Conservative's Titanic Heading for Iceberg

As the Conservative Juggernaut sails full steam ahead toward its desired destination, it fails to notice its rapid collision course approach toward the destructive iceberg. The ship is sunk; its all over. The conservative rise to prominence has been reduced to flotsam and dead bodies. Very few are left alive to recount the story.

Via Dr. Sanity and The American Digest we can easily write the conservative obituary and recount it for generations to come.

The sinking of The Conservative is mainly to be credited to the publication of the magnum opus of author Jeremy Zilber. Conservative doom has been sealed by 'Why Mommy is a Democrat'.




Note the portrayal of the rich white conservatives at the expensive school in the background.




While the rich white conservatives snub the homeless and poor.



Protection from the destructive, thoughtless G.O.P. pachyderm.

Please put on your life vests located in the upper storage compartments, take all the sharp objects out of your pockets, bend over, and kiss your conservatives asses goodbye.


Democrats are loving and kind. They are intelligent and wise in their political choices, just like Mommy is.

Acerbity

Here's a reprinting of Gagdad Bob's posting entitled 'Cultural Sensitivity 101'. (Geez... and I thought I was an accomplished smartaleck!)

"One thing that really bothers me about the whole cartoontifada jihad is that it's once again casting the United Sates in a bad light. As usual, our own arrogant cultural insensitivity--ignorance, really--only makes matters worse."

"While at the book store the other day, I came across the Muslim Book of Virtues, by an imam who is sort of the William Bennett of the Islamic world. If we could just take the time to try to understand their culture, I think we'd get along a whole lot better."

"I've assembled a list of "wise old Islamic sayings" from the book that I think are particularly relevant to our discussion. These are almost "cliches" in the Muslim world, but they are probably new to you:"

"Sticks and stones will break your bones if your words should ever humiliate me."

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try to blame the Jews."

"Fool me once, death to you. Fool me twice? I don't think so."

"Necessity is the mother of intervention with U.N. handouts."

"A penny saved will help finance a martyrdom operation."

"There's something rotten in Denmark. Free speech."

"Give a Palestinian a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he'll just steal your fish."

"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Period."

"One picture is worth a thousand riots."

"Ask me no questions and I will tell you lies just for the hell of it."

"The race doesn't always go the swift, but to the sneaky and duplicitous."

"Good fences make it more difficult to kill your neighbors."

"If it ain't broke, that's a good thing, because we have no idea how to fix it."

"If you can't beat 'em, at least try to kill and maim as many of their children as possible."

"If you can't say anything nice, you should run for office in the Palestinian territories."

"It's not whether you win or lose, it's how much meaningless suffering you can inflict."

"Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, the wretched refuse of your teeming deserts. We can always use a few more suicide bombers."

(H.T. Pat Santy.)

Jenny Craigogator

Two alligators were sitting at the outlet of a midwestern sewer drainage system. The smaller said to the bigger one, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger'n me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin', bro?"

"Mostly Bear fans - same as you," replied the small 'gator.

"Hmmm. Where do y'all catch 'em?"

"Down 'tother side of the old sewer drain near the parking lot by the stadium."

"Same here. Hmmm. How do you catch 'em?"

"Well, I crawls up under one of their cars and wait for one to unlock the door. Then I jumps out, grab 'em by the leg, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!"

"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment. You see, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a Bear fan, there ain't nothin' left but an asshole and an ugly sweatshirt."

On This Day in Wisconsin History:

1846 - William Horlick Born

On this date William Horlick was born in Ruardean, Gloucestershire, England. A noted food manufacturer and philanthopist, Horlick arrived in the U.S. in 1869 and settled in Racine. In 1872 he moved to Chicago with his brother and began to manufacture food products. In 1876 his company moved to Racine where he began to experiment with creating a dried milk product. In 1887 he trademarked Malted Milk. In 1889 he opened a company branch in New York City and another in England the following year. He constructed additional plants in Racine in 1902 and 1905. The company name was changed to Horlick's Malted Milk Co. in 1906. This success enabled Horlick to achieve a widespread reputation as a philanthropist in Racine. He also helped fund the first Byrd expedition to the South Pole and the Amundsen expedition to the North Pole. After his death in 1936, control of the company passed to his son, Ander James Horlick. [Source: Dictionary of Wisconsin Biography, SHSW 1960, pg. 177]

That part about funding the North and South Pole trips is pretty cool (could we send another Byrd to the South Pole, do you think?), but, jeez, my high school was named after a Limey?

