Didja Feel the Cyberquakes?

Many of you may have noticed various anomalies and glitches in your computer's recent activity. Do not worry; do not attempt to adjust your monitors. Cyberspace is only adapting to the newest edicts passed on to it from the Quadruple Entente.

Although I am not authorized to release a great deal of information at this time, I am allowed to divulge some of the motions that passed within the secret meeting of the four most intelligent bloggers ever to tap dance atop a keyboard. Jib, L bee, tee bee, and I met at a secret location in Afton on Friday to hammer out solutions to several issues confronting civilization in this day and age. The initial meeting place had to be changed due to an apparent leak causing us to be swamped with nosy reporters, autograph seekers, groupies, demonstrators, and paparazzi. After we were able to find a secluded meeting place, we were finally able to get around to 'making a difference- for the children.'

After several hours of vigorous debate, we could not come to a consensus on our first issue. Jib pulled a knife and bisected a fly in midair so all relented and agreed to order a round of Leinenkugels. After that major issue was settled, further progress flowed like urine after a six-pack and an urn of coffee.

We agreed to let the internet continue for at least one more year. The motion to tax by number of keystrokes was tabled.

We honored President Al Gore for inventing the internet web as well as providing fodder for so much humor. L bee carved a little statue of Gore out of a urinal cake and placed it with due dignity within a ceramic mictuary. We made several visits to pay homage to the evergreen scented statue. tee bee abstained, mumbling something about sexism and L bee said, "It's a Man thing, baby... Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

Jib and tee bee wondered if Lance Burri really existed. I assured them that, unless he has sassed Mari Jo recently, he most assuredly probably did.

L bee, tee bee, and Jib voted that I was the strongest argument against both intelligent design AND evolution. I abstained in that I didn't understand the question.

We watched the Brewers lose and the Cubs win the division title. We sobbingly ordered a round of Leinenkugels.

I sure enjoyed meeting these other hateful Conservatives. I have been given renewed faith that, if the Progressives falter in their vigilance to the smallest degree, we will get the upper hand and destroy the world.

I report... You deride.

Lip Syncing and Air Guitars

Ann Coulter writes on Townhall.com in 'Tase Him, Bro!':

[...]Columbia president Lee Bollinger claimed the Ahmadinejad invitation is in keeping with "Columbia's long-standing tradition of serving as a major forum for robust debate."

Except Columbia doesn't have that tradition. This is worse than saying "the dog ate my homework." It's like saying "the dog ate my homework" when you're Michael Vick and everyone knows you've killed your dog.[...]

That's what colleges mean by "free speech." (And by the way, my fingers are getting exhausted from making air quotes every time I use the expression "free speech" in relation to a college campus.)[...]

Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies
Grow Up to Be Journalists

Taken from Snapped Shot, Exposing Photojournalism One Frame at a Time, by Brian C. Ledbetter.

Flashback

On this day in Wisconsin history:

1964 - Janesville Auto Workers Strike
On this date about 4,800 members of UAW Locals 95 and 121 walked off their jobs at the Fisher Body and Chevrolet plants in Janesville, as the United Auto Workers staged a nationwide strike against GM over a number of unresolved issues including grievance procedures, production standards and work conditions. [Source: UAW Local 95]

Are they still on strike or is this a new one?

Yegawds, Man...
Ya Need to Pop That Third-Eye-Lookin' Zit

[...]a vast mountain of emaciated husks of twisted limbs and shriveled skin covered in boils and pustules...1

This Mark Steyn turn of phrase evokes many mental perturbations.

In mentioning boils, Mark was probably thinking of Lance Burri. A lance, short for lancet, is a pointed, sharp surgical tool often used to pierce boils for pus drainage. Blogger Lance is a pointed, sharp surgical writing tool used to lance liberal boils that have festered upon the buttocks of our state and federal seats. He has been quick to criticize my state senator, Judy Robs'em Clinton, and her 'Healthy Wisconsin' plan. Senator Robs'em's plan calls for robbing from the..., well, everybody, to give to the Sheriffs of Madisonham and Prince Jim. Nurse, I need more drain sponges... there's at least another gallon of pus draining here.

