Stockholm Syndrome

Gary Wolf makes and interesting observation in Freud Meets Obama posted in AWOL Civilization:

It may very well turn out that the revelations concerning the Rev. Wright and other GDA [God Damn America] preachers are advantageous to Mr. Obama because it throws salt on the wounds of white guilt. Certainly, it may alienate many, but for the faithful it deepens the emotional bond between abuser and abused. This is critical for any such relationship: There must be no doubt as to the sincerity and perseverance of the abuser.

Nerd Alert!
A-Ooo-Gah...A-Ooo-Gah!

It's just easier to say than, "Todd and Lance Alert."

Meanwhile, Back in the Old Country...

John Fund is Cuckoo for Switzerland.

[...]Just a century ago, Switzerland was much poorer than Argentina.[...]

[...]In reality, the Swiss have produced a remarkable success story that goes far beyond the signature tourist products they are known for: chocolates, watches, and knives. They have one of the world’s most stable economies, a skilled workforce, internationally recognized export companies, a sound currency, and renowned banking and financial services. All this is combined with remarkable social harmony, given that Switzerland has four national languages and great religious diversity.

The nation also has a high degree of personal freedom, linked to a decentralized government in which voters are the ultimate sovereign through an elaborate system of direct democracy—citizens can both propose their own laws and challenge any action of the government. As a matter of fact, Swiss citizens may advance new legislation or “initiatives,” which must be put to a nationwide vote if their proponents can round up 100,000 signatures in support of the legislation. By means of referendum, the Swiss can also challenge a piece of legislation already approved by the federal parliament.[...]

In 2005, The Economist Intelligence Unit ranked the “quality of life” in 111 countries and found Switzerland a stellar achiever in the nine factors of its index: material well-being, health, political stability, both family and community life, climate, job security, political freedom, and gender equality. Indeed, when ranking “human misery” among all countries, Switzerland ranked at the very bottom.[...]

Most Swiss do not speak in such ideological terms. “We tend not to make grand speeches; instead, we foster the stability that businesses crave and seek,” says F. X. Perroud, a senior adviser to Nestlé, the food conglomerate.[...]

“The lessons that the Swiss have held close to their heart are simple,” says Perroud. “One, there is no such thing as a miracle or a free lunch—everything has to be earned, so there is a strong work ethic. Two, we put as much responsibility as possible where people are in control. In small towns, even teachers used to be elected until recently. Everything is highly transparent, so it is difficult for anyone to accumulate too much power.”

Our part of the Burri family left Switzerland about 100 years ago. Switzerland realized its mistake and undertook massive reforms to prevent further duplication of such egregious misfortune. The Old Country has done well.

Trying My Hand at Spin

Senator Hillary Clinton has taken a lot of flak for her false claims concerning her 1996 Bosnia trip. She claimed the plane that she was on had to maneuver a corkscrew landing while under sniper fire and that she and the other passengers disembarked with heads low and quickly scrambled to safety.

The only problem was that it didn't happen. Therefore, her trustworthiness has taken a serious hit.

I claim the contrary; that this non-incident makes her appear Presidential. When, during her Bosnia visit, the scuttlebutt came down of the mere potential of sniper fire, Presidential Clinton swung into leadership mode. Her concern was not for herself, but for America's children (Chelsea was aboard), Minority Americans (Sinbad was on the flight), the American middle class (news and camera crew), and America's heroic military (pilots and crew). Her only concern was for them. When speaking erroneously about the actualities, she automatically reverts back to that 'leadership' mode of concern for all things American.

Who could fault Hillary for these things?

The Real Mack Daddy

Obama isn't the only one who is flaunting 54D's to propel his campaign:



(H.T. Meghan McCain.)

Big Tent Democrats

This photograph, taken with special lens political filters, shows the inner workings of the Democrat 'Big Tent':

(Photo from Wikipedia)
This photo clearly demonstrates two Democrat realities:

-The 'Big Tent' is actually a fractured set of special interests and victims. There's Hillary's tent over there. (Bill sleeps in a separate tent.) That's Barack's tent yonder. I believe Mike Gravel is taking his tent and going home. Eliot Spitzer is in the Emperor's Club tent. Kwame Kilpatrick's wife threw him out of his tent. Indeed, it takes such a village.

