Ahmadinejad Sets Lance Straight
Cookies with the tyrant

Robert Ferrigno on NRO:

[...]“You there,” said Ahmadinejad, addressing him. “What’s your name?”

“Lance.”

“Lance?” said Ahmadinejad. “Like a spear?”

“I guess.” Lance flipped his head, swung his hair out of his eyes. “If, it makes you feel better, I didn’t know what the Mayflower was either.”

“Sit down, Lance. I want to talk with you about President Obama. You’re not a Jew, are you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“You would know if you were, I can assure you. Now sit, sit.” Ahmadinejad stroked his beard as Lance seated himself across from him. “These conciliatory — he made air quotes with his fingers — “proposals of Obama’s, they’re a ruse, designed to convince us that he is weak and out of his depth. Well, it won’t work.”

“I’m not really supposed to hang out with the guests,” said Lance. “I used to be a lifeguard, and the pool manager really ripped me for that.”

“I’m sure no one here will rip you, in spite of what your Zionist newspapers print.”

“Cool.” Lance pointed at the almond crescents. “Can I have a cookie?”[...]

But, I Had a Scenic View

I spent the greater part of Tuesday wondering what Lance was doing.

Tuesday was a beautiful day. It was somewhat cold and windy, but the sun was out and it was such a wonderful Spring day. However, we were not able to get out and enjoy it. My wife was being deposed by our adversary's lawyer. And deposed. And deposed.

The young barrister started at 9:00 AM and didn't finish until 5:00 PM. There were a few bathroom breaks and a short lunch break. We went about a block down Main St. and had lunch at an Irish/Celtic? restaurant while we discussed strategy with our own lawyer.

When the adversary finally finished at 5, our lawyer asked the lawyers for WKOW and another defendant if they had any questions for Linda. Their answer was summed up by the WKOW representative, who spread out his arms and said, "Thankfully, no." During the deposition I counted him rolling his eyes 873 times.

Linda kicked butt!

During this whole time we were sitting in a 9th floor conference room. Out the window, just across the street was the state capitol. A little further in the background was Lake Mendota; a scenic view. I thought I saw Lance on a lawn chair up on the parapet working on his tan most of the afternoon.

Those Wacky Democrats

Donald J. Boudreaux logicates in The Wall Street Journal:

Hillary Clinton is now complaining that her candidacy has been harmed by sexism. Interviewed earlier this week by the Washington Post, Sen. Clinton said the polls show that "more people would be reluctant to vote for a woman [than] to vote for an African American." This gender bias, she grumbled, "rarely gets reported on."[...]

But here's another revelation. If Mrs. Clinton is correct that she is more likely than Barack Obama to defeat John McCain in November, that implies Republicans and independents are less sexist than Democrats.

Yeah, but we are still racist, homophobic, xenophobic bigots. And 3 out of 4 ain't bad.

Barack Black Eagle

Adopted:

CROW AGENCY, Mont. -- Sen. Barack Obama became the first American presidential candidate to visit the reservation of the Crow Nation and in doing so was adopted into the nation under the Crow name "One Who Helps People Throughout the Land."

Vultures are best known for their practice of feeding on dead animal carcasses, but will occasionally attack young and helpless animals as well. They obtain much of their water from the moisture in carrion, and their powerful kidneys enable them to excrete less water when expelling waste products.

Turkey vultures, like other carrion birds, are protected from disease associated with decaying animals by a very sophisticated immune system. Their unfeathered "bald" head is easy to keep clean and is characteristic of vultures and condors throughout the world.1

You've Come a Long Way, Baby

Ye Olde Honda 2 Score and 10


A New Honda Without Kick Start

Theory on Obama Support

Burt Prelutsky:

That’s why it’s so perplexing to see so many Americans supporting this guy. [Obama]

Recently, though, I saw Tiger Woods in a TV commercial. Mr. Woods, who, like Mr. Obama, is of mixed parentage, is tall, thin, has a pleasant smile and speaks well. As if hit by a thunderbolt, it occurred to me that possibly millions of Obama’s fans confuse the world’s worst candidate with the world’s best golfer. I realize that, if taken the wrong way, his disciples could think that I’m out to insult their intelligence. But nothing could be further from the truth. Actually, I believe that confusing the candidate with the golfer is the best, in fact the only, reason I can possibly imagine for supporting Barack Obama this coming November.

