Thursday, August 30, 2007

First, They Came for the Assault Weapons...

There's an extended comment section over on Boot & Sabers over the inappropriate photo introducing an article concerning Governor Doyle's anti-gun initiatives. I feel compelled to put in my two cents in order to lend an air of sobriety and wisdom to the conversation:

OnOrfordville.gun
Footville's Doyley Magazine

Political Commentary
Goin' fer yer Piece


Governor Doyle's plan focuses mostly on gun regulations.


(The gun pictured above was used in several ambushes of a partially innocent grandson by a lowdown, dirty, bushwhacking grandpa with the street name of Grandpa Doofus. Big street cred, but the weapon was confiscated by the law, A.K.A. Grandma Punkin, who pried it out of his cold, dead fingers.)

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Opine the French, English, and Poles

Glenn Garvin reports on a PBS special, 'The Anti-Americans (A Hate/Love Relationship)', in the Miami Herald:

French:
[...]a series of interviews with irate French citizens blathering on about how McDonald's is oppressing their country. (This might sound faintly ridiculous coming from anybody else, but actually it is not hard at all to imagine the French army surrendering to Ronald McDonald.) Though, one woman adds sternly, it won't last forever: ''We threw out the Germans, we'll throw out the Americans, too.'' Asks the interviewer in astonishment: ''The French threw out the Germans?'' Well, the Frenchwoman replies airily, ''you Americans helped a little.''[...]
English:
[...] ritual denunciation of George Bush at a languorous British dinner party: ''Why should an idiot society have intelligent politicians?''
Poles:
[...] ''If something happened here in our country,'' argues actor Krzysztof Jaczar, summing up the national consensus, ``only America would help us.''
I would now like to apologize for every Polock joke that I ever told or laughed at during the 50's, 60's, and/or 70's.

(H.T. Commonsense and Wonder.)

Rejecting Truth, Morals, Values

Roger Scruton discusses Art, Beauty, and Judgment in The American Spectator:
[...]Here we see another motive for the desire to desecrate. It is a desire to turn aesthetic judgment against itself, so that it no longer seems like a judgment of us. This you see all the time in children -- the delight in disgusting noises, words, allusions, which helps them to distance themselves from that adult world that judges them, and whose authority they wish to deny. That ordinary refuge of children from the burden of adult judgment has become the refuge of adults from their culture. By using art as an instrument of desecration they neutralize its claims: it loses its authority, and becomes a fellow conspirator in the plot against ideals.
You aren't the boss of me, man!

Eat More Rice

I imagine that Forrest Gump somehow had a hand in this:

[...]Divided into teams, they used four kinds of rice: two ancient varieties called ki ine (yellow rice) and murasaki ine (purple rice) that grow into yellow- and brown-leafed plants respectively, and also more modern Beni Miyako (Red Miyako) and Tsugaru Roman, an Aomori variety with a fresh-green color.[...]
Snap, crackle, pop!

Roy Rogers and Dale Evans... Who?

I thought I had posted these photos a while back, but discovered that they weren't on the blog.

Rodeo!!





Bring on the bulls!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Ridiculously Funny...
Indeed, Jacksonian Funny

Marc Sheppard reports on the latest escapades of Jesse Jackson, American Hero Abroad:
[...] At Thursday's memorial commemorating the 200th anniversary of the abolition of England's slave trade, Mayor Ken Livingstone was literally brought to tears as he apologized "on behalf of London and its institutions" for their role in ferrying human cargo to the New World.

If you've been paying attention to this charlatan's game, it won't shock you that the Guardian reported that "Jackson walked over and placed his arm around the mayor" as he delivered his wet-eyed contrition for the acts of those long dead before his great-grandfather was ever born.

Afterwards, in his classic mumbo-jumbo non-sequitur rhyme-speak, the man who put Hymie-town on the map praised Livingstone for breaking "important ground." A Kumbaya moment, indeed -- of course he then snatched the opportunity to demand that apologetic Londoners now break into their wallets and pay reparations for the sins of a few of their great-great-grandfathers.[...]