-Democrat socialist policies will endow us with a similar diverse economic and cultural landscape. In the forefront is the Universal Health Care tent. That tent is the Al Gore Prizes and Awards Museum. The carbon foot print here is very small and they are no longer dependent of foreign oil.

You can see that true equality has finally been achieved; the American Dream.

The Big Tent in Denver, 2008?
Photo from Peace Corps Online)

BHO: "I will lead America into unity. I can't do it at the convention 'cause they are 'typical Democrat people.'"

25 Years of Progress(ivism)

An endangered butterfly flaps its wings in a Southeast Asian jungle and Wisconsin is bracing for another spring snowstorm.
It was late March, 1983. Little Billy intently eye-balled the contents of the candy machine. He quickly spotted the Schnook'ums Bar of which he long lusted. He reached into his pocket only to discover that he was a quarter short of the amount required. Little Billy screamed, he pounded and shook the machine, he fell on the floor and flailed uncontrollably letting out the wailing cry of grief.

Nearby, a progressive activist viewed the scene. With compassion, he went up and talked to the distraught boy. He scheduled a press conference.

At the press conference, the activist paraded Little Billy before the liberal press and let him tell his story. The activist then took the microphone and began to rail against the evils of capitalist America. Its greed and selfishness were oppressing all the Little Billies in the world.

The traction gained through this press conference spread like wild fire throughout the American cultural and political landscape. Promises were made, legislation proposed, and pork was corn fed. (Teddy K. distilled his first.) The case of poor Little Billy of Trailerpark Falls was now indelibly ingrained in the American political scene.

25 years have now passed, but not idly. Little Billy's cause was not forgotten. More speeches were made, press conferences were given, studies were undertaken, and books were written. Threats were implied, Congressmen were lobbied, legislation was passed, bureaucracies were formed, and 587 billion dollars were spent.

The victory for humanity had finally been achieved. A low level bureaucrat finally located Little Billy and presented him with a shiny new quarter! At last, Little Billy was fulfilled.

Little Billy inwardly eye-balled the contents of his dreams. He quickly spotted the Schnook'ums Bar of which he long lusted. He walked inside and reached into his pocket only to discover that he was a quarter short of the amount required to buy the house specialty liquor. Little Billy screamed, he pounded and shook the bar, he fell on the floor and flailed uncontrollably letting out the wailing cry of grief.

Nearby, an activist bouncer viewed the scene. With compassion, he went up and talked to the distraught Billy. He scheduled an immediate curb conference for Little Billy.

Meanwhile, back in Washington, there were handshakes, hugs, and pats on the back for all. "We have made a difference," they said. "It's for the children!" There were photo-ops all around.

Meanwhile, again back in Trailerpark Falls, Little Billy had a photo-op of his own... at the Trailerpark Falls County Intake/Booking Photography Studio.

Serious Protesters

Catholic Schoolgirls Against the War


I didn't attend Catholic schools, but I dare say that no amount of sexy Catholic school uniforms could gussie these twits into visual acceptability.

I can hear the Nuns now, "Just give me 5 minutes alone in a locked room with these girls and they'll be singing soprano in the choir!"

The Cornerstone

'Hope', 'Change', 'Yes, we can!' This aspect of Barack Obama's campaign depicts a foundation stone for the Democrats/Liberals/Progressives. David Stove, the late Australian philosopher, plumbed the depths of this philosophy back in January, 1988, in Commentary magazine:

They just thought, like [Bertrand] Russell, that it would be much nicer if everything were much nicer, and there is nothing, after all, to stop us making everything much nicer, since all that is needed is for all to be much nicer, more reasonable, kinder, etc.

After decades of little success through education and legislation directed toward the fulfillment of these principles, there are many who would suggest a more tried and true method; the guillotine.

(H.T. Keith Burgess-Jackson.)

Nobel Prize? Ptui!