I can buy that.

Cold War Redux

Today at 10:30 CST, Manchester United and Chelsea square off in the first all-English European Champions League soccer final.

All-English, indeed. Soccer, ha!

This championship match pits Manchester United owner, Malcolm Glazer from Tampa, Florida (also the owner of the T.B. Buccaneers), against Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich, owner of Chelsea.

We shall dub the contest, 'Manchester United States versus Chelski'. World domination is at stake.

Go, Man-U!

UPDATE: Man-U wins on penalty kicks... USA! USA!

Grandpa Jerry-
Pioneer of American Freedoms

Sometimes true American heroes show their mettle even as children. This was the case with Grandpa Jerry.

Somewhere in the vicinity of 1958, while Jerry was in the fourth grade at Hillcrest Elementary, he observed an injustice. Jerry did not silently sit on the sidelines and quietly shake his head. He stepped up on the playground to address the evil without regard to his own personal safety. He spoke the truth to power and called Carolyn Connell to account for her actions. He called her a n*nc*mp**p.

Grandpa Jerry's heroism came at a price. He was severely punished and is still on probation to this very day.

That which cost little Grandpa Jerry his freedom and social status proved to be the spark that began the raging flame of freedom for the rest of humanity. He changed the world.

In an article today on Townhall.com, Burt Prelutsky states,

In a speech that nincompoops compared favorably to the Gettysburg Address,...

with impunity.

Pioneers like little Grandpa Jerry make the world a better place.

I Wonder

Taking a few snippets out of an article (snippetly) titled A Tale of Two Countries, I began to wonder, 'Which would he be more like?'

Ian Khama, leader of Botswana-

"...Democratic Party..."

"...thus becoming the first half-white leader..."

"The exceptional humility of... politicians is just one positive consequence of such “grassroots democracy.”

"...adopted pro-market policies on a wide front. His new government promised low and stable taxes to mining companies, liberalized trade, increased personal freedoms, and kept marginal income tax rates low to deter tax evasion and corruption.”"

"But why did Khama chose to embrace the free market and limited government at a time when Marxism seemed to be on an unstoppable march...?"

OR

Robert Mugabe, Leader of Zimbabwe-

"...Ian Smith—the last white prime minister of Rhodesia,... answered the summons to meet with Robert Mugabe, the newly-elected prime minister of Zimbabwe... Instead, Smith was greeted with “a warm handshake and a broad smile.” In his own words, Smith was “completely disarmed.”... maybe he had been wrong about Mugabe. “Here’s this chap, and he was speaking like a sophisticated, balanced, sensible man. I thought: if he practices what he preaches, then it will be fine.”"

"...Zimbabwe had an independent judicial system and a constitution that protected minority rights. It also had one of the continent’s largest economies. Zimbabwe seemed destined to become an African success story."

"Things turned out very differently."

"...megalomania grew as time went by."

"...the leaders are so far removed from day-to-day public scrutiny that they behave with impunity and in an embarrassingly rapacious manner."

"...Mugabe turned on his onetime ally Joshua Nkomo... killing some 20,000 in the process."

"...a police state where armed gangs of government supporters harass, beat and kill members of the opposition with utter impunity."

"The ripple effect that farm seizures created turned into a tsunami that, in a few years, washed away some 60 years of gradual economic improvements."

"The Fraser Institute’s 2007 Economic Freedom of the World report, for example, found Zimbabwe to be the least free economy out of the 137 economies surveyed."

Forget the Condom

Get a Hazmat suit.

Doug Giles:

Look, if I were a teenager today I would not be sexually active. The reason being? Well, I’d like to say it would be solely motivated because I was “on fire” for God, but I’d be lying. It would be because I wouldn’t want to be “on fire” with a festering, cauliflowered, pus-laden, reoccurring sore showing up on my wedding tackle for the rest of my life. But that’s just me.