Kerry, Swiftboaters, Defamation

Beldar reminds us that Senator John Kerry's recent posturing is just more Global Warming:
[...]Massachusetts' three-year statute of limitations for defamation claims made it the very last feasible venue in which Sen. Kerry conceivably could file suit and gain his public vindication, if the SwiftVets' allegations about him were false.[...]
Time's up!
So let's drop the snark and call a spade a spade: The very last thing John Kerry wants is to ever give the SwiftVets the legal tools they'd need to conclusively document their claims, because truth is, of course, a complete defense to defamation claims. Kerry doesn't deserve vindication, and he knows he could never get it in court. In court, there would be compulsory discovery of witnesses and documents, followed by a fair and disciplined adversary process, followed by a definitive determination of the truth or falsity of the SwiftVets' charges — a determination that he damn well knows would go against him. Instead, the haze of time and the near-universal bluster of his mainstream media allies (who continue to insist that the SwiftVets' claims were "debunked" and that Kerry was victimized) has given him a far better result than he could ever get in court.[...]

Fractured Flickers of Wisconsin History

On This Day: August 27
1833 - Margarethe Meyer Schurz Born
On this date Margartha Meyer Schurz was born in Hamburg, Germany. In 1852 she relocated to Watertown, Wisconin with her husband, Revolutionary War hero, Carl Schurz. In Watertown, Margarethe began holding classes for children of family and friends. She conducted these classes utilizing the educational philosophy set forth in Froebel's System of Infant Training. Margarethe Meyer Schurz founded the first kindergarten in the United States in November 1856, in Watertown, Wisconsin. [Source: Froebel Web]
Clarification: Carl Schurz, a 'Revolutionary War hero', who married Margarethe Meyer, born in 1833, must have been a serious cradle robber (He was, after all, a serious Republican, but my research could not find a relational link to Mark Foley). Or... it was a Revolution in Germany where he was forced to escape to Switzerland and eventually the U.S. where he served as a general for the North in the American Civil War. Whatever.
1878 - Typewriter Patented
On this date Christopher Latham Sholes patented the typewriter. The idea for this invention began at Kleinsteuber's Machine Shop in Milwaukee in the late 1860s. A mechanical engineer by training, Sholes, along with associates Carlos Glidden and Samuel Soulé, spent hours tinkering with the idea. They mounted the key of an old telegraph instrument on a base and tapped down on it to hit carbon & paper against a glass plate. This idea was simple, but in 1868 the mere idea that type striking against paper might produce an image was a novelty. Sholes proceeded to construct a machine to reproduce the entire alphabet. The prototype was sent to Washington as the required Patent Model. This original model still exists at the Smithsonian. Investor James Densmore provided the marketing impetus which eventually brought the machine to the Remington Arms Company. Although Remington mass-marketed his typewriter begining in 1874, it was not an instant success. A few years later, improvements made by Remington engineers gave the machine its market appeal and sales skyrocketed. [Source: Wisconsin Lore and Legends, p.41]
Some say that Milwaukee's economy is going down the tubes. Blame it in Bill Gates (and George Bush, of course).
1919 - Nation's First Commercial Air Transport Commences
On this date the Lawson Airliner, with 16 passengers, took off from the Milwaukee County Airport on a demonstration flight to New York City and Washington, D.C. [Source: History Just Ahead: A Guide to Wisconsin's Historical Markers edited by Sarah Davis McBride, p. 39]
Upon arriving in D.C., the airline crew was fired by the Clintons and replaced by friends of Hillary. They then donated to the Doyle campaign and soon after won the state government travel contract.

Finis

Sunday, August 26, 2007

But, but... That's Not Legal, Is It?

William T. "Bill" Sali, represents Idaho's First Congressional District writes on Townhall.com:

[...]I have taken a solemn oath to defend the rights of my constituents of all faiths so that they will remain free to practice their respective religions in this country.

But by my oath I did not give up my freedom of speech that allows me to express my belief in the importance of Christian faith to our nation's heritage and future. I believe very strongly that Christianity has made and continues to make our country strong and that the God of the Bible has blessed our country and offers us His divine protection. Others may argue just as strenuously that their particular religion - be it Hinduism or Buddhism, Islam or Vodooism - makes this country great, and they are free to do so. I won't agree with that assessment, but I will defend their right to practice their faith and share their opinion publicly. Freedom of speech and freedom of religion are pillars of our constitutional government.

None of this distracts me from working to reform Congress and get our government back to basics: Low taxes, a powerful national defense, a limited role for Uncle Sam in the lives of our fellow citizens and a well-functioning immigration policy. Reforming Congress will go along way toward getting our nation back on track. But no amount of reform will help unless we remember and adhere to the principles that started our country and made it great. Those principles - human dignity, justice and liberty - are rooted in Judeo-Christian teaching. To disregard that teaching is to undermine the very foundations of our liberty, which we only do to our great peril.