(In our everyday language, pus has a very negative connotation often evoking the response, "Eeeew!" However, I prefer to think of it as a protein-rich product of defensive inflammatory maneuvers consisting of heroic, self-sacrificing white blood cells, liquor puris, and other cellular flotsam and jetsam. That puts a more palatable spin on a natural, organic product, doesn't it?)

Steyn's romantic poetry also whisks me away to another time and place. I am reminded of my 6:00 AM work schedule in the school's morgue. Since there was no free time later in the morning, we generally had to eat our breakfast with one hand while dissecting cadavers with the other. Small wonder that I developed a measure of ambidexterity and that all food has a familiar scent of formaldehyde to this day.

Oops! That reminds me... I haven't eaten breakfast yet and this post has gotten my salivary glands operating at Pavlovian warp speed. Gotta go!

Hey Steve, is this the same quiz you blogged about before?

The one about history and civics that college students fail?

The study from the non-profit Intercollegiate Studies Institute shows that less than half of college seniors knew that Yorktown was the battle that ended the American Revolution or that NATO was formed to resist Soviet expansion. Overall, freshmen averaged 50.4% on a wide-ranging civic literacy test; seniors averaged 54.2%, both failing scores if translated to grades.

I got 81.67%, which is probably better than I deserved. Felt like I guessed a lot. Plus one answer I knew, but accidentally marked wrong.

Don't Bogart That Joint, My Friend

Mark Hemmingway posts several pictures of his experience at the September 15th war protest. Here's my favorite:



It would be pretty hard to argue with this Progressive. His depth of intellect and thought process are impossible to counter. My best response could only be, "I'm ambivalent and I can't make up my mind, either."

Polls

Wisconsin Badgers, 3-0, plummet to 9th in national rankings.

"Ignorant Punks!"
"Heee, hee, hee!"

Class... Class... CLASS... SHUUUT UP!

Thank You*

Pop quiz!

Civics


I scored 53/60 or 88.33%.

* Cheech and Chong's Sister Mary Elephant.

With Friends Like This...

My sociological, linguistic, and cultural researchers have been busy with their studies for several decades. They not only have followed the evolution during the times in which they have been living, but also have studied primary source documentation obtained that goes back to the very beginnings of our nation. Over the years they have mapped the many changes in customs, habits, and word usage in these United States.

One seemingly small but significant observation that they have brought to my attention. They have noted a movement in the force that has caused a change in the dominant spelling and pronunciation of bin Laden's first name. Not long ago the most numerous spelling and pronunciation of his name was Osama, but now the majority have been using Usama. It may certainly seem a very small thing, but the latent reasoning behind the change is what is most remarkable.

The behind-the-scenes push for this subtle change has come from the Progressive Democrats for this reasoning: When any meeting, whether it be sports, political, or otherwise, starts showing patriotic tendencies and some in the crowd begin chanting, "U.S.A., U.S.A." the Progressives can join right in chanting, "U.S.A.(ma), U.S.A. (ma)" appearing to be pro-American for the normal American's benefit, but, at the same time, showing the support for Usama and his cause that they have long ago become famous for.

Very clever, indeed.

Don't question our patriotism. We support the U.S.A.(ma) and the troops.

Barry Spikes His Piano

The rumor mill in my secret basement laboratory has it that Barry Manilow has taken a page out of Pete Townshend's playbook after an SRO performance at Orfordville's Outdoor Theater/Flea Market last week.


During the performance, Barry explained that he could not, in good conscience, appear on the TV show The View because of a philosophical clash with the conservative ogre, Elizabeth Hasselbeck. "I strongly disagree with her views. I think she's dangerous and offensive. I will not be on the same stage as her."1

In a fit of outrage and performance theatrics Manilow ended his performance by lifting his piano over his head and smashing it on the ground offstage hitting one roady on the head and nearly killing two others.



All three of the audience members stood up, leaned on their walkers, and applauded shouting, "Wilson lied and doughboys died!"