Tenacity

In a few minutes, the 133rd Preakness will begin at Pimlico. Big Brown is the heavy favorite. According to my calculations, a two dollar bet on him would win two dollars and three cents.

The call for 'riders up' has just been issued.

I have it on good authority that Hillary Clinton has predicted a win by Eight Belles who was euthanized after the Kentucky Derby. That girl will just never give up.

UPDATE: Big Brown wins by 2-1/2 miles. He did his end zone dance and drank a six pack before the second place finisher came in. And by the time Tres Borrachos came in, there were cuatro borrachos.

Nuancitation

Most often it requires special skills to decipher the the nuances of meaning in statements made by the erudite. Fortunately for the millions of readers of this blog I have such skills.

I have started reading The Devil's Delusion by David Berlinski. In chapter 3, Berlinski says of another academic,

He is a member in good standing of the worldwide fraternity of academics who are professionally occupied in sniffing the underwear of their colleagues for signs of ideological deviance.

It may be surprising to some that Berlinski is subtly criticizing the other professor.

Thankfully, most of the rest of David Berlinski's critiques are not quite as nuanced.

Whoa!

Australia is known for its many oddities. Beyond that, many of its nonhuman critters are pretty strange, too.



This beast is known euphemistically as the 'Hercules Moth.' The zoologists and entymologists in our secret basement laboratory know it as the 'Aztec Moth.' It is known to carry away very small children. Upon those who are a bit too large to carry off, this insect will tear out the heart while it is still beating and carry it off. Apparently this is what the Aztec is attempting in the above picture.

Eureka!

I suspect that Casual Fridays in our secret basement laboratory are a little different than those in other offices. Lab coats, protective aprons, and all the regular safety gear are still required. (Under the lab coats, however, are subject to speculation.)

Casual Fridays in our lab request that teams of scientists, technicians, cafeteria workers, and janitorial engineers attempt to prove extraordinary theories. The only requirement is the use of a working computer model.

This week's place and show ribbon winners were 'The Moon Really is Made of Green Cheese' and 'Dick Cheney Killed Kennedy.' Congratulations to those teams for compiling reams of data that will automatically place them as nominees for the next Nobel Peace Prize.

The winner of our contest, however, is titled 'No Explanation Necessary.' The following charts conclude the 'research' summary:








Superimpose these charts and you will be stunned. The AlGorophiles are right. The Bushhitleristas... bingo!

In 1945, Hitler married Eva Braun and was a 'lame Kraut.' In 2007, Bush married off his daughter, Jenna, and was a 'lame duck.' In both cases, global warming crises were forestalled.

Computers are a wonderful tool, especially when you keep in mind the old geek adage, "GIGO," Garbage In, Gospel Out.

Coyote Consensus

Mac Johnson parodies global warming experts:

Communities east of Los Angeles have seen a spate of “attacks” by coyotes against children playing menacingly in local parks and yards.[...]

“This is the coyote’s land... “Before the white man stole their natural resources and pitted them against other animals in a colonialist scheme to control nature, coyotes were matriarchical pacifists living ‘off the grid’ in sustainable vegan ecovillages,” he added. “We changed that. The chickens have now come home to roost.”[...]

“Climate Change is driving these animals to act in ways they’ve never acted before. 2007 was one of the three warmest years since 2004. Is it a coincidence that these attacks are now on the upswing?”

“This fits a pattern of other strange natural events that my group, Anecdotes without Borders, has been documenting for years,” said Dreamer-Berkowicz. “Less ice in some places, heavier snowfall in others. Droughts in one year, followed by greater-than-average rains the next. Hurricanes and cyclones are happening annually. Now the coyotes have joined their voices to the chorus of signals that the planet is in peril. Oh, when will we sign Kyoto?”[...]

O’thority had these hints and suggestions for locals...

-“Remember that they are more afraid of you than you are of them. It may seem like they’re chewing on your daughter’s head, but that’s just a fear response.”

-“Remember that the attack is probably your fault. Try to think of what you did to provoke it and apologize before your lips are eaten.”