I can't stop my leg!

I came up first in a google search on the term "I can't stop my leg!" I even came in before Robert Klein's wikipedia page!

That's gotta mean something.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Grandbaby, etc., Update

ROAD TRIP!!
Morgan tells Nichole how to drive while Cole tries to rip off the arm of Morgan's doll.




GPWA (Grandbaby Professional Wrestling Association)

"Cantankerous Cole, my dollie could take you best two out of three!"

"Oh, yeah? Malefactor Morgan, you're a big booger that couldn't fight your way out of a wet Kleenex!"




"No, Uncle Matt, I don't have any doobies."




"Obama said what??"



"Gotta go... another stampede!"



"Aww, Mom & Dad... Why can't you be cool like Grandpa Steve?"




The Evil Sisters

Have a Cigar!

Linda's hobby is booming. After surviving a heron attack last year, this Koi pair in our backyard pond decided to start a family.


Here are some of their offspring. The variations of color and patterns are remarkable.



Linda and Kim are raising them in two separate tanks. There are about 120 of them. Don't ask me their names... I still get Play-d'oh, Varispottle, and Stockertease mixed up.



In another pond, the always hungry Oscar hopes to celebrate with a Koi fry.



Kim tries to explain to Pepsi that he's still stuck with his Purina.



Kittyanna Katrina Kallikovski-Mayovich bides her time for a luncheon opportunity.



The cigar selected for celebration is the Don Rafael #67 Maduro, by Victor Sinclair from the Dominican Republic. Any takers?

Friday, August 24, 2007

Preplanned Funerals

It is rumored that Don Imus has chosen this as his grave marker:


Please note the nappy texture.


(Photo taken from Donald Luskin.)

August 24, 1970

On this day in Wisconsin's history... 1970:

On this date a car bomb exploded outside Sterling Hall, killing research scientist Richard Fassnacht. Sterling Hall was targeted for housing the Army Mathematics Research Center and was bombed in protest of the war in Vietnam. The homemade bomb (2,000 pounds of ammonium nitrate soaked in aviation fuel) was detonated by the New Year's Gang, aka Vanguard of the Revolution, who demanded that a Milwaukee Black Panther official be released from police custody, ROTC be expelled from the UW campus, and "women's hours" be abolished on campus. The entire New Year's Gang fled to Canada the evening of the explosion. Four men were charged with this crime: Karleton Armstrong, David Fine, Dwight Armstrong, and Leo Burt. All but Burt were captured and served time for their participation. Leo Burt remains at large.[Source: On Wisconsin (online PDF) Summer 2005]
Perhaps Burt is now working for al-Qaeda or the Taliban.
Now 53, the elder Armstrong runs Loose Juice, a fruit juice stand just blocks from Sterling Hall. He rarely works at the stand; he prefers playing golf. He spends three nights a week with his mother. They play Scrabble.

Dwight Armstrong works for Union Cab in Madison. He keeps a low profile and has not spoken publicly about the bombing.

David Fine earned a law degree from the University of Oregon in 1984; he was last known to be living in the Pacific Northwest.

Joe Dillinger, Fassnacht's faculty supervisor, a scientist in his mid-50s at the time of the explosion, was perhaps the most deeply wounded. With his research in superconductivity destroyed and his chief researcher dead, Dillinger went into severe emotional decline.

"He died a few years after," Reeder said. "He was a broken man."1
Bob Fassnacht could not be reached for comment.

Packer Fan

I support our Green Bay Packers. Because of this fact, I feel that we should pull them out of the National Football League. Over the many years that they have fought in this civil war, there have been so many that have been injured, some even ending their careers. Others have become drug addicted and many have committed Abu Ghraib style personal fouls. The NFL has become a quagmire, there is no end in sight, and it has been difficult to fill the roster quota with quality players. The financial cost continues to mount. This is money that the state could better use for education, helping the poor, fighting global warming, universal health care, or filling Governor Doyle's personal coffers.

Bring our boys home and redeploy them nearer their families. They could still watch game film and hold conference tele-practices without pads on weekends. They could compete in virtual fantasy football.

The Bears hate us so much due to all the terrible, abusive butt-kickings that we have bestowed upon them over the generations. If we would sit down, talk it out, negotiate, apologize, and pay restitution, they would learn to love us. We would regain the love and respect of the rest of the league as well.