(Rumor also has it that there is more than one Barry that has been using steroids.)

Dr. Sanity's Carnival of the Insanities is again spotlighting the world's eccentricities.

Please visit Grandpa John's homepage as well. Many more in-depth insights to be found there, if you look hard enough and have a great imagination.

What Happens in Vegas...

Before his arrest, O.J.Simpson was interviewed by telephone by Scott Glover, an L.A. Times staff writer. In his concluding statement he quipped, "I thought what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas."1

Apparently, O.J. is correct. Right now he's what's happenin' in Vegas and it seems he will stay in Vegas.

Aside: What's up with O.J.'s not getting bail and having to wait until Wednesday for a bail hearing? If Norman Hsu can get bail...

Grandbaby Chronicles, Vol. 753

Colie Guacamole is about 3 months short of 3 years old. Recently he was visiting his other grandmother's house with several of his older cousins. He was goofing off with 13 year old Brianna when she called him a liar. Grandma stepped in, supposing to help him defend himself. She told him to call Brianna a 'meanie', but Cole instead said, "You're not a meanie, you're a low-down dirty bushwhacker!" Game, set, match.

The astounded onlookers asked Cole where he learned that. Colie confidently stated that he learned it from Grandpa Doofus. He's a quick study.

We have also been working on 'indubitably insolent', but, as of yet, we haven't been able to get by 'indubitably' without the training session flying south among a giggling gaggle of two silly geese. The boy shows promise.

Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics

Bill Steigerwald writes in Townhall.com, How The Swiss Do Health Care:

You never hear it touted by the media but Switzerland uses market forces, not government rules and red tape, to create a private, affordable, high-quality health-care system for its 7.5 million citizens. And it spends 40 percent less per capita than we do.

Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

On its face, of course, the Swiss health-care system appears to be vastly preferable to all others. There is one severe problem with this conclusion, however. These statistics do not take into account the superior hardiness of those bearing Swiss genetic stock. The Swiss just don't need much health care at any price. Swiss Army knives don't even carry warning labels. Nary a one of their sharp, pointy, and toothy widgets have protective covers or 357 pages of safety instruction. It's those foreigners (mostly French) that are driving up the costs that exist there.

Swiss ruggedness is also well documented in the annals of European history. Hitler did not invade Switzerland during WWII knowing that, as he put it, "They'd kick our Aryan patoots all the way to Dusseldorf." Benito Mussolini echoed Adolf's feelings, "We didn't want Italy to end up in the geographic shape of a ballet slipper."

"No one knows that I am really left-handed."

"I've slowed down a step since I've turned 60."

"The landlocked Lake Geneva Nautical Society boat wins the America's Cup... Again."

You know what they say about assumptions:

...they make an ass out of "u" and "mption."

UPDATE - link fixed.

A rare Lance sighting today...

...so I can bring you this, from Kathleen Parker:

...bin Laden wants to subjugate the world, while Petraeus leads men and women who want to release the world from subjugation. One fights for the submission of others; the other fights for their liberation.

You don't have to be an American exceptionalist to recognize that there is a difference. One is good, the other is not.

You don't have to be an American exceptionalist, but you do have to have at least a toe on this side of the reality line.

M.K.H. Knows Her Audience

I always enjoy reading or viewing Mary Katharine Ham's articles, pictures, and videos. In this narrated pictorial, she recounts some of her experiences during the 9/11 memorial in New York. Here is one photograph with her explanation:


A Truther videotapes a normal person telling him he's a "disgrace" for being at Ground Zero on 9/11 (bonus hot girl in foreground because I know my audience).

Chady: That girl reminds me of Mandy Rae!

Very Good Sports Weekend

Badgers win, Packers win, Brewers win and retake the division lead. Area resident Steve Stricker gives Tiger a run for his money and is presently placed in 2nd in the FedEx Cup. Cubs lose, Bears lose...

Crap... Not quite a perfect sports weekend, though; Vikings win, Lions win, but they played the Falcons and Raiders. Big whoop!