-“Don’t leave food out or open any windows in your home if it contains food. Also, keep your garbage locked in your car until garbage day. Food and food smells are just one of the many ways we bring these attacks on ourselves.”

-“A recent 3-year, $640,000 study, paid for by the state, indicates that children may be attacked more frequently because they are smaller than adults. If attacked, try to make your child seem as large as possible.”[...]

Earl Armstrong, a local redneck... “Well, people used to shoot ‘em.”... "Basically, people got soft.”

Denier!

If Life Gives You Lemons...

We had a very hard winter and a rainy spring, but...

There's some fungus amongus.

The Morel of the story: Eat your heart out, Grandpa John, AMATEUR mycologist!

McCain v. Obama?

Any questions?

(H.T. Obama Watch.)

Word to the Wise

If The Golden Bear wants to play through, The Golden Bear plays through!

(Photo from Doug Ross.)

Bob Gorrell

I would also be pleased if Mr. Gorrell had used the phrase 'So... where can I find an answer to this current energy crisis?' and used this picture on which to seat the bedraggled Uncle Sam:

(From HowStuffWorks.)

Or the picture of a bedraggled taxpaying voter thinking, "So... what is the proper response to the ever expanding Leftist ideology in Washington?" (Metaphorically, of course!)

(From HowStuffWorks.)

I Believe That Children Are Our Future

Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be.
(written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed)

"Don't trust anyone over 5."

"No prison can hold ME."

"I'm, like, way cool, dude."

"He ain't big enough to make me a Dan'l Boone cap yet?"

"Mmmm... tastes like chicken."

Barack Obama
Uber-Patriot

Many commenters have made quite an issue of Senator Obama's refusal to wear an American flag pin on his lapel. Many seem to feel that Mr. Obama is unpatriotic even though his wife, Michelle, has finally expressed patriotic pride in being an American.

How willfully blind and quick to jump to spinning conclusions. The truth of the matter is that Barack Hussein Obama is an uber-patriot.

Back in 2007, after he realized that 10,000 hard working Americans were killed in Kansas by a global warming induced tornado, Barack decided to make a difference.

The Senator, soon to be President, is hatching a secret plan to help keep the unwashed American masses safe. Although poorly understood in its implementation, he has chosen to annex other parts of the world to increase American standing within the international community.

7 to 10 other nations are in his sights. Although Senator Obama has not specified which nations are soon to be annexed, he was direct in his disclosure. Also shown in this link is the lapel pin that Barack will soon be wearing with American uber-patriotic pride.

Obama's cohort in imperialism, William Ayers, helped plant the seeds for this national defense tactic back in 2001. Mr. Ayers' love of country also has been misrepresented egregiously. He was only performing the funeral for the simple 50 star American flag.

Some in my secret basement laboratory speculate that the nations to be annexed will be nations of color. The Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Obama cabinet member, is expected to head evangelization of them with his people-of-color liberation gospel as they have already been long oppressed by past Amerikkkan foreign policy.

Barack, you da man... wid da plan!

The potatoe lives!

Photo by Andy Green
(Obama is on the left)

Not A Real Cheesehead

Laurel J. Sweet reports in the Boston Herald:

Boston’s once legendary La Cosa Nostra - which for years struck fear in Hub hearts as its hit men painted the town red with blood - sank to a sorry new low yesterday with the Mob’s 400-pound reputed underboss’ pathetic plea for a jail cell with a super-sized toilet.

That bizarre request came to light yesterday amid a hearing in federal court on alleged New England Mafia underboss Carmen “The Cheeseman” DiNunzio.

DiNunzio, whose Fresh Cheese shop made him the Gorgonzola guru of the North End, is awaiting trial on charges he bribed an undercover FBI agent with $10,000 in a feeble attempt to sell $6 million worth of potentially tainted dirt to the Big Dig.

Not a Cheesehead!

Not Gorgonzola!

Phew! Wisconsin just dodged a PR bullet!

We Must Elect Barack Obama
& Save American Lives

Burt Prelutsky has changed my thinking about the 2008 Presidential election. We simply must elect Barack Obama in order to preserve America. Not only will hundreds and thousands be saved from violent death in Iraq, but perhaps millions will be spared here in the United States as well.

