The MSM

Here's an accumulation of newspaper articles and ads.

One example:

Must be Lance Python's Flying Circus World Museum in Baraboo.


Yep... Al Gore's visiting Baraboo.

Joys of Grandpahood

One of the great pleasures of being a grandpa is have a grandchild crawl up on my lap and listen to and learn some of the old nursery rhymes that I learned as a child. We even put some to song.

Here are some of my favorites:

Constie Twoshun formed a great wall
Constie Twoshun had a great fall
All the Lefty judges and all the Liberal men
Didn't want Constie put together again.


Barack and Hill
Went through the mill
To get the nomination.
Hill fell down
And broke her crown
Leaving only Obamanation.


Baa, baa, black sheep
Have you pulled any wool?
Yo, yo, home boy,
Three bags full;
One for the voters
And one for that dame
And one for the taxpayers
Americans living in shame.


Barack be nimble
Barack be quick
Barack jumped over
Hillary's schtick.

Barack jumped high
Barack ducked low
Barack tossed grandma
'neath the bus for show.


Barry, Barry quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With hopeful change and lack of brains
And all those freakin' weeds.


Tax-a-cake, tax-a-cake, Democrat man
Raise my taxes as fast as you can.
Take it and spend it and earmark it with a 'B'
And put it in pockets for supporters and thee.


Ring around the rosies
A pocket full of posies
Taxes, taxes
We all fall down!


John, John the Democrat one
Stole your cash and away did run.
The cash was eat
And John was beat
And John was swiftboated
Down the street.


Eency, weencey Al Gore
Whose mouth began to spout.
Down came the vote
And washed poor Al Gore out.
Out came the sun
And dried up all that was sane.
So Eencey Weencey Al Gore
Began to spout again.

I know some of the lyrics are not those of the original, but some of the language had to be modernized to keep the correct meaning.

AH-OOOOGA...AH-OOOOGA
Dive! Dive! Man Your Lawyers
The Jig is Up
Canada Is Onto Us

There is even a Wanted Poster compliments of Toronto based journalist and author, Denyse O'Leary.

Excerpts:

I am completely envious and I, like, totally admit it.[...]

I can only get over this fit of envy by writing another book.[...]

The excellent Burris, pictured above, maybe don't.[...]

...and don't blame me if you are one Offended bunny...

Offended bunnies in Canada throw around a lot of weight.

You guys don't mind going down for a righteous cause, do you? Hey, maybe we will get to meet Mark Steyn.

The Perils of An Intra-divisional Funeral

My brothers and I buried our last uncle today in Illinois. Uncle Emil would have turned 90 this year. Emil was a good man, but he had one controversial eccentricity. Uncle Emil was a Cubs fan AND a Packer fan.

The service went well, but the Burri family is not one to refuse an opportunity to create chaos from serenity. At the gravesite, the minister, a pastor of a local United Church of Christ, said a few words. Cousin Pat then shared a few stories about her dad. Uncle Emil was a railroad man and worked checking and keeping the track in safe order. He would travel the track on one of those small vehicles. In one certain area he would always be attacked by a suicide pheasant. Pat told us that he purposed to carry a baseball bat to shoot that kamikazant down. One pall-bearer popped up at that point and exclaimed that since Emil was a Cubs fan, he would have swung three times and missed.

And the melee was on. As Jerry, Jim, and I ducked behind a large tombstone where Jim pulled out a brandy filled hip flask, we heard someone accuse the United Church of Christ pastor of being somehow related to the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. As I peaked around the stone, I witnessed Grandpa John grab an old lady Republican and Cub fan in a head lock and perfom a few knots on her head while screaming something about 'hope and change.'

Jerry bravely raced into the mob and grabbed Cheryl, pulling her off of a Cubs fan while Jim and I got our car. Jerry and Cheryl piled in through the windows of the moving vehicle. Cheryl still had fistfuls of gray hair entangled in her fingers. We fled for the Wisconsin border just a few miles away.