Other news from the homefront:

Matt's Sex Change Operations Going Well
I Think He Was Huffing Some of that Gasoline


I Will Bury Matt Next to Hoffa Under Our New Extended Pond
I Will Thwart CSI-Janesville Once Again


Matt's Surgeon and Therapist Are Missing
Who Knows Where They Could Have Gone?

You've Come a Long Way, Baby

September 8th:

1958 -Janesville Women Belly Up to the Bar
On this date the Janesville city council voted 4-2 to finally end a paternalistic and discriminatory ordinance that prohibited women from drinking at the bar. Since the end of Prohibition in 1933, women had been banned from being served while standing at the bar in Janesville taverns. [Source: Janesville Gazette]

I could not locate the original article, but I would bet that it did not use the 'paternalistic and discriminatory' terminology.

Ripping Off the Government of the People,
by the People, and for the People=
Ripping Off God

Stephanie Strom writes in 'Big Gifts, Tax Breaks and a Debate on Charity' in the New York Times:

[...]The rich are giving more to charity than ever, but people like Mr. (Eli) Broad are not the only ones footing the bill for such generosity. For every three dollars they give away, the federal government typically gives up a dollar or more in tax revenue, because of the charitable tax deduction and by not collecting estate taxes.[...]

Individual giving is most certainly immoral. Only the government can distribute wealth wisely and morally. Since there is no God to save us and we can't save ourselves, the government must save us.

Switzerland: Europe's Heart of Darkness?

Paul Vallely asks the question in an article by the same title in The Independent.

The darkness:

[...]the Swiss People's Party (the Schweizerische Volkspartei or SVP) which has the largest number of seats in the Swiss parliament and is a member of the country's coalition government.

With a general election due next month, it has launched a twofold campaign which has caused the UN's special rapporteur on racism to ask for an official explanation from the government. The party has launched a campaign to raise the 100,000 signatures necessary to force a referendum to reintroduce into the penal code a measure to allow judges to deport foreigners who commit serious crimes once they have served their jail sentence.

But far more dramatically, it has announced its intention to lay before parliament a law allowing the entire family of a criminal under the age of 18 to be deported as soon as sentence is passed.[...]

It is far from the party's only controversial idea. Dr Schlüer has launched a campaign for a referendum to ban the building of Muslim minarets. In 2004, the party successfully campaigned for tighter immigration laws using the image of black hands reaching into a pot filled with Swiss passports. And its leading figure, the Justice Minister, Christoph Blocher, has said he wants to soften anti-racism laws because they prevent freedom of speech.[...]

...the UN special rapporteur on racism, Doudou Diène, warned earlier this year that a "racist and xenophobic dynamic" which used to be the province of the far right is now becoming a regular part of the democratic system in Switzerland.

Dr Schlüer shrugged. "He's from Senegal where they have a lot of problems of their own which need to be solved. I don't know why he comes here instead of getting on with that."[...]

Dr Schlüer insists the SVP is not against all foreigners. "Until war broke out in the Balkans, we had some good workers who came from Yugoslavia. But after the fighting there was huge influx of people we had a lot of problems with. The abuse of social security is a key problem. It's estimated to cost £750m a year. More than 50 per cent of it is by foreigners."

There is no disguising his suspicion of Islam. He has alarmed many of Switzerland's Muslims (some 4.3 per cent of the 7.5 million population) with his campaign to ban the minaret. "We're not against mosques but the minaret is not mentioned in the Koran or other important Islamic texts. It just symbolises a place where Islamic law is established." And Islamic law, he says, is incompatible with Switzerland's legal system.

Dark Swiss chocolate...Mmmmm!

Dr. Schlüer sounds more like Wilhelm Tell; inspirer of a rebellion against unlawful foreign invaders.

Hsu Flees to Wisconsin
(Updated)

Doyle offers sanctuary... for a (another) small fee. Wisconsin doesn't prosecute illegals.

