States is today -- and we are using our military power to promote great purposes. As a reference point, it's worth recalling that the 1930s and early-'40s were regarded by many as the twilight of freedom. Democratic societies were threatened both internally (by a depression) and externally (by Nazism and fascism). There were only a dozen or so democracies on the planet.

Today we are witnessing one of the swiftest advances of freedom in history. In the past four years more than 110 million people have joined the ranks of the free -- and for the first time freedom is taking root in the Middle East. Once ruled by cruel dictatorships, the people of Afghanistan and Iraq are now governed by constitutions and are participating in national elections. The governments of the two countries once provided safe haven to terrorists; now they are engaged in a mortal struggle against them. This struggle is longer and harder than any of us would wish, but by any standard or precedent of history, Afghanistan and Iraq have made remarkable political progress.

Kuwait's parliament has granted full political rights to women. Arab intellectuals are pushing for a rapid acceleration of democratic reform. After almost 30 years, Syrian troops left Lebanon in response to the Cedar Revolution. And Libya has abandoned its program of weapons of mass destruction. The biggest nuclear-smuggling ring in history, run by Pakistan's A.Q. Khan, is being rolled up. The government of Pakistan has cast its lot with us against al-Qaeda.

Islamic terrorists have been denied sanctuaries, their networks are being broken up, their leaders are being incapacitated and they are on the run. Our homeland has not been attacked since Sept. 11, 2001. And we have set aside decades of mistrust to put relations with India, the world's most populous democracy, on a new and fruitful path."

So on behalf of Lance and me, I would like to say, "You're welcome, America. You're welcome, World."

Just a Small Misunderstanding

Recently it was announced that Abu Musab al Zarqawi was killed in Iraq by American forces, as most people already know...

George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you fight against the nation I helped conceive.

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.

As Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Zarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."

The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

(Stolen from BitsBlog.)

Sputnik Remains in Orbit

According to Forbes.com the passenger vehicle most likely to be stolen is the Cadillac Escalade. The least likely to be jacked is the Ford Taurus station wagon.

I drive a 1988 Chevy Spectrum. Linda calls it the 'Sputnik'. (It originally came with a non-turbocharged 1.5 liter engine, but I've put in an old Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine, so it is even more spunky now, especially in tall grass.)

And surprise, surprise... that reminds me of another Burri story!

Our late Uncle Fred lived in New Orleans. (Long before Katrina) He related to us the several muggings that he had experienced. (I have always assumed that he was the muggee and not the mugger, but I never thought to ask.) He told us of one holdup where the thief took a quick glance into his wallet, gave it back, and just walked away.

I figure that I am metaphorically driving Uncle Fred's wallet. I have no compunction about the Cadillac ornaments and Escalade nameplates with which I have customized it.

Jawbone of the Church Fathers

Although I have some minor disagreements with this author's view of human nature and organic inclinations, his general point is very well taken.

Youth When the Church Was Young
"The Church Fathers had a distinctive approach to youth ministry.

Now, don’t jump to conclusions. I haven’t uncovered any evidence that St. Ambrose led teens on ski trips in the nearby Alps. Nor is there anything to suggest that St. Basil sponsored junior-high dances in Pontus. (There’s not even a hint of a pizza party.) In fact, if you check all the documentary evidence from all the ancient patriarchates of the East and the West, you won’t find a single bulletin announcement for a single parish youth group.

Yet the Fathers had enormous success in youth and young-adult ministry. Many of the early martyrs were teens, as were many of the Christians who took to the desert for the solitary life. There’s ample evidence that a disproportionate number of conversions, too, came from the young and youngish age groups.

How did the Fathers do it?

They made wild promises.

They promised young people great things, like persecution, lower social status, public ridicule, severely limited employment opportunities, frequent fasting, a high risk of jail and torture, and maybe, just maybe, an early, violent death at the hands of their pagan rulers.

The Fathers looked young people in the eye and called them to live purely in the midst of a pornographic culture. They looked at some young men and women and boldly told them they had a calling to virginity. And it worked. Even the pagans noticed how well it worked."...

..."What made the Church attractive in the third century can make it just as attractive in the twenty-first. In the ancient world and in ours, young people want a challenge. They want to love with their whole being. They’re willing to do things the hard way — if people they respect look them in the eye and make the big demands. These are distinguishing marks of youth. You don’t find too many middle-aged men petitioning the Marines for a long stay at Parris Island. It’s young men who beg for that kind of rigor.

No young man or woman really wants to give his life away cheaply. Tarcisius knew better. So do the kids in our parishes."... (Emphasis mine)

(H.T. Joe Carter.)

Crossposted at Jawbone of an Ass.