I support our Packers. Bring them home.

Don't you dare call me unpackerotic.

Free Mike Vick

Mike Adams must have eaten a late snack at a bad Thai restaurant:

[...]It all started a few nights ago when I had a dream. In the dream I was at a dog fight somewhere in the back woods of Georgia. I’d never been to a dog fight before and I couldn’t believe how brutal it was to see such a thing first hand. One dog started to overtake the other and eventually the other dog just collapsed lifeless there in front of me.[...]

I just sat there for awhile in silence. But then I decided to say something. I turned to the guy next to me and said, “Man, this is brutal. This is the most brutal thing I’ve ever seen.” He said, “Not me. I used to work in an abortion clinic.”

Right away I new what he was talking about. And so did the only feminist who was there watching the dog fight. She must have been overcome by the moral repulsion brought on by her awareness of the contradiction. While dog-fighting was illegal for all, women everywhere enjoyed a constitutional right to abort their children. A dangerous message was being sent and, to her, the course of action was clear.

I also dreamed that before long there was an organized movement to make dog-fighting legal. The feminists were outside of courthouses wearing t-shirts and holding signs that said “Keep your laws off my doggie,” “My doggie, my choice,” and something I couldn’t understand about a case called “Rover v. Wade.”[...]

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Wisdom From the East

Matthew Philips reports in Newsweek:
[...]China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation."
The DNC along with Pelosi and Reid are all abuzz and plan on mobilizing to introduce and pass a 'Heaven Tax' to be applied to Christians. Since a good portion of the Supreme Court justices cite other nation's laws as precedents (stare sino decisis) for their own rulings, it should prove 'Constitutional'.

I floated away from my dead body and walked toward the light. Ahead stood the magnificent Pearly Gates. As I approached the smiling St. Peter, I was mugged by Nancy Pelosi.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Perversity

Gary Wolf writes a very good, short article, titled 'Diversity, Nihilism, and the Anti-Rational Mind' on American Thinker. Here's a portion:

[...]Looking back over the history of Western thought, we see numerous approaches to the nature of reality. One can be as Lucretius, seeing only the material world. One can be as Pythagoras, tracing existence to the perfection of mathematical laws. One can adhere to the Christian worldview, resting on God and His message. Then there is Descartes, elevating the rational mind to its place in the pantheon.

Though the net is very wide, what all of these approaches have in common is the exaltation of an aspect of reality. Each brings into focus a major foundation of our existence. Competing against each other for our hearts and minds, they create the marketplace of ideas.

But if the advocates of Diversity had their way, there would be no rational mind, no God, no regularity, no tradition, no schools of thought. From the vantage point of Diversity, it is crucial that these obstacles be swept away. They cause the individual to focus on behavior, not on outcomes. His world is filled with restrictions, maxims, and standards. This means that he is free to make history.[...]

One failure after another, even the totalitarian upheavals of the twentieth century, have done nothing to dampen their zeal.[...]
Good, concise stuff.

Potatoe

Pat Schroeder, the former congresswoman from Colorado, addressing the Gertrude Stein Democratic Club: “For years, I’ve felt like the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dike.”

Mark Hemmingway responds:

"...a gaffe that’s bad on so many gender-bending levels it makes Dan Quayle seem like Pericles."

Latest Hit Remake by
Hillary and the Spinnerets

Jonah Goldberg discusses the violent War for Dominance in Cyberspace in 'Popping the Left's Internet Bubble' on Townhall.com.

[...]In May, the Washington Post suggested that conservatives are losing the battle for the Web because of the very "nature of the Republican Party and its traditional discipline," which is "the antithesis of the often chaotic, bottom-up, user-generated atmosphere of the Internet."

More recently, Joe Trippi, Howard Dean's 2004 campaign manager, described the Web as "a medium that abhors command and control." He continued: "Two guesses: Which party is really good at command and control? The Republican Party. Which isn't? The Democratic Party."

Translation: Progressives are better at the Web because the Web is all about hangin' loose, letting your freak flag fly and stickin' it to the Man, and that's what freedom-loving liberals are all about. "Web 2.0," we are told, is ushering in a "new politics" of participatory democracy and a new Progressive age.[...](italics mine)
Man, I gotta get brushed back up on hangin' loose, lettin' my freak flag fly, and stickin' it to the man- jes' lahk the olden days. My blogging has just been getting too disciplined, too commanded and controlled, too logical and stoic.