After a recent spat in his comment section concerning the NCAA selection committee's choice to include his alma mater Arizona, Dr. Keith Burgess-Jackson stated,

You’re a Cheesehead, Steve. That’s all you’ve ever been; that’s all you are; and that’s all you’ll ever be.

Can I help it if I am the winner in life's lottery?

Happy Holidays!

At the end of December we Christians practice diversity by encouraging a moment of silent prayer for those who faithfully practice the ancient religion of Festivus.

Pictured here is Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle at the Wisconsin State House Festivus celebration sponsored by The Freedom from Religion Foundation. Governor Doyle has just completed a 3 hour "Airing of Grievances" ritual and is preparing for the "Feats of Strength" contest against Peg Lautenschlager. (Doyle was pinned and so the Festivus celebration was completed.)

(Many claim that Governor Doyle is anti-Wisconsin business, but the Festivus Pole pictured was manufactured in Milwaukee.)
(Photo by Festivuspoles.com.)

Now, during our Easter season, we recognize that there are those who worship at a different altar.

The Debate: "It Is Finished."(From The Cutting Edge.)

Our remembrance was brought to bear as we prepared for and initiated our Easter egg hunt for the grandbabies. Under the auspices of the climate change crisis we adapted well. First, we did not hard boil the eggs, knowing that global warming would take care of that for us. Second, we did not color the eggs, knowing that the white eggs would be well hidden in plain sight on our lawn by its volcanic ash covering.

The kids had a great time finding the hidden prizes which, indeed, were hard boiled when found. But when Colie accidentally dropped one on the kitchen floor, we discovered that it was actually frozen. Go figure. That global warming stuff is tricky business.

The Christmas celebration together with the Easter celebration result in a daily Thanksgiving celebration.

It's Science

Science has recently solved another mystery. The debate is over:

Until very recently, it was a mystery to evolutionary psychology why men prefer women with large breasts, since the size of a woman's breasts has no relationship to her ability to lactate. But Harvard anthropologist Frank Marlowe contends that larger, and hence heavier, breasts sag more conspicuously with age than do smaller breasts. Thus they make it easier for men to judge a woman's age (and her reproductive value) by sight—suggesting why men find women with large breasts more attractive.

This proven fact also enlightens my understanding of the Liberals' push for universal health care and the motivations that propel them. Hillary understands this as crisis of female equality. She desires all females to be created equal. Barack sees this as a crisis of our nation's ecology. He wants to ogle the scenery.

Science and politics; a winning combination.

Pumped 'im Full of Donut Holes

There are just some crimes that are too dumb to fathom:

[...]The van, owned by Donut Delite of Moline, Ill., was stolen early Thursday while the driver was making deliveries at a hospital in nearby Rock Island. The driver had left the van running, and a man jumped in and headed for Iowa, just over the Mississippi River.

A bevy of officers chased a doughnut delivery van at speeds up to 100 mph before arresting the driver at gunpoint, authorities said.[...]

The thief probably realized the magnitude of his mistake after hearing the S.W.A.T. bullhorns and experiencing a massive artillery shelling. The shelling ceased after someone screamed, "Don't shoot, shrapnel in creme filling hurts my teeth and gums!"

The criminal was heard to comment during his arrest, "Geez, if Osama Bin Laden had stolen a donut, he'd have been caught long ago."

The fiend, Frank Alvarado, whose political affiliations were unidentified, survived the morning of terror. Several police officers applied for emotional and psychological counseling.

Did you guys fill out brackets?

How are yours doing? On one of mine, I went 25-7 in the first round and lost one Sweet 16 team. Picked both Siena and Villanova.

On the other one, I went 24-8 and lost two Sweet 16 teams. Didn't pick Villanova in that one.

All mostly luck, natch. My research consisted of a half-hour's reading Wednesday morning.

Mischief

I have made the decision to join the great bumper sticker war. My opinions must be heard.

I recently have placed an order with a local printer to have two bumper stickers produced. Any time I visit Madison, I will be well armed to join the fray. Whenever I spot a parked car sporting the usual Leftist slogans, I intend to surreptitiously add my two cents to the debate. Along with the "Defoliate Bush" and "Amerikkka" type of statements I will add "Yes, I'm an Idiot" and "Stuck on Stupid" to the mix.