Chicken that bites back

Matthew Harris didn't flinch at the crocodilian-like teeth flashing six inches in front of his face. He didn't scream or whimper, either.

Instead, he sat back, shook his head and leaned in for a better look.

That's because Harris, a researcher at the University of Wisconsin-Madison last year, wasn't looking into the mouth of a giant, dentition-ridden reptile.

He was looking into the mouth of a chicken.

Harris, who is now at a research institute in Germany, and a team of researchers from Madison and the University of Manchester in England have discovered teeth in a mutant line of chickens.

And their discovery supports the premise that ancient genetic signals can be resurrected - remaining dormant or not expressed in an organism's DNA - for millions of years, waiting for the right conditions to spark their return.

This is a phenomenon known to developmental biologists and geneticists as atavism, popularly called "throwbacks."

The discovery also sheds light on the molecular and developmental mechanisms behind tooth loss and beak growth in birds, giving paleontologists a bird's-eye view of the biological processes that took place millions of years ago, as one line of a raptor-like dinosaur crossed the taxonomic boundary from reptile to bird.

The paper appears in this week's issue of Current Biology.

"Throwbacks?" "Atavism?"

Could this explain a few things about certain members of the Burri clan?

Addressing Grievances

I have found it quite difficult to write about what I believe concerning our global war against terrorism. Of course we should attempt to militarily destroy groups such as the Taliban, Al Qaeda, and other terrorist cells akin to these, but the conflict is much larger than that. Without including every particular Muslim, I still want to indict Islam in general. Just as I would condemn Nazi Germany in the '30's and '40's without including many or most of the German people, I would do the same with present day Islam; It is our enemy.

I have understood this long before 9/11. My understanding comes mainly from the situation in Nigeria. The Nigerians have quite a long history of Muslim violence against non-Muslims. There has recently been another large outbreak there, ostensibly due to the Danish cartoon publication. Any excuse, or no excuse, will do.

I cannot claim to understand Islamic doctrine to any depth. I can, however, assess the results produced by cultures immersed in it. A religion of peace it has proven not to be. A religion of great violence marks its history and present. A devout Muslim probably would make an excellent neighbor, but Islamic regimes seldom or never do.

Brigitte Gabriel, a Lebanese Christian, speaks to her experiences with the religion of peace. Following is one paragraph in a talk that she has given entitled, 'The Plight of the Infidel':

"America cannot effectively defend itself in this war unless and until the American people understand the nature of the enemy that we face. Even after 9/11 there are those who say that we must “engage” our terrorist enemies, that we must “address their grievances”. Their grievance is our freedom of religion. Their grievance is our freedom of speech. Their grievance is our democratic process where the rule of law comes from the voices of many not that of just one prophet. It is the respect we instill in our children towards all religions. It is the equality we grant each other as human beings sharing a planet and striving to make the world a better place for all humanity. Their grievance is the kindness and respect a man shows a woman, the justice we practice as equals under the law, and the mercy we grant our enemy. Their grievance cannot be answered by an apology for who or what we are."

In short, their grievance is that you are not a Muslim. We are given three choices; convert, obediently submit, or die. We, however, will take a fourth option. We must mount a continual, modern-day Crusade against them; militarily, politically, and rhetorically; out-jihad their jihad and fatwas of violence.

Ye Olde One-Two Punch

A recent editorial in the Opinion Journal speaks of retailers filing lawsuits in self-defense against discriminatory state and local legislation. I find this quite interesting. Excerpts:

"The announcement came in the form of two federal lawsuits filed by the Retail Industry Leaders Association against the state of Maryland and Suffolk County, New York. At issue are the "Wal-Mart" laws that both jurisdictions recently passed, which would require a few large companies to pay more for their workers' health care. The lawsuits argue the statutes are "discriminatory," which may be the legal understatement of the year since both target only a few employers."...

..."The common denominator is that all of these laws largely single out non-union employers."...

..."The Suffolk County Legislature was warned in a public hearing that its mandate likely violated federal laws; it passed it anyway, 17-1."...

..."Supporters argue that since employers have a "choice" between providing the new benefits or paying the state a fine, the law is not really a health-care mandate."...

For the 'uninvolved' citizen this becomes a double whammy. These actions raise the operating costs of both the retailers and the governments involved. The citizen gets to pay both higher retail prices as well as higher taxes.