Famous Last Words

It is quite interesting to find out the last words of famous people .

Addison, Joseph (1672-1719)
"See in what peace a Christian can die."

Aretino, Pietro (1492-1556)
"Now I'm oiled. Keep me from the rats."

Bankhead, Tallulah (1902-1968)
"codeine . . . bourbon"

Eisenhower, Dwight D. (1890-1969)
"I've always loved my wife, my children, and my grandchildren, and I've always loved my country. I want to go. God, take me"

Poe, Edgar Allan (1809-1849)
"Lord help my poor soul."

Tolstoy, Leo (Nikolaevich), Count (1828-1910)
"Even in the valley of the shadow of death, two and two do not make six."

Grant, Ulysses S. (1822-1885)
"Water"

al-Zarqawi, Abu Musab (1966-2006)
(Last words were mumbled so there is some dispute as to what he actually said.)

"Give my Disney World tickets to Harry Reid."
or
"Tell Harry Reid that I love him."
or
"Remember to count my six votes for Harry Reid."

Effective I.E.D. Medication Discovered

I often must stand in awe at the ingenuity of modern scientific medical advancement. Just a couple of brief days ago, the psychiatric community announced the invention of a new mental disorder, Intermittent Explosive Disorder. (I.E.D.)

"CHICAGO - To you, that angry, horn-blasting tailgater is suffering from road rage. But doctors have another name for it — intermittent explosive disorder — and a new study suggests it is far more common than they realized, affecting up to 16 million Americans.

“People think it’s bad behavior and that you just need an attitude adjustment, but what they don’t know ... is that there’s a biology and cognitive science to this,” said Dr. Emil Coccaro, chairman of psychiatry at the University of Chicago’s medical school."

Today it was announced that a cure for I.E.D. has been developed. Several I.E.D. sufferers were successfully treated and permanently cured by a one time dosage of two 500mg tablets of a new drug named FFA*.

Administering the Cure

"BAGHDAD, Iraq - Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the al-Qaida leader in Iraq who waged a bloody campaign of suicide bombings and beheadings, was killed overnight by F-16 jets dropping two 500 pound bombs, U.S. and Iraqi officials said Thursday. It was a long-sought victory in the war in Iraq.

Al-Zarqawi and seven aides, including spiritual adviser Sheik Abdul Rahman, were killed inside a building in a remote area 30 miles northeast of Baghdad, officials said."

Al-Zarqawi's I.E.D. was permanently cured by a surgical strike. Props to the operating Docs.

*Fire From Above

Nostalgic Happy Anniversary

Here are the initial four posts, one by each contributor, of Grandpa John's. To my mind, it was immediately apparent that we would indeed grow to be one of the most influential and widely read blogs in the entirety of cyberspace. As of this posting we have received a total of 37 hits over our two year lifespan.


Tuesday, June 08, 2004

This blog spot will have 4 members - John (me), the most intellegent one of the group and the only unabashed liberal; Steve, Lance and Todd. Two of whom are low life conservatives (we won't mention any names) and Todd the war monger (the jury is still out on his political persuation.)

Hopefully, we can have fun and discuss issues in a frank, rational and unemotional manner! I'm looking forward to it!

posted by Grandpa John @ 8:38 PM
___________________________________

Thursday, June 10, 2004

I was wondering if we get to call each other names. I hereby claim the title of low-life conservative by making fun of this blog's subtitle. Fairness. Everyone please note that the bleeding heart liberal wrote that, so you know what it means.

posted by Lance Burri @ 4:05 PM
___________________________________

Friday, June 11, 2004

Let's not obsess over labels, shall we?

Actually, lately I've suspected that I'm a libertarian. Not the wacko kind though. I'll ask around. As for 'war monger,' I'm not mongering any more wars at present, but I reserve the right in future.

P.S. nice skin.

posted by Todd @ 10:04 AM
__________________________________

Oh, goodie, goodie– a forum within which we may discuss issues in a civilized manner. (And no name calling either, you big dope!)

Since Jack is of the highest intellect, and the boys are both highly educated and multilingual, I do greatly appreciate that to this point not one of you has flaunted that reality. Nay, verily, I declare that each has hidden it into total latency always putting forth such self-deprecating facades. Acting!!

One unabashed liberal (you’ll be bashed plenty soon enough!), one conservative (sounds like a pretty smart guy!), Todd (a riddle in a paradox surrounded by an enigma wrapped in a sesame seed tortilla!), and I (your token Christian who no longer handles snakes, but is losing teeth and does speak in tongues!)(don’t worry, I haven’t formed it into a written version, yet.)– all add up to hours and hours of fun.

Y’all may remember the old personal slam, “If you had any more brains, you’d be a half-wit.” Now then, all four of us added up together...