In my lifetime, I have been aware of just a few cults that attracted major media attention. Mainly, they garnered a lot of ink because all of their members ended up dead. The first was the one led by Jim Jones down in Jonestown. That was the cult that managed to put Kool Aid on the front page. Next was David Koresh and his gang of wackos down in Waco. Third in line was Heaven’s Gate, as big a flop as the movie of the same name. They were the folks who believed that if they dressed all in white and killed themselves, they’d be collected in a spaceship and be flown off to a better place. And who knows? Maybe they were. At least they saved themselves all that packing and standing in line that I associate with space travel. Still, inasmuch as all of these cultists managed to wind up as dead as doornails, it’s hard to see the attraction. These days, we have the biggest cult yet -- the one led by the great and wonderful wizard of Oz, Barack Obama.

If Barack Obama is not elected this fall I fear that the entire next generation, our most brilliant intellectuals, members of the mainstream media, and our most talented Hollywood actors will either drink the Jim Jones Kool-Aid or flee to Canada. In the first scenario Big Undertakers will control all American culture. In the second, Canada will declare war.

We must elect Barack Obama in 2008.

Somebody did a google search...

...on the term “burri pregnat.” The misspelling is intentional: that's the exact term they searched. Google also supplied hits for "burri pregnant."

Anyway, the search turned up both Grandpa John's and my place.

So. Does anybody have anything they want to tell us?

Ethanol Mandates

I must say that I am quite hopeful about the results of the passage of the ethanol mandates recently. So seldom do Congress' miracle cures prove so disastrous so quickly. Most often, their heroic actions take years or decades to build data that shows their futility. By that time the actions are 'grandfathered' in, so the new corrections are more of the same. The ethanol mandates putrified so quickly that I hope many voters or even politicians may more clearly see the futility of Congressional attempts to play god.

On the other hand, this corn ethanol debacle will be blamed for the food shortages and unrest in other parts of the world. This spin will be used to again make America the bad guy oppressor in international affairs. However, the facts should point to the regimes in those countries themselves whose policies are stifling their own productivity.

No Kidding

(From Reliapundit.)

Commencement Advice

P.J. O'Rourke gives some politically incorrect advice to this year's college graduates. Here is one bit that caught my eye:

4. Forget about fairness...

I've got a 10-year-old at home. She's always saying, "That's not fair." When she says this, I say, "Honey, you're cute. That's not fair. Your family is pretty well off. That's not fair. You were born in America. That's not fair. Darling, you had better pray to God that things don't start getting fair for you."

Well said!

Democrat Horse Race

The running of the 134th Kentucky Derby took place yesterday. What I found most interesting were the side bets. Hillary Clinton picked the only filly in the race, Eight Belles, to win.

Tragically, Eight Belles, after finishing second, broke both ankles and had to be euthanized.

Barack Obama picked Colonel John to win, Pyro to place, and Big Brown to show. Of course, Big Brown won while his other picks finished 6th and 8th.

Some consultants in the Hillary camp are expected to blame Bush and sexist American society, while Barack is expected to disavow his relationship to Colonel John and Pyro.

Gamblers Palace has no live lines on the Democrat primary.

Pop Wisdom

Heard on a Rockford radio station this past week:

The early bird gets the worm, but it's the SECOND mouse that gets the cheese.

Organic Robots

Selwyn Duke in Psychology: The Hard Truth about a Soft Science:

[...]As to this, I recently read about psychiatrists who are labeling the desire to engage in excessive text messaging a mental disorder. Then there is "Muscle Dysmorphia," or the obsessive belief that one isn't muscular enough; "celebriphilia," the strong desire for amorous relations with a celebrity; "Intermittent Explosive Disorder," or road rage; "Sibling Rivalry Disorder"; "Mathematics Disorder"; "Caffeine Related Disorder"; and "Expressive Writing disorder," to cite just a handful of the hundreds of made-up conditions in the DSM. And every time a new variety is conjured up, psychology's market and earning potential increases. I have to wonder, though, what do they call the obsession with labeling behaviors mental disorders? Some might call it greed.