The Progressive Spider and the Affluent, Guilt-ridden, Unbelieving Fruit Fly

A.K.A

The Spider and the Fly
An Apologue.
A New Version Of An Old Story.


Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there."
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."

"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"

Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, " Dear friend what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome -- will you please to take a slice?"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"

"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise,
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,
If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say,
And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."

The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly.
Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple -- there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue --
Thinking only of her crested head -- poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,
Within his little parlour -- but she ne'er came out again!

And now dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed:
Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly
.

--Mary Howitt 1821.

OK, maybe next time I'll let my A-game freak flag fly.

I'm Not Here to Talk About the Past
I Want to Talk About the Future




There goes Hillary's Hall of Fame vote. I've always suspected that she's been using steroids. Just compare the size of her calves now with those she sported in college.

At Wellesley College


At Balco Labs

Monday, August 20, 2007

Aliens Always Invade D.C.-
The Weakest Minds Are Easiest to Conquer

Peter Suderman pans The Invasion, a recent remake of the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers, now starring Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig. Suderman included a couple of lines that I really enjoyed:
[...]It’s not long before the streets are filled with blank-faced, dead-eyed Washington office workers, which, if not for the whole alien invasion thing, would normally just mean that it’s Monday morning.[...]

At one point, Kidman and Craig end up at a cocktail party with some European diplomats. A Russian envoy waxes on about the evils of American imperialism, the war in Iraq, and U.S. relations with North Korea. Kidman responds with a firmly worded rebuttal that includes references to post-modern feminism, Abraham Maslow, and a host of psychology-department heavyweights. Both are heavy-handed, self-absorbed, vaguely obnoxious, far too well-spoken, and completely full of themselves — and if you don’t think that’s realistic, you’ve obviously never been to a D.C. cocktail party.[...]
According to Suderman, this dog should be should be put to sleep.

Paging Michael Vick... Paging Michael Vick.

A Vision of Peace-
Don't Worry, You'll Get Used to the Chains

Bruce Bawer knocks another one out of the park in City Journal in penning 'The Peace Racket'. Here's a single paragraph excerpt:

Peace studies students also discover how to think in terms of “deep culture.” How to prevent war between, say, the U.S. and Saddam’s Iraq? Answer: examine each country’s deep culture—its key psychosocial traits, good and bad—to understand its motives. Americans, according to this bestiary, are warlike and money-obsessed; Iraqis are intensely religious and proud. Not surprisingly, the Peace Racket’s summations of deep cultures skew against the West. The deep-culture approach also avoids calling tyrants or terrorists “evil”—for behind every atrocity, in this view, lies a legitimate grievance, which the peacemaker should locate so that all parties can meet at the negotiating table as moral equals. SUNY Binghamton, for instance, offers a peace studies course that seeks to “arrive at an understanding of contemporary violence in its ideological, cultural, and structural dimensions in a bid to move away from ‘evil,’ ‘inhuman,’ and ‘uncivilized’ as analytical categories.”
OK... a second paragraph:
George Orwell would have understood the attraction of privileged young people to the Peace Racket. “Turn-the-other-cheek pacifism,” he observed in 1941, “only flourishes among the more prosperous classes, or among workers who have in some way escaped from their own class. The real working class . . . are never really pacifist, because their life teaches them something different. To abjure violence it is necessary to have no experience of it.” If so many young Americans have grown up insulated from the realities that Vegetius and Sun Tzu elucidated centuries ago, and are therefore easy marks for the Peace Racket, it’s thanks to the success of the very things the Peace Racket despises above all—American capitalism and American military preparedness.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Another Piltdown Strawman

John Baden writes in 'The Terror of Ethanol' in TCS Daily:
[...]It takes over 450 pounds of corn, enough calories to feed one person for a year, to produce 25 gallons of ethanol.[...]

Rolling Stone magazine recently nailed the problem in an article by Jeff Goodell, "Ethanol Scam: Ethanol Hurts the Environment And Is One of America's Biggest Political Boondoggles." Goodell says, "The great danger of confronting peak oil and global warming isn't that we will sit on our collective [behinds] and do nothing while civilization collapses, but that we will plunge after 'solutions' that will make our problems even worse. Like believing we can replace gasoline with ethanol, the much-hyped biofuel that we make from corn."
The promotion of ethanol usage in America's internal combustion engines will continue to widen the chasm between the world's rich and poor. The Clampetts are already rich in Beverly Hills and Granny's still output will only make them richer. Black gold, Texas tea, indeed.