I don't expect that these stickers will be quickly noticed among the statement quagmire, but I will be entertained for days.

Decision: 2008

The blood soaked Democrat primary has run its course. The Denver Democrat convention has come and gone. The casualties are piling up. Still there is no Democrat selected to oppose Republican John McCain in the November Presidential election.

Each state's Supreme Court has weighed in on the process. With 50% of the justices ruling for Hillary and 50% ruling for Barack, no nominee could be chosen.

Some pundits had suggested an appeal to the United States Supreme Court, but this has been rejected by the Democrats who retain a bad taste in their mouths from the fixed 2000 election. Hillary complained that there were no women on the Court and Barack that there were no Blacks. When it was explained that Ginsburg was a woman and that Thomas was Black, both candidates proclaimed that this election is not about gender or race. (Clinton was heard to whisper, "Bader Ginsburg's a woman?" Obama stated that Uncle Thomas wasn't genuinely Black.)

The selection dilemma has been solved. The Democrats have unanimously agreed to take the problem to the United Nations Human Rights Council and will abide by their wise decision.

"We will get justice from Angola and Egypt. That's for sure. And our stature among the international community will be restored as well."

Thanks to Grandpa John and Grandma Kirstin...

...we are now the proud owners of a Nintendo Wii.

I’m really enjoying it. Particularly the golf game.

One thing I find funny: the controllers are wrapped in rubber sheathes, to protect them from being accidentally flung across the room and smashed against the wall. Each one also has a wrist strap, for the same reason.

You can’t play this thing without clicking through at least one, usually two warnings to use the wrist strap, you sweaty-handed moron!

We are that serious about holding onto a game controller, but a group of people as knowledgeable, wise, and powerful as the Jedi Council can’t figure out that their people could keep from being so frequently disarmed if they’d just do the same with their lightsabers.

Two Points of View

We journalists here at Burri News Central realize that every news story has alternate points of view from which to draw meaningful conclusions. A skilled journalist must explore all points of view to give the reading public something as close to the true story as can be expected.

Today's installment explores the state of New York State's upper echelon of politics. As the reader is undoubtedly aware, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer recently resigned after his dalliances with prostitutes came to light. Shortly afterwards, Lieutenant Governor David Paterson revealed several extra-marital affairs within the past decade.

We sought out the points of view of two well-known Americans concerning these developments to see if we could draw a intelligent conclusion about these situations.

Our first interview was with Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama's long time pastor:

The stories of Governor Spitzer and Lt. Governor David Paterson are perfect examples to illustrate the state of White U.S.K.K.K.A of which I have long preached. In this, you have the rich, White Governor of the state of New York who pays thousands of dollars per hour to boink a prostitute in a hotel like this:

(The Renaissance Mayflower Hotel in Washington, D.C.)
By contrast, Lieutenant Governor, David Paterson, who is Black, was forced to settle for freebies from anyone who would comply. Mr. Paterson, who is Black, had to pursue his fulfillment in a motel that looked like this:

(Days Inn Motel, New York City)
Certainly even racist White America must blush at this inequality.

Our second interview concerning this issue was with the white hooded Exalted Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan:

The real gold nugget of truth among these stories does not at all deal with the sites of these extra-marital affairs, but with the outcomes. The White governor was forced to resign in disgrace and is still under investigation. The offending Black Lieutenant Governor was promoted to Governor of the State of New York.

We also have obtained unconfirmed reports that one of Paterson's affairs was with Obama's grandmother, vindicating her from the charge of being a typical White woman.

So in giving all viewpoints a fair hearing, the editorial board of Burri News Central has rarified two well-informed, erudite, and incontrovertible conclusions concerning this matter:

1) We interviewed a couple of classic idiots for this piece.

2) The state government of New York really sucks.

That's the way it was. Good night and good luck!