Just another usual Burri family gathering.

Janesville's New Look

The children are suffering. Won't you (sob) please give now? (sob) Send your checks to Grandpa Steve.

Grandbaby Update

Cole


Lounging in the hammock


Morgan with her 'Bill Clinton' lip bite


"Grandpa Steve is the bestest!"


Morgan is going to have a new baby brother or sister!
Computer generated probable appearance


Computer savvy

That Stringy Multiverse Thingy

.
The scientists and researchers employed in my secret basement laboratory are quite an ecclectic bunch. We have staff that wash their hands and brush their teeth after every thought as well as those whose superstitions will not allow them to change their underwear until the completion of their research project. We have committed Christians as well as atheists who should be committed. We have cool, but mostly we have nerd. One biochemist's 5 year old was visiting and after talking to several researchers said to her dad, "Daddy, these guys make even Todd and Lance seem cool." Her dad just shook his head and said, "Sweetie, you have never met Todd or Lance, have you?" That little girl has the cutest giggle.

Perhaps the most unusual character in our lab is Alfred the Atheist, one of our physicists. He's a Landscaper of the String Theory clan. Alfred is always spewing equations about which no one else has a clue. Nobody is ever sure if he really knows what he is talking about. Our only evidence on these matters occurs when he does calculations on his super computer. Often after a result is obtained, his computer smacks itself on its monitor with its own mouse and exclaims, "Boo-yah! My hard drive just had an orgasm!" Then it has a smoke.

Alfred has long been determined to calculate and describe the nature of other universes in the Landscape. (Some say that he hasn't changed underwear in 3 years; others claim he goes 'commando.') He declares that he wants to prove beyond all question that God doesn't exist. His computer now has a 2 pack-a-day habit.

Alfred was convinced that he had chosen the proper mathematical parameters to obtain accurate predictions of the nature of two other universes. For several days he was submerged in his cubicle with smoke billowing a carbon dioxide footprint nearly the size of Al Gore's. There were shrieks of 'Eureka', 'Aha', and 'Yesss!' with regularity. Some thought Frankenstein would emerge from that cubicle, but others figured Alfred was just watching internet porn.

Last Friday, while I was in my office working on computations after compiling data... OK, while playing computer solitaire... Alfred barged in, pale and shaking, and plopped like a corpse on my sofa. I watched as he sat there in silence for several minutes. He would occasionally shake his head and cradle his head in his hands as he slowly contorted into a fetal position. It was unusual, even for Alfred. I decided not to dial 911 since he was not bleeding and would occasionally breathe.

After about 30 minutes of this, which reminded me of many Liberals I know after each of W's elections, Alfred looked at me and stated meekly, "I have completed my research."

"And?"

"My formulations have described 2 alternate universes as well the founding principle for both them and ours."

"And?" (I have always had a gift when it comes to intelligent dialogue.)

"I have calculated that one universe can be accurately described as an arid inferno, with humanoid entities of the gnashing teeth variety. There also prove to be a plethora of immortal worm-like creatures. Everywhere there is the sound of wailing... baleful wailing."

"The formulation of the other universe in the Landscape proves to also inhabited by humanoid entities and others. Here there is no wailing or grief, but joy and worship alone. All indications are those of bliss."

"The founding principle?"

"God is pulling all the strings."

"Can I go to church with you this Sunday?"

"Of course, but please change your underwear."

(I greatly appreciate the write ups and links from Post-Darwinist, Colliding Universes, Uncommon Descent, and The Carnival of the Insanities. Special thanks to Denyse O'Leary from Toronto, co-author of The Spiritual Brain: A Neuroscientist's Case for the Existence of the Soul.)

(Extra special thanks to the R.C.M.P. for not yet 'getting your man.')

Levees Fail
Old Rug in Danger

No one ever accused Grandpa Jerry of being a civil engineer or an anchor-clanking, swabbing squid Seabee a la John Wayne. His sand-bagging expertise is of a different sort.