Groovy. (See, Lance, 'groovy' is still hip.)

More Irresponsible Free Speech

Never one to shy away from contoversial cutting-edge issues, I have decided to support the right of free speech by political cartoonists, even if I disagree with what they say or how they say it.




(H.T. The People's Republic of Seabrook.)

Grandbaby Braggin'

Cole is growing fast. And he is quite smart. I've taught him to slap someone's forehead and say, "D'oh!"
Grandpa has many such plans for revenge.





Cole has also learned to recognize when Lacey Mae breaks the tenth commandment, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's cookie."





Cole loves it when I tell him of the heroic exploits of Grandpa John, Todd, and Lance. He lovingly calls them, Moe, Curwy, & Warry.

Looks like I'm in good company:

Exhibit 1;

Exhibit 2.

February 12, 1809

Abraham Lincoln's birthday passes with little fanfare. I feel the need to provide a short tribute.

As one lives along, often one discovers little tidbits of information that is not part of the general knowledge pool about someone or something in history.

Lincoln, while peering into a mirror, stated, "Abe, you are indeed the ugliest man on the face of the earth. If I perchance ever meet someone more homely, I will shoot him dead on the spot as an act of mercy."

Lincoln was given the nickname, 'Honest Abe'. Now, couple that with the fact that his two adult professions were as a lawyer and a politician. Oh, how times have changed. I wonder if he ever sold used buggies and horse-drawn carriages, too.

Brokeback Mountain II

Not all Wyoming cowboys are gay.




(H.T. Pat Santy.)

SPC Eric T. Burri

I noticed this some time ago, but never did write anything on it:

Army Spc. Eric T. Burri, 21, of Wyoming, died June 7, 2005, when a primitive bomb exploded near his vehicle in Baghdad, Iraq. He was assigned to the 623rd Quartermaster Company, 1st Corps Support Command at Fort Bragg, N.C

.
No relation that I'm aware of - Burri is a Swiss name, and in Switzerland, I'm told, it's as common as Johnson is here.

Still, thought it was worth mentioning. Here's a tribute page.

And another one, this one with a picture.

Yes!

I never take these, usually, but:
What sci fi crew do you best fit in with?

And I got:

You scored as Serenity (Firefly). You like to live your own way and don't enjoy when anyone but a friend tries to tell you should do different. Now if only the Reavers would quit trying to skin you. Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

Yeah, okay, so some of the questions I fudged, hoping to get that result. Sue me.

This is bad for my groove.

'Cool' Always Has Place in Modern Lexicon - Yahoo! News:

NEW YORK - Groovy is over, hip is square, far out is long gone. Don't worry, though - it's cool.

'Cool' remains the gold standard of slang in the 21st century, as reliable as a blue-chip stock, surviving like few expressions ever in our constantly evolving language. It has kept its cool through the centuries - even as its meaning changed drastically.

How cool is that?

Way cool, say experts who interpret slang for their messages about society.

Groovy is over? When did that happen?

I'll give you two Burris and a Whig for the other half of that sandwich!

Michaels traded from ABC to NBC for a cartoon bunny

NEW YORK (AP) -- Al Michaels was traded from ABC to NBC for a cartoon bunny, four rounds of golf and Olympic highlights.

The rights to Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, a bunny created by Walt Disney in the 1920s before he invented Mickey Mouse, were transferred from NBC Universal to The Walt Disney Co. as part of the agreement to release the broadcaster from his contract with ABC and ESPN.

(click for a larger picture)

"As the forerunner to Mickey Mouse and an important part of Walt Disney's creative legacy, the fun and mischievous Oswald is back where he belongs, at the home of his creator and among the stable of beloved characters created by Walt himself," Disney president Robert Iger said after Thursday's announcement.

Michaels had been with ABC for three decades and had been the play-by-play announcer for "Monday Night Football" for the past 20 years.

"Oswald is definitely worth more than a fourth-round draft choice," Michaels said, referring to what the Kansas City Chiefs gave the New York Jets as compensation for releasing coach Herm Edwards from his contract. "I'm going to be a trivia answer someday."

Black History Month

Although not a fan of the race specific aspects of February's endeavor, I do appreciate the content of character that is highlighted in the biographies that are shown during this month.