Laws and Orders

Bruce Walker illustrates a point to ponder at American Thinker:

The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers' Party. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are lawyers. Bill Clinton and Michelle Obama are lawyers. John Edwards, the other former Democrat candidate for president, is a lawyer and so is his wife Elizabeth. Every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although Gore did not graduate.) Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Benson, went to law school. Look at the Democrat Party in Congress: the Majority Leader in each house is a lawyer.

The Republican Party is different. President Bush and Vice President Cheney were not lawyers, but businessmen. The leaders of the Republican Revolution were not lawyers. Newt Gingrich was a history professor; Tom Delay was an exterminator; and Dick Armey was an economist. House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer, not a lawyer. The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon.

Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer? Gerald Ford, who left office thirty-one years ago and who barely won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976. The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work. The Democratic Party is made up of lawyers. Democrats mock and scorn men who create wealth, like Bush and Cheney, or who heal the sick like Frist, or who immerse themselves in history like Gingrich.

The Lawyers' Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services that people want, as the enemies of America. And so we have seen the procession of official enemies in the eyes of the Lawyers' Party grow. Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail? Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers and anyone producing anything of value in our nation.[...]

Ha! Although Chris Dodd and Joe Biden are lawyers, Howard Dean is not. Neither are Dennis Kucinich or Mike Gravel.

Of more local interest, my U.S. Representative, Paul Ryan, is not a lawyer, but he's a Republican. Senator Herb Kohl isn't either. Senator Russ Feingold is. Representative Tammy Balwin is as well.

As they ask in Texas, "What's the difference between a rattlesnake and a lawyer that have been run over on the road?"

"There are braking skid marks in front of the rattlesnake."

Conservatism and Liberalism

Mark Goldblatt offers an opinion on the ideological differences between the left and the right:

Liberals, in general, see conservatives as brutish God-drunk bigots determined to crush whomever stands in their way in order to preserve the inequities of the status quo; by contrast, liberals see themselves as worldly, open-minded, kind-hearted paragons of social virtue whose guiding principle is their determination to look out for those less fortunate than themselves.

It is a very good piece.

VDH on Iraq

Victor Davis Hanson discusses the war in Iraq on NRO:

[...]Rarely in American history has a war been so often spun, praised, renounced, disowned, and finally neglected. And the result is that a number of questions remain not just unanswered, but unasked. We have not been hit since 9/11, despite the dire predictions from almost everyone of serial attacks to come. Today if a Marine recruitment center is bombed, we automatically assume the terrorist to represent a domestic anti-war group, not al-Qaeda — a perverse conjecture impossible to have imagined in autumn 2001.

In response to that calm, the communis opinio is that we hyped the threat, needlessly went to war, mortgaged the Constitution — just collate the rhetoric from the Obama and Clinton campaigns — when there was never much of a post-9/11 threat from a rag-tag bunch of jihadists in the first place.

What is never discussed is how many Islamists flocked to Iraq, determined to defeat the U.S. military — and never got out alive. Or, more bluntly, how many jihadists did the U.S. Army and Marines kill in Iraq rather than in Manhattan?

And what was the effect of that defeat not only on the jihadists, but also on those who were watching carefully to see whether the terrorists should be joined in victory or abandoned in defeat? Who really took his eye off the ball — the United States by going into Iraq, as alleged, or Osama bin Laden and his jihadist lieutenants by diverting thousands there to their deaths, as is never mentioned?

When the war started, contrary to the current rhetoric, Osama bin Laden was popular in the Middle East, and the tactic of suicide bombing had won a sizable following. But after the war was fought, and despite years of anti-American rhetoric, bin Laden has never polled lower while support for suicide murdering in the Muslim Middle East continues to decline.

In 2001, the Arab street apparently thought, for all the macabre nature of suicide bombing, that it at least had brought the United States to its knees and such a takedown was considered a good thing; in the latter reflection of 2007 and 2008, it worried that such a tactic brought the United States military to its region, and guaranteed the defeat of jihadists along with any who joined them.

Iraq, as no one ever imagined, ended up as a landscape in which the United States and al-Qaeda would battle for the hearts and minds of the Arab world on the world stage. And in Anbar Province, the jihadists are losing — losing militarily and losing the support of the local Sunni population. Again, whereas the conventional wisdom holds that we have radicalized an entire generation of young Muslims, it may turn out instead that we have convinced a generation that it is not wise after 9/11 to wage war against the United States. In any case, there is no other constitutional Arab government in the Middle East that actively hunts down and kills al-Qaeda terrorists.