And I hope ‘No girls allowed’. I’ve always been fond of the expression, “ Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, Baby– It’s a Man thing.”

posted by Steve @ 5:33 PM

******************
Lance and I have prevented the Conservative movement from total collapse. Grandpa John has inspired Teddy Kennedy, John Kerry, Howard Dean, the Huffington Post, and Daily Kos. And Todd brought Paris Hilton's talent to prominence. (He also performed his famous 'Naked Dance' in the Druid's Forest for the full 24 hours of 6/6/06.)

What? We Worry?

Althouse:

...shouldn't your goofing off time be more active and pleasurable, more dynamic and outdoorsy? And shouldn't your work be more productive, more efficient, more beneficial to all mankind? More importantly, what's on TV?

It's like she's reading my mind.

P's & Q's, and Other Abbreviations

Back in the '50's, before I started school I can remember sitting in the family room with my mom one afternoon watching the soap opera, 'The Edge of Night'. At the performance of one particular actress in an evil role, I commented, "Wow, she must really be a whore...!"

I must've said something wrong, 'cause there was yellin', swingin', spittin', and all varieties of chasin' a'goin' on. As a very young'un I was pretty nimble, but certainly no match for the fury confronting me. Even after being caught in our sweet mother's 'Grip of Certain Death', I still didn't understand why using 'hor' as an abbreviation for horrible was so bad. Even so, I feebly tried to blame my older brothers.

That seemed to help as Mom relaxed enough to recategorize her hold on me as a 'Grip of Very Likely Death'. Soon it diminished into the 'Grip of a Very Luck Little Turd' accompanied only by the 'Death Stare'.

Yes, my finger pointing and blame shifting must have struck a chord. After all, 9 year old Jerry had just been busted and nearly sent to prison for calling Marilyn Connell a 'nincompoop'.

Little did we know at the time that Jerry, always the troublemaker, was also a self-fulfilling prophet. About a decade or so afterward he joined the Navy and soon became a Petty Officer; a 'Non-Com-Poop' Deck Swabby.

At any rate, I surely learned to watch my P's & Q's as well as other abbreviations.

The Genius of Madison Avenue

I often like to stop and analyze what advertizing sales pitches are really saying. It's usually quite laughable and/or insulting.

"New and Improved!"

So what was that crap by the same name you sold us last week?

"The 2007 Bilgewater Sedan has been totally restyled and re-engineered!"

So the 2006 model was as dependable as a 1983 Yugo? At least the 2007 version is restyled to look like one. (D'ja ever notice that all the styles of the 1960's, 70's, and 80's keep coming back into fashion?)

"Pure South African Hoodia!"

These miraculous weight loss pills are some of my favorites. They say, "You fat sow, too lazy and undisciplined enough to do anything about it. Why don't you be more like this anorexic model with a boob job in the bikini here?"

Just the name, Hoodia, makes me laugh. Long ago I used to say to Mom, "Ok, Mom, I'm takin' off now". Her reply was usually something like, "You just be careful WHAT you take off!" If she would have been familiar with this commercial she might have said, "You just be careful... you never know where THAT Hoodia has been!"

At any rate, when I hear a commercial like 'Pure South African Hoodia', I stand in a defiant salute that consists of belly roll grabbing while standing at attention.

To most of these inane sales pitches I say, "You can take your pure South African vegetable and stick it right back up your Hoodia!... Or Dr. Phil's Hoodia... Or even Oprah's Hoodia!" (It has been estimated that Dr. Phil's Hoodia is 75% larger than Oprah's.)

Some may think that Madison Avenue has been named after President James Madison. I really suspect, however, that it was named after Alfred E. Newman, Jr.

Present Circumstances

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am in the midst of a 10 day, 16 hours per day work schedule. My posting will remain as erudite as ever, but may at times appear somewhat obtuse. heh!

(Since the boss is out of town, I may be able to finagle some of those days down to 14 hours.)

Say What?

Here are some excerpts from a 1997 Wisconsin Supreme Court ruling concerning one lawyer's denial to admission to Wisconsin's Bar:

"...support the Board's conclusion that Mr. Heckmann has demonstrated that he lacks the integrity and candor required of persons admitted to practice law in this state. Accordingly, we affirm the Board's decision declining to certify Mr. Heckmann's satisfaction of the character and fitness requirement for bar admission."...

"...the Board's decision was based, as it reflects on his possession of the character traits to be expected of persons admitted to the practice of law, warrant denying his admission at this time, but we permit him to reapply after two years, during which he may demonstrate that he has the necessary character and fitness for admission."

Yikes! This Heckmann dude must really be the scum of the earth.