Hsu Ginseng Farms owns over 1000 acres of virgin ginseng farmland available for cultivation in the heart of ginseng country-Marathon County, Wisconsin, USA. As the first Chinese-owned ginseng farm in North America, Hsu's Ginseng produces about 100,000 lbs of high quality American Ginseng every year.
Because of its location, weather, soil, processing skills and strict quality control, Hsu's American ginseng is known for its aroma and medicinal effects. From selecting planting locations to harvesting, from grading to packaging, Hsu's advance technology and quality management enable it to extend quality products throughout the world. Furthermore, Hsu Ginseng Farms' commitment to quality has allowed it to become the largest ginseng grower in the United States. We know what makes a difference, try us.1

We also contacted Kikkoman Foods, Inc., who opened a soy brewery in Walworth, Wisconsin in 1972, about any knowledge of Hsu. A manager, who wished to remain anonymous, told me, "We're Japanese, not Chinese, you fool!"

And there you have the rest of the story.

UPDATE: Norman Hsu was arrested in Grand Junction, Colorado, inside St. Mary's Hospital while feeling ill. Apparently he had taken Chinese ginseng capsules with a Japanese soy sauce chaser.

Hsu was unable to pay for his hospital care.

Hillary immediately used this case as proof of the need for universal health care legislation to help the poor... and the children... and the 83 billion uninsured.

Barack Obama thought this proved that we should get out of Iraq and nuke Grand Junction.

John Edwards was unavailable for comment as he was getting a haircut, buying a new fleet of SUVs, and building an addition to his house while foreclosing on poor and elderly homeowners in New Orleans.

Schumer claimed that this was further proof that the Surge was failing and that General Petraeus' report is lying.

Harry Reid said that this proved that McCain-Feingold was already lost...er... I mean that the war in Iraq is lost.

Al Gore stated that this further proved Global warming and that there was scientific consensus.

John Kerry was for the arrest before he was against it.

Larry Craig proclaimed that he didn't know it was Norman Hsu in the next stall.

Liberal bloggers wrote, 'Bush lied and Hsu almost died.'

Jesse Jackson rhymed, 'All that money through Norman Hsu? How'd I miss shakin' down that foo'?'

Hsu's lawyers said, 'Norman's not a flight risk. We recommend release on his own recognizance. We'll get his passport later.'

And there you have the rest of the rest of the story.

The New Improved Edsel

Chief Designer: Roy A. Brown, Jr
(Just before starting work on the Edsel, Mr. Brown completed the 1955 Lincoln "Futura" show car, which went on to become the "Batmobile" in the 1966 television series "Batman")
George Will discusses the relationship between those that know better than the rest of us and the rest of us in 'Lessons from the Doomed Edsel' on RealClearPolitics.com:

[...] In the spring of 1958, S.I. Hayakawa, a professor of semantics (and later a Republican U.S. senator from California), ascribed the Edsel's failure to the Ford executives' excessive confidence in the power of motivational research to enable them to predict -- and modify -- Americans' behavior. In their attempt to design a car that would cater to customers' sexual fantasies, status anxieties and the like, Ford's deep thinkers had neglected to supply good transportation.

"Only the psychotic and the gravely neurotic act out their irrationalities and their compensatory fantasies," Hayakawa wrote. "The trouble with selling symbolic gratification via such expensive items ... is the competition offered by much cheaper forms of symbolic gratification, such as 'Playboy' (fifty cents a copy), 'Astounding Science Fiction' (thirty-five cents a copy), and television (free)."

In 1958, with the Edsel already turned to ashes, John Kenneth Galbraith, with bad timing comparable to the launch of the Edsel, published "The Affluent Society." It asserted that manufacturers, wielding all-powerful advertising, were emancipated by the law of supply and demand because advertisers could manufacture demand for whatever manufacturers wished to supply.

This theory buttressed the liberal project of expanding government in the name of protecting incompetent Americans from victimization, and having government supplant the market as the allocator of wealth and opportunity. But all of Ford's then-mighty marketing prowess could not keep the Edsel from being canceled in 1959. Brooks calculated that it would have been cheaper for Ford to skip the Edsel and give away 110,000 Mercurys.[...]