When the insurgency took off in late 2003, Europe immediately triangulated against the United States, courted the Arab world, and hoped to deflect jihadists by loudly proclaiming they were vehemently against the war in Iraq. This is in itself was quite remarkable, since the entire recent expansion of the European Union to the south and east had been predicated only on a partnership agreement with the United States to extend NATO membership — alone ensuring these weak new European affiliates American military protection.

Irony abounds: Since 2003, Europe — not the United States — has experienced a series of attacks, and near-constant threats, ranging from bombed subways and rail stations to Islamic demands to censor cartoons, operas, films, and papal exegeses.

It is in Europe, not in post-Iraq Kansas, where a Turkish prime minister announces to Muslim expatriate residents that they must remain forever Turks and assimilation is a crime; it is in post-Iraq Europe, not Los Angeles, where politicians and churchmen talk of the inevitability of Sharia law; and it is in post-Iraq Europe, not the United States, where honor killings and Islamic rioting are common occurrences.

Why? A number of reasons, but despite all the misrepresentation and propaganda, the message has filtered through the Middle East that the United States will go after and punish jihadists — but also, alone of the Western nations, it will risk its own blood and treasure to work with Arab nations to find some alternative to the extremes of dictatorship and theocracy. Europe, in contrast to its utopian rhetoric, will trade with and profit from, but most surely never challenge, a Middle Eastern thug.[...]

"Today if a Marine recruitment center is bombed, we automatically assume the terrorist to represent a domestic anti-war group, not al-Qaeda." That is a very telling statement. Even after the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, many automatically assumed that it was the work of Islamic terrorists.

Obama Is the Cat's Meow

(Photo by Rick Lucas)

Other insights:

Ari Onasis Killed Kennedy

Bush Lied, People Died

The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Use

9/11 Was An Inside Job

Barack Obama/Rosie O'Donnell, 2008

Reynolds Aluminum Works Better Than Alcoa

How did Mr. Pterodactyl miss this?

Pi... is the symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi = 3.1415926535...

Pi Day is celebrated by math enthusiasts around the world on March 14th.

The link leads to a listing of the first million digits of Pi.

I'm a little shocked that Mr. Pterodactyl - the guy who used to give his phone number in binary code - hasn't mentioned it.

Popeye Doyle
Or
Olive Doyle?

It is time again for Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle to step up to the plate and go to bat for us little guys. He formerly has worked to help Wisconsin residents circumvent the expensive dominance of Big Pharma. He has labored to make Big Wal-Mart accountable for the health care of its employees and off of Wisconsin BadgerCare. He has called Big Oil executives on the carpet to answer for extravagant profits and high costs for Wisconsin consumers. Now, again, we call upon our esteemed governor to yank the chains of those who 'pick their feet in Poughkeepsie.'

In the wake of the revelations as to the activities of New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, we demand action. Former Governor Spitzer was shown to have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on female companions, often for thousands of dollars per hour.

Governor Doyle should now subpoena the Madams of all major Houses in the United States and call them to account for the extravagant profits and price gouging of Wisconsin consumers. He must raise taxes on them and legislate that they not raise prices for customers.

C'mon, Governor Doyle, take a stand on behalf of us little guys against the profit mongering Big Whore!

Get Smart, 2008

"Chief, K.A.O.S. has infiltrated talk radio and they are encouraging cross-over voting to undermine our democratic primary processes!"

"Are you sure, Agent '99'? Could your hopeful vision be loose change? I'll call Agent '86' and get her opinion."

"No, Chief, I don't see any problem! But, we could call Agent '9' to pick his brain. He's a real go-getter."

"Chief, Agent '9' cannot be reached. He must be meditating under the Cone of Silence."