Jerry and Cheryl have so far been quite fortunate. They are one of the few houses in the area that has not experienced some flooding, great or small. It's gonna be close, but I suspect they will escape damage. Their house is over 300 feet from the shoreline of this 10,500 acre lake.

Jerry: Remember to remove the sandbags as the water recedes to let it return to Lake Koshkonong.

Craig and Parker grads on Last Comic Standing

JANESVILLE — First we learned Janesville no longer will be an auto town, and hundreds of our friends will lose their jobs.

Then, before we were ready to move on, Lake Koshkonong ended up on Main Street.
Janesville could use a laugh.

Consider it done.

Two Janesville natives — one from Parker and one from Craig — have made it to the semi-finals on NBC's "Last Comic Standing."

Parker's Andria Smith and Craig's Pete Lee will move on to Las Vegas next week to battle it out with comedians from around the world for the $250,000 prize and the bonus of getting face time on national television.

Well, I think they've got a great chance. I happen to know some Craig and Parker grads, and I'll tell you what, I can never stop laughing any time I see them.

Or even think of them.

The Inquisition

Ann Coulter:

It's only a matter of time before the Supreme Court steps in to overrule Randy, Paula and Simon.

If you don't know who Coulter is referring to in 'Randy, Paula, and Simon,' I applaud you. You have a life.

Koshkonong Attacks

All Is NOT Quiet on the Eastern Front


The Neighbors Have Been Overrun


The Canadian Tourist is Oblivious to the Stalking 'Gator


Just Thought This One Fit

Grandpa Jerry is running a Chevy powered 454 C.I. sump pump. He estimates that he is getting 46 gallons per gallon.

Koshkonong Omen

There are many people who believe that animals can sense impending catastrophe. Following is a picture of a female common snapping turtle from the northwest shore of Lake Koskonong. This little girl scaled Grandpa Jerry's two-story house and dug through the roofing shingles to lay her eggs:

(Photo by Grandpa Jerry)

Jerry has also found two chipmunks, two toads, and a couple of hippies stowed away on his boat. Grandma Cheryl made little life vests for the chipmunks and toads, but shooed the hippies away with a broom. The chipmunks were complaining of the smell.

Oh, oh... It's starting to rain again.

Obama Unplugged

Dan Quayle is still right.

Show the Clip

A couple of clips:

Cal Thomas:

In countries with far less capital and opportunity than America, people haven't sung songs about overcoming. They have overcome through tenacity, risk-taking and self-reliance.

Thomas Sowell:

What has been widely publicized in the media is that suicides among American troops have gone up. What has not been widely publicized is that this higher suicide rate is still not as high as the suicide rate among demographically comparable civilians.

Rich Lowry:

One of the principal investigators of the Canadian Human Rights Commission was asked in a hearing what value he puts on freedom of speech in his work, and replied, "Freedom of speech is an American concept, so I don't give it any value."

Renewable Energy

Burt Prelutsky:

[...]You see nincompoops like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and John Murtha, bloviating on TV and you realize that when poll after poll indicates that these political hacks have an approval rate only half as high as George Bush’s and only a point or two higher than measles,[...]

...if only someone could figure out how to replace fossil fuels with hot air and snake oil.

The Older I Get
The Smarter My Parents Got

Ben Stein writes in the New York Times:

[...]I think of our children in school.

I picture our kids bravely taking moral stands on global warming and the polar bears, refusing to “sell out,” get a job or learn anything useful. I think of what I could write to them about their parents’ work. I would start with a short phrase from Hart Crane, the genius poet.

“O, brilliant kids, I was a fool just like you. I was in my mid-40s before I properly thanked my father for his decades of hard work — paying for me to laze around in the cars he bought me, to get drunk in the frat house whose dues he paid, to spend the afternoons with my girlfriends looking at trees and rivers while Pop worked and got so anxious that he took up smoking three packs of Kents a day.