The free market fulfilled the destiny of the infamous Edsel, but the Edselar 'liberal project of expanding government in the name of protecting incompetent Americans from victimization, and having government supplant the market as the allocator of wealth and opportunity' lemon is alive and well, still advertising a promised Utopia.

Barak Obama: Batman
Hillary Clinton: Batgirl
John Edwards: Robin
Al Gore: Alfred, the Buttler
John Kerry: Commissioner Gordon
Harry Reid: Chief O'Hara
Producer/Director: Vladimir Ilyich Lenin

Our Loss

DR. D. JAMES KENNEDY DIES:
FORT LAUDERDALE, FLA., (September 5,2007) — Founder and Senior Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church Succumbs to Complications from Cardiac Arrest

Dr. D. James Kennedy, founder and senior pastor for 48 years of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church (CRPC) in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., passed away peacefully in his sleep at approximately 2:15 a.m. at his home with his wife and daughter by his bedside, following complications from a cardiac event last December. He was 76.

“Now, I know that someday I am going to come to what some people will say is the end of this life. They will probably put me in a box and roll me right down here in front of the church, and some people will gather around, and a few people will cry. But I have told them not to do that because I don’t want them to cry. I want them to begin the service with the Doxology and end with the Hallelujah chorus, because I am not going to be there, and I am not going to be dead. I will be more alive than I have ever been in my life, and I will be looking down upon you poor people who are still in the land of dying and have not yet joined me in the land of the living. And I will be alive forevermore, in greater health and vitality and joy than ever, ever, I or anyone has known before.”-D. James Kennedy, Ph.D.

Brother, you will be missed... but, only for a while.

Hot New Educational Brain Teasers
(Updated)

(Blue Crab Boulevard)

WHERE'S NORMAN?

I've found him...Can you?

UPDATE: See? I told you I found him. The above picture was taken just outside the entrance to St. Mary's Hospital in Grand Junction, Colorado, as you can plainly see.

Sartre Derangement Syndrome

Dr. John Ray observes in 'Dogmatic Atheists' on one of his blogs, Dissecting Leftism:

There is an interesting short article here which points out how dogmatic many atheists are -- probably more dogmatic than most Christians.

I myself have always wondered at that strange tendency among atheists. Many atheists sound very much like the fieriest of evangelical preachers. So rather than opposing dogma they are just putting up one dogma against another -- something religious people have been doing for centuries, of course.

I myself am as thoroughgoing an atheist as you will find but I have never seen any need to condemn religion or religious people. Most religions (though not all: Islam comes to mind) seem to be of great help to their believers and I am delighted that that is so. I just don't seem to have in me the hate that clearly drives many outspoken atheists to their paroxysms of abuse. [...]

There was a time when this activity was perhaps not so common, but, nonetheless, existent and just as virulent. If one were to take a soil sample from the grave of Jean-Paul Sartre, the DNA among the dirt would not be that of theists, but of his friends.

“First of all, man exists, turns up, appears on the scene, and, only afterwards, defines himself. If man, as the existentialist conceives him, is indefinable, it is because at first he is nothing. Only afterward will he be something, and he himself will have made what he will be. Thus, there is no human nature, since there is no God to conceive it.” (Sartre 1957, 15-16; see also Sartre 1988, 75)1

No problem there in 1957, but Sartre sinned the unforgivable sin shortly before his death in 1980:

‘I do not feel that I am the product of chance, a speck of dust in the universe, but someone who was expected, prepared, prefigured. In short, a being whom only a Creator could put here; and this idea of a creating hand refers to God.’1

However meaningful this statement was to Jean-Paul's inner self is debatable, but the reaction of his friends was unmistakable:

The epilogue is much less edifying. His mistress, Simone de Beauvoir, behaved like a bereaved widow during the funeral. Then she published La cérémonie des adieux in which she turned vicious, attacking Sartre. He resisted Victor’s seduction, she recounts, then he yielded. ‘How should one explain this senile act of a turncoat?’, she asks stupidly. And she adds: ‘All my friends, all the Sartreans, and the editorial team of Les Temps Modernes supported me in my consternation.’1

Sounds like Sartre was excommunicated from his own church to me. I would not be surprised if some of his friends wanted to dig him up and burn him at the stake.