The 'State of the Corpora Cavernosa' Address

Eric Allie on Eliot Spitzer:

Koshkonarctica

Jerry sent more pictures of global warming on Lake Koshkonong:

Tough Neighborhood

Mr. Kotter on Welcome Back, Kotter, said that his old neighborhood was so tough that the gangs didn't shoot you, they 'inserted the bullets manually.'

My neighborhood is pretty tough, too. Around here they don't flatten your tires with knives, ice picks, or tire strips. They get in your way and flatten you tires manually.

Linda recently had a flat. As the tire was new, I took it back to the dealer to get repaired. The technician brought the offending material to me. It turned out to be a splinter of bone, complete with blood, that had flattened her tire:



Although Linda has never driven tanks around Tiananmen Square, I would not recommend getting in her way or competing with her for a prime parking spot. Pedestrians, please do not exercise your 'right of way.'

In my neighborhood there are street signs stating, "Drive carefully, Children diving for cover!"

I also strongly suspect that it isn't really global warming that is threatening the polar bear population.

On This Day in Wisconsin History

March 7th, 1986:


As you can plainly see from Lance's previous post, Grandpa and Grandma haven't changed a bit.

Happy 22nd Anniversary, John and Kirstin!

Happy Anniversary

To Grandpa John and Grandma Kirstin


Funny how I couldn't find any pictures of them together.

They've been married for twenty-two years today. Five B.F. (Before Favre). Geez, Favre wasn't even in college yet. Still in high school.

Wow, that was a long time ago. How old are Grandpa John and Grandma Kirstin, exactly?

Left, Right, Behind...Left, Right, BAM!

From some Limey rag:

Britain's first 'Safe Text' street has been created complete with padded lampposts to protect millions of mobile phone users from getting hurt in street accidents while walking and texting.

Around one in ten careless Brits has suffered a "walk 'n text" street injury in the past year through collisions with lampposts, bins and other pedestrians.

In some future time, all cell phones and other such devices will come equipped with proximity alarms, to prevent their users from banging into things. That’ll last until the signals start interfering with pacemakers, or hearing aids, or until the constant tinny alarms disrupt the peace and quiet on suburban streets. Then all such devices will be banned in public places.

Hurray For Hollywood!

(Ed. note: Since Grandpa John's is a blog dedicated to fairness we have decided that we must right a great inequity in American culture. The Democrat Presidential primary has become a contest between two individuals that are members of two separate groups that have long been victims of the evil White male American culture; namely women and minorities. That being said, we here at Grandpa John's also recognize that February was Black History Month giving Senator Barack Obama an unfair boost throughout the month's primaries. To level the playing field we have decided to designate March as Women's History Month.)

Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler
"Any girl can be glamorous. All she has to do is stand still and look stupid."

Like many great people Hedwig probably also realized that, by her speech, any girl could prove it.

In 1940 Ms. Kiesler was already a starlet living in Hollywood. Her neighbor, George Antheil, was a composer and writer, with a hobby of studying endocrinology. One day Hedwig decided to visit George and inquire of his glandular knowledge to help increase her breast size. One thing lead to another and anyone can easily imagine what happened next. Their conversational intercourse naturally slipped into the topic of torpedoes and other weapons of war.

After all this extensive foreplay Hedwig and George developed plans for 'frequency hopping' radio control of Allied torpedoes to aid in the defeat of American enemies. Unfortunately, the idea was at least 20 years before its time and was not actually able to be developed until about 1957. In 1962 these controls were used on American vessels during the Cuban Crisis.

On behalf of Grandpa John's I would like to thank you, Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler, for your stand against evil regimes. I dare hope to think that your influence recently inspired a flash of rational thought by Angelina Jolie after her visit to Iraq. I could think of dozens of present day Hollywood airheads that could also benefit from your example.


AKA, Hedy Lamarr


Ms. Lamarr, during this Women's History Month we at Grandpa John's salute your great contributions to the well being of The United States. We mourn your passing in 2000.


Addendum: Doodle comparison

Movie star Hedy Lamarr doodle, 1942:


Modern movie star doodle, 2008:

Interesting Stat

The WIBA announcer that summed Brett Favre's news conference today stated that since Favre started with them, the Packers were the winningest team in Pro Football. I have not been able to verify this statement, but, if true, that is about the best statistic that one could own.