“O, brilliant kids, you get to put on the garments of the morally righteous and upstanding while your parents work — because mothers work now and always have worked — and your parents must say, ‘Yes, sir,’ or ‘No, sir,’ to those who hire them. O, golden children, you get to talk about how you’ll never ‘sell out,’ and meanwhile your parents stay up late in torment, thinking of how they can pay your tuition. Because, brilliant kids, work (business) involves exhaustion and eating humble pie and going on even when you think you can’t. And you are the beneficiaries of it in your gilded youth.

“Be smarter than Ben Stein ever was. Be a better person than I ever was. Right now, today, thank your parents for working to support you. Don’t act as if it’s the divine right of students. Get right up in their faces and say, ‘Thank you for what you do so I can live like this.’ Say something. Say it, so that when they’re at O’Hare or Dallas-Fort Worth and they’ve just learned that their flight is canceled and they’ll have to stay overnight at the airport, they will know you appreciate them.

“Get it in your heads that if you throw away your moral duties to your parents, you are thieves. You were born on third base and your parents put you there, and you think you hit a triple. It’s not true. It’s time to give back.

“ `Attention must be paid,’ as Arthur Miller said. So start now, and make it a habit to be grateful to your parents. Say you’re grateful and mean it. Do it now, however young or old you are. Do it on Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, every day.”[...]

War...Hoohh...What Is It Good For?
Absolutely Nuthin'...

(H.T. TigerHawk.)

Two Odd Coincidences

1.) Back in February, Presidential hopeful Barack Obama visited the G.M. plant in Janesville, Wisconsin:


Today, it was announced that G.M. will close the Janesville plant by 2010. At that time, the plant will have been operating in Janesville for 91 years and, at its height, employed 7,000 people.

Coincidence?

2.) Former subordinate McClellan disses the President. The President is "nothing more than a well-meaning baboon", a "gorilla", and "ever unworthy of ... his high position."

McClellan openly declared his entrance to the political stage as a Democrat.

Few much remember General George B. McClellan, but Abraham Lincoln is remembered as an American hero.

Coincidence?

Obama Would Like This One

Don Surber passes along a West Virginia joke:

The producers of the hit show CSI-Miami were thinking about broadening their appeal by spinning off a new show called CSI-West Virginia. But further investigation found that there were two insurmountable problems:

1) All the DNA was the same
2) There were no dental records

A good one!

I Just Find This Interesting

Richard Alleyne reports in the Telegraph.co.uk:

Britain's traditional stiff upper lip may be a better strategy for dealing with shock than letting your feelings spill out, a new study claims.

The popular assumption is that talking about a terrifying experience, such as a terrorist attack or natural disaster, can be therapeutic and helpful.

But new evidence suggests "getting it off your chest" may not be the right thing to do. [...]

Those who chose to express their thoughts and feelings were compared with those who did not over a two-year period.

To their surprise, individuals who bottled up their feelings ended up better off. They suffered fewer negative mental and physical health symptoms than people who were willing to talk.[...]

Pop psychology takes a hit and I bet they won't take it with a stiff upper lip.

IN ADDITION: Dr. John Ray has a June 2nd post that not only indicts much 'scientific' research in psychology, but also climate change and medicine.

But the corruption in science is not random. It has a direction. Scientists tend to be pretty pleased with thermselves. They see themselves as an elite who are entitled to tell others what to do. And their conclusions in their research -- particularly in medical research and climate research -- tend to be highly prescriptive. They are constantly saying what people SHOULD do with their lives, diet etc. Sadly for them, however, most people dislike being told what to do by others and ignore the many prescriptions hurled at them.

So scientists make common cause with those people in society who want to FORCE people to do their bidding. That very often means that they become Leftists. And the direction in which scientific beliefs tend is almost invariably Leftist in some way. Leftists don't care very much about evidence nor do most scientists. What they care about is changing the behaviour of other people -- and lies and deception in that cause are just fine.