Prioritization

Jack Abramoff must be trying to frame Hillary.

(H.T. Dr. Sanity.)

Nerd Alert

Here is a double-dip specifically for Lance, a pro football fan and Star Wars nerd; Predicted standings for the 2007 season.

(H.T. Daily Dollop.)

Many Thanks

Keith Burgess-Jackson gives a nice compliment in a 3 sentence post titled 'Grandpa John's'.

I couldn't figure out how to link directly to that specific post so it can be found in his Tuesday, 4 September, 2007, entries.

I read his blog daily so that entry was awfully nice to see. Thanks, Keith.

The Tomato That Ate Baraboo

Lance Burri has written an insightful article that discusses the conflict of theories between free market and socialized health care. In it, he used an analogy of tinkering with the ecosystem:

[...] you can introduce a new species, maybe something slow and stupid and good to eat, which will change the ecosystem – maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. But the ecosystem remains, and continues to work along the same principles – just with different inputs, and therefore different outputs.[...]

That reminded me of the results of an introduction of a new species in the Southeastern U.S. that I witnessed while living in Georgia. So following up on Lance's analogy: The implementation of government-controlled health care is the analog of the introduction of the attractive ornamental plant,

Kudzu:

The Winter of Our Health Care Discontent

Bureaucracy Springs Into Culture For a Quick Fix

Just a Few Tweaks to Perfect the Fix

Problem Solved

(Pictures taken from the website Kudzu-The Vine.)

Bath and Birthday Party

Grandma Linda was always a terror with a camera, taking pictures of everything. Now with digital technology, it has become even worse. Our grandbabies' lives have greater photographic documentation than any humans have ever had before. If I search awhile, I think I could find a picture of Cole's first pile in the potty chair.

Here is Cole taking a bath. At first glance it would appear to be a bubble bath. In reality, however, the bubbles are the consequence of thousands of Colie mini-farts. Cheeky monkey!


Nichole has taught Cole many words of sign language. He used a naughty one and is shown getting his hands washed out with soap.

Morgan has just turned two and is readying to blow out the candle. She had already tested the quality of the cake's frosting.

Morgan's dad is a Minnesota Viking fan, while her mom is a Packer fan. The only suitable compromise were gold pom-poms. I fear that she will eventually suffer severe emotional trauma. Pretending not to hate the Vikings may cause her to be an axe murderer or something. (That's a Dora the Destroya tee shirt she's wearing.)

What Up, Homeboy?

Some government officials claim it was caused by the storms; some say it was a terrorist attack. Others say that excessive goose poop acid weakened the structure causing its collapse. I think that it was either a John Kerry wind surfing faux pas or an errant shot by Jane Fonda from an anti-aircraft gun near Hanoi.

F.E.M.A. offered the victims a trailer to live in even though there was no damage to their home. Mayor Ray Nagin offered the use of a school bus. Louis Farrakhan said the Koshkonong levees were deliberately sabotoged. Kanye West averred that it was because President Bush hates the Black people in Fort Atkinson.


I just hope the boat was in the garage.

The Tragic Fruit of Global Warming

There are several paleontologists working in our secret basement laboratory. Other researchers are constantly ribbing them about lacking cranial vaults; having cranial quarries instead. They agree, claiming that they indeed sport diamond mines. Nonetheless, these pickaxes have been working diligently. In addition to the recent research indicating that Homo neanderthalensis existed at the same time as Homo sapiens and that Homo erectus and Homo habilis also existed together, their own discoveries from their dig site near Flint, Michigan, have given rise to some solid theoretical speculation.

Before unveiling their conclusions, our spunky paleocolonoscopists did their famous 'funky monkey dance' through the lab. (Schwartz loves to hang from the light fixtures by his mechanical prehensile tail.)

For the rest of us non-rocks-for-neurons professionals, they offered the layman's version of their technical research:

Chemistry + Time + Chance + Recent Man-made Global Warming=






Enter the newly discovered Global Warming induced ovum deformation from 1934...