The resultant increase in the world's poor children will cause Sally Struthers to flood America with her tears in such a way that will resemble the flood in Noah's time. New Orleans levees, indeed. FEMA, prepare thyself.

Sectarian Civil War

A middle-aged Janesville man shows two bullets which he says hit his house following an early morning Democrat Vigilante Coalition raid in Janesville, Wisconsin. Apparently the Progressives had acted on a rumor that the man had a Conservative voting record.

Five Koi, a cat, two squirrels, three sparrows, and a rose bush had their feelings hurt in the surprise attack.


(Further examples of sectarian violence can be seen at Dr. Sanity's Carnival of the Insanities.)

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Still Worth a Thousand Words

Evolution of Democrat Party Platform

Billiam, of View from the Cheap Seats observes:
It has been said that 100,000 monkeys banging away on 100,000 typewriters would eventually produce Shakespeare. NOT! While scientists say we share 98% of our DNA with apes, that 2% makes all the difference. More than likely, those same monkeys would produce, instead, the complete, verbatim Democrat party platform. What else would you expect from creatures that take their own feces and throw it at opponents. I'm talking about the monkeys, not the Democrats! Then again... never mind.
Matt has a tee-shirt that states: I wish I were a monkey. Then I could throw poop at you.

Cheeky monkey!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Heads, I Win. Tails, You Lose.

Via Dr. Sanity:

"Using contradictory discourses as a political strategy:

In postmodern discourse, truth is rejected explicitly and consisteny can be a rare phenomenon. Consider the following pairs of claims."

- On the one hand, all truth is relative; on the other hand, postmodernism tells it like it really is.

- On the one hand, all cultures are equally deserving of respect; on the other, Western culture is uniquely destructive and bad.

- Values are subjective--but sexism and racism are really evil

- Technology is bad and destructive--and it is unfair that some people have more technology than others.

- Tolerance is good and dominance is bad--but when postmodernists come to power, political correctness follows. (Stephen Hicks, Explaining Postmodernism, p 167.)
"There is a common pattern here: Subjectivism and relativism in one breath, dogmatic absolutism in the next."

Via Wicked Thoughts:
Strange double-think:

-The left equates Bush with Hitler and attacks his support of Israel.

-It says that the president has shredded the Constitution and that it is is a living document.

-It calls America a racist, genocidal state, and it attacks the administration for squandering our international reputation.

-It says that globalization is bad and that international cooperation is good.

-Whenever President Bush invokes the memory of 9/11, the left calls him a fear monger, and it also insists that a catastrophic climate change is coming soon.

-It says that we cannot win in Iraq but that we can destroy the planet.

-The left wants us to believe the same government that does such a good job running veterans' healthcare, public education, social security, and immigration is going to really do a great job running a nationalized healthcare system.
Negotiate this road with care. Former President Bill Clinton's 'bridge to the 21st Century' is totally unsupported with the Tigris and Euphrates raging below. (I just love Babylonian references.)

Yo, Yo Dude... I Be Bad

This is pretty funny.


It should spawn a new T.V. series, CSI-Kentucky.

Anything Happen in School Today, Dear?

Parents are sending children to school in stab-proof uniforms to guard against knife crime, it has emerged.

They are paying a firm which makes body armour to line blazers and jumpers with a stab-resistant material called Kevlar.

The precautions are aimed at protecting pupils from knife attacks as street crime spills over into schools.

A wave of stabbings involving teenagers includes the killing of promising footballer Kiyan Prince, who was knifed just yards from his school gates in north London.

Kevlar is a synthetic fibre that can be spun into fabric five times stronger than steel and is used in armoured vests worn by British troops in Iraq.[...]1


"Not much, Mom. Billy was shot in the head and Tommy lost his legs to an I.E.D."

"That's nice, Honey. Any homework?"

(H.T. Commonsense and Wonder.)

Monday, August 13, 2007

Fisking the 1st Amendment

Daniel Webster (1782-1852) was a successful lawyer, U.S. Representative, U.S. Senator, and statesman from Massachussetts. In 1843 Webster expounded on the nature of the New England Puritans and their effect upon the Founding Fathers:

"The Bible came with them. And it is not to be doubted, that to free and universal reading of the Bible in that age, men were much indebted for right views of civil liberty. The Bible is a book of faith, and a book of religion, of especial revelation from God: But it is also a book which teaches man his own individual responsibility, his own dignity, and his equality with his fellow man." (The Home Book of Quotations- Classical and Modern, Burton Stevenson, 1967.)