Yet, as ridiculous as this seems, it's also very consistent and understandable. Whether a religionist or atheist, one can't help but notice that these organic robots don't operate the way most of us would like. The Christian explanation for this is that we're all sinners, but this is religious terminology and quite inappropriate for a machine. So psychology says we're all mentally ill; it's just a malfunction in the CPU, you see. Then, because a machine cannot commit sins but can be "out of order," it calls them disorders. Thus, a defiant child or employee isn't ruled by pride but has "Oppositional Disorder," a person with a lack of gratitude isn't just that but one who suffers from "Chronic Complaint Disorder," and a man who is shallow and vain isn't just that but one plagued by "Muscle Dysmorphia." So there is a limit to the number of disorders that can be "invented," and it's roughly equivalent to the numbers of ways in which people can sin.[...]

I've known several people that suffered from what I called 'Intermittent Explosive Disorder.' That, however, was most often successfully treated with a change of diet and gastro-intestinal medication.

(H.T. Mindful Hack.)

PEW
Research Center

Registered voters were polled on the ideological placement of the 3 candidates and President Bush:



Seems about right.

The Work of Outside Agitators

I expect that at least a few members of the Badger Blog Alliance are behind this:

SAN JOSE (AP) ― About four dozen Republican college students are raising their voices in protest over an issue near and dear to them: a new proposed tax on beer.

Assemblyman Jim Beall, D-San Jose, has proposed a tax on beer makers that would add almost $2 to the price of a six pack to help eliminate the state's budget deficit.[...]

Other students protested outside of Beall's office waving signs that read "No Taxation on Intoxication!"

Lance, Jib, and tee bee are surely involved, but I'm not sure which of the rest have agitated these young 'skulls-full-of-mush.'

Please note that no beer was thrown off beer trucks into water sources other than that filtered through the kidneys first.

Heretic! Denier!

Dr. Roy W. Spencer, a Principal Research Scientist at the University of Alabama in Huntsville, opines:

The view that nature was in some sort of preferred, yet fragile, state of balance before humans came along is arbitrary and philosophical — even religious. It is entirely possible that there are other, more preferable states of balance in nature which are more robust and less fragile than whatever the state of nature was before we came along.

You would think that science is the last place you would find such religious opinions, yet they dominate the worldview of scientists. Natural scientists tend to worship nature, and they then teach others to worship nature, too . . . all under the guise of “science.”

And to the extent that this view is religious, then making environmental laws based upon that view could be considered a violation of the establishment of religion clause of the First Amendment to the Constitution.

Why cumbereth he Gaia's Holy Ground?

And a great big Aloha to you, too!

A group of native Hawaiians occupied the grounds of the old Hawaiian monarchy's royal residence Wednesday, vowing to stay and do the business of the kingdom's government.

…The group is one of several in Hawaii that reject statehood and seek to return to the constitutional monarchy that effectively ended in 1893 when a group of politicians, businessmen and sugar planters -- aided by the U.S. minister to Hawaii -- overthrew the kingdom's government.

When I lived in Hawaii, there were several groups like that – some of them led by people who claimed to be the heirs to the Hawaiian throne.

The U.S. annexed Hawaii in 1898. It became a state in 1959.

Thing is, King Kamehameha (the most famous Hawaiian monarch) first became King by unifying all the islands, which he did through conquest. In one case, according to legend, he conquered a rival tribe by driving its warriors off a cliff.

So these people who want to "right the wrong" of the U.S. annexation are trying to re-create a kingdom formed by military conquest. Or...are they going to acknowledge the independence of each individual island?

The Patriotic UW-Madison

On this day in Wisconsin history:

1941 - Military Training at UW-Madison
On this date, Governor Julius Heil signed a bill calling for compulsory military training for all able-bodied male students during their first two years of study at UW-Madison. Throughout WWII, the College of Engineering and other departments trained 100 Navy officers in diesel engineering, 200 mechanics and 600 meteorologists for the Army Air Forces, 800 Navy aviation cadets, engineers and Marine glider pilots, and 600 civilian pilots. [Source: College of Engineering, UW-Madison]

Heh!