"I am entering the Republican Presidential Primary for the election of 2008. The Republicans are of the higher intelligence levels among the newly devolved, albeit inferior, Human Race. The Democrats have fallen to somewhere between warthogs and chipmunks."
Vote Mandrillus Sphinx
President, 2008
You've had Chimpybush as President for 8 years-
Now vote for the real thing!

Sowell at Random

Examples of Thomas Sowell's latest random thoughts on Townhall.com:

[...] One of the painful signs of years of dumbed-down education is how many people are unable to make a coherent argument. They can vent their emotions, question other people's motives, make bold assertions, repeat slogans-- anything except reason.[...]

Oh, yeah? You must be paid off by Exxon-Mobil.

A recent study showed the median income of major corporate CEOs to be about $8 million a year. That's less than a third of what Alex Rodriguez earns and less than one-thirtieth of what Oprah Winfrey makes. But no one is denouncing them for "greed."

Congress should make $8 million a year the minimum wage.

It is amazing how many people who want us to get out of Iraq want us to go into Darfur.

Halliburton vetoed our presence in Darfur.

A joke says that a poll was taken in California, asking if people thought illegal immigration was a serious problem. The results showed that 29 percent said, "Yes, there is a serious problem." But 71 percent said, "No es una problema seriosa."

California's school system teaches in one language only. The Gringos will have to learn Spanish on their own.

People who refuse to face the reality of hard choices are forever coming up with some clever "third way"-- often leading to worse disasters than either of the hard choices.

I always laugh at someone's 'kind' comment about a screwup, "But, he meant well."

Wise people created civilization over the centuries and clever people are dismantling it today. You can see it happening just by channel surfing on TV or hear it in rap music or read it in the pompous nonsense of academics and judges.

But, they mean well.

Many on the political left are so entranced by the beauty of their vision that they cannot see the ugly reality they are creating in the real world.

Acid will do that to ya. Oh, WOW, man, look at all the pretty colors!

One of the great non sequiturs of the left is that, if the free market doesn't work perfectly, then it doesn't work at all-- and the government should step in.

...Step in it.

Despite people who speak glibly of "earlier and simpler times," all that makes earlier times seem simpler is our ignorance of their complexities.

No brilliant Grandpa John's blogging in earlier times. What a rip!

Chutzpah department: When disbarred former D.A. Michael Nifong mailed his Bar card back to his state Bar Association, he included a note decrying "the fundamental unfairness" with which the Bar had treated him. This from a man who was ready to ruin three lives and polarize a community, in order to win an election.

But... what could they do? The electric chair was off the table.

Tragedy in High Def

I presume they died instantaneously.

Washington Gets a Boob Job

Larry Kudlow asserts in his article, 'The Big Easy’s Billion Dollar Boondoggle', posted on NRO:

[...]Perhaps all this money should’ve been directly deposited in the bank accounts of the 300,000 people living in New Orleans. All divvied up, that $127 billion would come to $425,000 per person![...]

Is there any surprise here? The same inefficient results have occurred in public education, the war on poverty, social security, medicare and medicaid, ... and still the Progressives are calling for surges in all these areas plus national health care, national nanny oversight for the sake of the children, for the well-being of the earth, for women, for minorities, for your own good.

In what I think is a related story on MSNBC.com, Jennie Yabroff interviews Diana West, author of the book The Death of the Grownup, titling the article, 'Perpetual Adolescence'. Our affluence during the last couple of generations has allowed adults to continue in adolescent levels of responsibility while expecting 'the government' as the parent to assume more and more of it for us while we are out 'doing our own thing' and 'finding ourselves'. Since more than half of the present population is reliant on a government paycheck or payout, it seems that we are a culture welded to the nipple. The strong are well fed and the runts get much less, but cannot envision any other source of sustenance.

There is no surprise that most politicians cater to these notions for election and re-election. It is also no surprise that presently the Islamofascists believe that they can outlast our tepid cultural determination and have their way around the globe.