In the modern language of enlightened materialist macro-evolution: 'Individual responsibility solely a construction of the oppressive class, dignity equivalent to that of amoeboid ancestry, and equality only among the unwashed masses.'




Thank Gaia (Greek goddess of the Earth, daughter of Chaos, mother AND wife of Uranus!) that the Constitution's 1st Amendment literally demands separation of church and state!

(Illustration of unknown origin)

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Ankielhauled

Keelhauling (from Dutch kielhalen; "to drag along the keel") was a severe form of corporal punishment meted out to sailors at sea.

The sailor was tied to a rope that looped beneath the vessel, thrown overboard on one side of the ship, and dragged under the ship's keel to the other side. As the hull was often covered in barnacles and other marine growth, this could result in lacerations and other injuries. This generally happened if the offender was pulled quickly. If pulled slowly, his weight might lower him sufficiently to miss the barnacles but might result in his drowning. If the rope snapped, the Captain could conclude that the punishment was not done properly and order it carried out again.1

I love stories like this:

St. Louis Cardinal outfielder Rick Ankiel:

[...]In 2000, during Ankiel’s rookie season with the St. Louis Cardinals, the young left-hander struck out 194 batters in 175 innings. His fastball topped out in the mid-90 mph range, complemented by a curve that had the aerodynamic action of a Whiffle ball.

Then it all came undone, against Atlanta, in Game 1 of a 2000 NL Division Series. Taking a 6-0 lead into the top of the third, Ankiel became the first major-leaguer in 110 years to throw five wild pitches in an inning.[...]

Whatever the cause, Ankiel never again resembled the pitcher who won 11 games as a rookie. Ineffective in six 2001 starts, he was sent to the minor leagues for a change of scenery, then called back at the end of the season. Then his elbow went bad, requiring surgery that sidelined him for most of two seasons.

When he threw only three strikes in a 23-pitch spring training “scrimmage” in 2005, Ankiel was put on waivers. No takers. Then came the epiphany: A rare NL pitcher capable of working counts at the plate with an idea of driving the ball, he would seek his destiny with a bat.

The conversion was not unprecedented. Babe Ruth famously changed positions. So did Stan Musial, who won 17 games in the low minors before a sore shoulder changed his career trajectory.

Ankiel isn’t Ruth or Musial, but he’s only two years into his experiment – he missed 2006 with a knee injury – and his power swing is intriguing enough to suspect he’ll be called up by the Cardinals in September.[...]2

Not September... August:

[...]He got a standing ovation before his first at-bat. Not unexpected, but still pretty cool. San Diego's starter, though, was Chris Young, the 6-10 righthander who leads the majors in ERA and has held opponents to a .184 batting average this year. Ankiel popped up on an 0-1 pitch to shortstop Khalil Greene in his first at-bat. He struck out looking in his second at-bat, swinging in his third. Just one good swing in those three trips to the plate, a fastball he fouled straight back, the kind he just missed squaring up.[...]

Then, wow.

Just, wow.

With the Cards up, 2-0, and two on and two out in the seventh inning, Ankiel stepped to the plate against Doug Brocail. First base was open, but no way the Padres were scared of pitching to Ankiel. Then, with one flick of the bat, a nice, easy, balanced swing, he sent a fly ball screaming toward the right field stands. I thought the same thing everyone in the stadium thought: "No way he just did that ..."

But the ball landed over the wall, 384 feet from home plate, and Ankiel pumped his fist as he sprinted around the bases with the Cardinals ahead, 5-0. Holy cow.

Welcome back, Rick. 3

And today:
Pitcher-turned-outfielder Rick Ankiel homered twice and drove in three runs to lead the St. Louis Cardinals to a 6-1 victory Saturday against the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Ankiel, who also scored three times, hit the first pitch he saw over the right-field fence in the first and seventh innings, giving him three home runs since he was called up Thursday from Class AAA Memphis. 4

I even hope Rick Ankiel does well against the Brewers the rest of this season, as long as the Brewers win.