Even Better'n OnStar

Favre Retires

Retire In Peace, and thanks for the memories.

Put down your clipboard, Aaron Rodgers, and get out there!

D'Sousa On Buckley

Dinesh D'Sousa relates an early 1980's memory of a William F. Buckley column:

[...]Buckley noted in his column that in previous epidemics, such as the syphilis epidemic of the early part of the twentieth century, America quarantined people who contracted the disease. Buckley argued against quarantining victims of AIDS. Somewhat light-heartedly, he suggested that a better alternative might be to have some insignia warning off potential partners. He came up with the admittedly strange idea of a small tattoo on the AIDS victim's rear end. Not surprisingly, the column caused immediate controversy.

At National Review, however, the controversy was of a different sort. The big question that arose among the editors was not whether there should be a tattoo but rather what the tattoo should say. Several entries were submitted, and the contest winner was my own English professor Jeffrey Hart, a senior editor of the magazine, who proposed the line emblazoned on the entrance gate to Dante's Inferno: "Abandon all hope ye who enter here."

Obama's America

HOPING FOR CHANGE


YES, WE CAN!

That 3AM Phone Call

President Obama, the Iranians presently have nuclear warheads primed to strike Washington, Israel, Rome, Paris, and London. What are your orders, sir?


"PRESENT"

They're holding tryouts for extras for the new Johnny Depp movie...

...but:

Men should no taller than 6'1" and women no taller than 5'8'' and no larger than size 12.

According to Kayla (that is, the 5'10 Kayla): "that's bogus!"

Tough luck, kid. Half the crew at Grandpa John's was ruled out by "the casting directors are looking for 'people with great faces.'"

And it wasn't the tall half.

Ursus maritimus Fricassee
The Other White Meat

Nick Nichols... Oh, no, you di-uh!

A few weeks back I noted in my column that when times get tough, Americans will stop worrying about whether polar bears have enough ice and start asking whether those white, furry critters are edible. That comment caused quite a stir, and I would like to thank everyone, in particular the folks from Alaska, for the great recipes they forwarded—“Bear Claw Cordon Bleu” for instance.[...]

News coverage of Mr. Lutz’s politically incorrect “crock-of-doo-doo” declaration caused me to wonder just how many American business executives harbor the same opinion about global warming, but are too cowardly to utter the words in public?[...]

It’s time for some business group to create a petition for skeptical corporate executives to sign if they question the validity of manmade global warming. The petition could be called the Crock of Doo-Doo Declaration in honor of Bob Lutz. I would bet good money that someday signatories to the petition will be hailed as business leaders who had the intestinal fortitude to stand up to the eco-evangelists and reject their sermon that to save the planet the economy must be destroyed. If the global warming juggernaut isn’t sidetracked soon, I fear we will all be feasting on Bear Claw Cordon Bleu.

Watching Marquette play Georgetown today...

...and I can't help wondering who designed those uniforms:



Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?

Riddle Me This, Batman

The evil Dr. Sanity:

...goes on to note how those threatening violence unless their demands are met are not confronted for their behavior; instead, the insensitive people who have dared to offend them with art; or speech; or whatever--are the ones "responsible" for causing the problem.

This is an extremely fascinating line of 'reasoning' for the PC crowd who are usually obsessed with determining and proclaiming victimhood. By logical extension, they must also believe in their heart of hearts feel that rape victims "ask for it"; battered women must be responsible for their spouse's violence against them; and, in general, anyone who is bullied and pushed around must be the "root cause" of the bully's violence and threats.

How in heaven's name have people who are so invested in the whole "victim/oppressor" template and apply that dialectic to every situation, managed to PERVERT and INVERT reality to such an extent so that the thugs and bullies--i.e., the violent oppressors in the real world-- have become "the oppressed"? How did victims of violence, or threat of violence, become the oppressors?

Well, obviously, Dr. Sanity's childish worldview hasn't included some of the greater evils of life; namely George W. Bush, Halliburton, Exxon-Mobil, big pharma, and Wal-Mart.