Although Dr. Martin Luther King is the usual feature of the month, there is no way to tell how much more positive impact he would have had on our culture if he had not been brutally murdered. It is quite possible that he was already becoming passe to the civil rights movement by the more aggressive promoters of minority civil rights. His peaceful, nonviolent methods were not moving fast enough in the mindset of many up-and-coming leaders. Nonetheless, he did exhibit the content of character that is worthy of honor and emulation.

My favorite hero in this regard is George Washington Carver. His contributions did not touch the political realm, but touched so heavily on the practical world. Henry Ford conferred with him on a regular basis. Thomas Edison offered him a six figure salary. Franklin Roosevelt visited him personally at Tuskegee.

Aside from all his scientific contributions, one commenter summed his life up in the five word sentence, "But George didn't give up." That was the content of George Washington Carver's character. Priceless.

On This Day in History, February 8:

1858 - Wisconsin Congressman Starts Fight in Legislature

On this date Wisconsin Representative, John F. Potter, helped start a fight in the United States Congress. House members were engaged in a heated debate regarding the North-South issue, as well as the recent beating of Senator Sumner of Massachusetts. Potter was a Republican Abolitionist, and when the Northern Republicans found themselves in a majority on this day, they pressed their parliamentary advantage to achieve many things. The few Southerners who were present were infuriated, and Potter jumped into a fist fight, and pulled off one of his opponent's wig. At this, rumors sprang up that Potter had "taken a scalp." Potter was from this point on marked by Southerners as an enemy and two years later, he was challenged to a dual by a Virgina representative. Potter accepted the dual but insisted on using bowie knives. His challenger, Roger Pryor of Virginia, refused the challenge. Potter then received bowie knives from sympathizers all over the country. [Source: Badger Saints and Sinners by Fred L. Holmes]

Ya Ain't S'posta Laugh or Fart Durin' the Sermon

I was listening to a talk today given by a Black Baptist preacher on the radio. Reading from the Biblical account of the interaction between David and Goliath, he correlated that situation with the ominous present day problems in our culture. He related all this to God's oversight in the affairs of men and also included the story of Nebuchadnezzar's furnace and God's care for the three young Hebrews that were thrown into it for refusing to bow down to his image; Shadrach, Meshach, and A Bad Negro.

I thought I was going to die laughing and nearly wet myself. I was surely glad that I wasn't sitting in church and hearing this in the sermon. It has to be an old rendition, but I had never heard it before.

Neuroanatomy and Physiology

A while back Time Magazine printed the earth shattering revelation that men and women were different. More recently, Newsweek also came to a similar conclusion. Some have proclaimed that the homosexual brain shows marked differences from that of the heterosexual. Others have attempted to show that the adolescent and teenage brains slog through a period of development dissimilar to anything human at all.

Taken together, all of these studies show a true diversity within humanity. We call this 'Multi-encephalism' and it must be considered in all human relationships and dealings.

Serious research has also been done correlating neuroanatomy and physiology to political views. The study looked at the preserved brains of Karl Marx, Joseph Stalin, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, George Patton, Ronald Reagan. It also analysed through Magnetic Resonance Imaging the brains of John F. Kerry, George W. Bush, Jesse Jackson, Lance Burri, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Rush Limbaugh, Teddy Kennedy, Paul Ryan, Mel Gibson, Clarence Thomas, Ann Coulter, and Maureen Dowd. (Among thousands of others.) The research results can be generalized by the construction of two anatomical models that make up the poles bordering the human political continuum. This is hard science.


Liberal


Conservative


(H.T. Dissecting Leftism.)

Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

Kid #3 turned 6 yesterday. He wanted to go to Culver's for his birthday dinner, so away we went.

I had the double butter burger and chili-cheese fries. Yum. Could barely finish it all.

Yet, there was a time when I would have finished not only my dinner, but every single scrap of food that landed on that table - there are six in my family, and I don't exaggerate when I say I could have eaten it all, and still gone back for ice cream.

Those were also the days when I couldn't keep my weight above 200 pounds, no matter what I did.

Oh, how things change.

It's Not Right

You know, it's not easy being a national political figure. There are cameras on you ALL the TIME. You can never relax, never let your guard down, never just scratch that itch under your nose, because somebody will get a picture and it will look like you're doing...um...something else.

So it's really not fair when somebody takes a single frame in which you look silly, and then broadcasts it all over the Internet. Like this, for example:



Not fair. Not right. Shameful, really.