Now That's Queer

Democratic Presidential candidate Mike Gravel of Alaska was asked about 'gay issues' on this YouTube video. Here is a transcripted portion of his answer:

[...]If you had any knowledge of history, ancient history, in Sparta they encouraged homosexuality because they fight for the people they love. And if it's your partner and you love them, you're prepared to die for them, and that's the same ethic you see in the military today. It's not the country. It's my partner. Go see the movies on war, and it's always the person next to me who is in my foxhole with me. Well, I got to tell you, extend that a little further and you'll see why the Spartans trained their people to be homosexuals, because they're better fighters.

Historical accounts of Spartan military/cultural training are generally as follows:
[...]The military and the city-state became the center of Spartan existence. The state determined whether children, both male and female, were strong when they were born; weakling infants were left in the hills to die of exposure. Exposing weak or sickly children was a common practice in the Greek world, but Sparta institutionalized it as a state activity rather than a domestic activity. At the age of seven, every male Spartan was sent to military and athletic school. These schools taught toughness, discipline, endurance of pain (often severe pain), and survival skills. At twenty, after thirteen years of training, the Spartan became a soldier. The Spartan soldier spent his life with his fellow soldiers; he lived in barracks and ate all his meals with his fellow soldiers. He also married, but he didn't live with his wife; one Athenian once joked that Spartans had children before they even saw the face of their wives.[...] 1

Threatened by Messenian revolt and hostile neighbors, Spartan males were trained from birth to be functioning members of an armed camp. Spartan infants were assessed by the state at birth as to whether they had the robust qualities requisite to become warriors. Weakling infants were left in the mountains to die. Surviving males were thrust into military training at age seven. Made to endure the cold, naked or with minimal clothing, and fed only black broth and rough fare, Spartan boys were encouraged to steal food. The idea was resultant cleverness would help in foraging when, as soldiers, they later took part in warfare; while the self-denial imposed on the youth was designed to toughen bodies and make Spartans indifferent to hardship. The classic, but no doubt apocryphal story of this indifference to pain is the legend of the Spartan boy who had stolen a fox, which he concealed under his cloak. Rather than reveal his secret, so the story goes, the lad allowed the fox to gnaw into his stomach. 2

A History Channel program also notes that many young men were killed in training and that one requirement to complete training was to kill a Helot slave and not get caught.

Get a grip, Gravel.

RESEARCH UPDATE: Perhaps I have been a tad hasty in criticizing Mr. Gravel. Our dispute is due to alternate translations of a short composition by the Greek poet Simonides concerning Thermopylae:

Greek: Ὦ ξεῖν’, ἀγγέλλειν Λακεδαιμονίοις ὅτι τῇδε
κείμεθα, τοῖς κείνων ῥήμασι πειθόμενοι.

Transliteration: O xein', angellein Lakedaimoniois hoti têde
keimetha tois keinon rhémasi peithomenoi.

Latin: Die, hospes, Spartae nos te hie vidisse jacentes.
Dum sanctis patriae legibus obsequtnur.


It is my understanding that Mike Gravel's translation, the diligent work by movie star rapper/Greek scholar, Bustacapinyoass, renders, 'We died defending our homosexual foxholemates in our sacred love.'

Less scholarly, but more commonly, translators render the poem, "Go passenger, and tell at Lacedaemon [Sparta], that we died here in obedience to her sacred laws."

My postmodern apologies to Mr. Gavel for the understandable mix up.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Title Says It All

The Mac Johnson article published in Human Events well summarizes its content:

'The NSA Can’t Invade Our Privacy -- It’s Under IRS Occupation Already'

Saturday, August 04, 2007

And Don't Run With Scissors Either



"Quick, Khalid, my lighter won't light...
Stand under this picture of Bush!"


(Photo from An Englishman's View by Theo Spark.)

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Seeking Lawyer

It's off to Milwaukee this morning to consult with an attorney about our stucco problems with the construction company that installed our windows and exterior trim.

1.) We need to be defended in a lawsuit that claims defamation of the construction company through a WKOW interview spot, Better Business Bureau attempts, and entries on a rip-off website. That should be laughed out of court.

2.) We will more than likely counter sue the company for damages. The lawyer has already seen our 'evidence' and has invited us to consult. He is presently the Chairman-Elect of the Board of Directors of the Construction Law Section of the State Bar, so I expect that we have a good case. We'll see.

It is funny how a couple of calls to the construction company with a few simple questions about our present stucco problems have escalated into this mess.