Come & Get It

Mark Leibovich reported in the New Yorkie Times:

What Has 132 Rooms and Flies?
WASHINGTON — The White House is bugged! No, not like that. But actual flies are swarming the place, confounding housekeepers, irritating aides, even trying to feast on the president.

I suspect that Capitol Hill also suffers the same fate.

The Entomologists in our secret basement laboratory visited D.C. and studied the condition first hand.

Their conclusion:

Poop, crap, s**t, turds, Pelosi, baby ruths, dump, droppings, dung, dingleberries, chocolate hotdogs, lincoln logs, floaters, ca-ca... human waste, doo-doo, poo-poo, Reid, poopies, good old #2, brown baby boy, fudge, a steamer, a plop, a load, a pile, feces...

Cartooning Obama's Domestic Policies

Stantis, Ramirez, & Breen

A Man's Home is His Cave

And so Lance titles a recent TrogloPundit post. It struck a chord for me in that for about 5 years I've had this stone sign hanging on the book case over my desk:




The TrogFather will deny it, but I claim there's a genetic component at work. A mutation perhaps, but genetic, nonetheless.

Rule 5 Monday: Wimbledon Edition II

Deuce Geary, a Jarhead, posts Rule 5 Monday: Wimbledon Edition over on The Skepticrats today.

Deuce quotes from an article from Mail online concerning deciding factors in choosing centre court matches at Wimbledon. In the early rounds rule 5 nominees of lowly seeding play centre court matches while higher seeded Helen Thomas look-alikes play on other courts. Good for business and the promotion of women's tennis.

Deuce images Maria Sharapova. (Using TrogloPundit spelling tactics.) Anyway, not a bad rule 5 choice.

I, however, am a bit more old school in my Wimbledon rule 5 selection.

Gabriella Sabatini
at age 39.

John Edwards Sex Tape

Complete with toys and lubricants.

Edwards really has it goin' on!





To quote Paris Hilton- "That's hot!"

(H.T. Don Surber.)

There's an Upside to ObamaCare

Rationing of Resources-
Medical Care or Euthanasia?

Perez Hilton was bleeding and needed to seek medical attention after his face assaulted some guy's fist. But Hilton also is definitely senile and suffers from Tourette syndrome. There would be a two week wait for stitches, but the euthanasia rack 'em & stack 'em ward has openings. What will the bureaucrat decide?

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."


The issue is appealed to the highest court.

"I am somewhat concerned by this incident. (Oh, he was a contributor to the DNC and my campaign?) We will medically treat Mr. Hilton. (And I will appoint him Internet Czar.) That Conservative with internal injuries from saving the children by pushing them out of the path of that runaway bus will have to wait."



Steve Burri, Leave Perezident Obama alone!

Wind Power Would Destroy the Planet

Precise calculations by the scientists in our secret basement laboratory have shown that wind generated electrical power would have several negative unintended consequences for the planet.

1) The overall action by the rotors of wind turbines will alter the rotational velocity of the planet.

2) The planet's axis around which it rotates will be changed.

3) The Earth's orbit will by altered sending the planet careening toward the sun.

Hey, it's probably better science than what's going around Washington these days.

Open Carry Ruled Legal

So...



(H.T. Dad29.)

The Statist

I've just begun reading Mark Levin's book Liberty and Tyranny. In the first chapter, page 8, he writes a nice paragraph summarizing the appetites and tactics of a Statist.

And yet, the Statist has an insatiable appetite for control. His sights are set on his next meal even before he has bully digested his last. He is constantly agitating for government action. And in furtherance of that purpose, the Statist speaks in the tongue of the demagogue, concocting one pretext and grievance after another to manipulate public perceptions and build popular momentum for the divestiture of liberty and property from its rightful possessors. The industrious, earnest, and successful are demonized as perpetrators of various offences against the public good, which justifies governmental intervention on behalf of an endless parade of 'victims.' In this way, the perpetrator and the victim are subordinated to the government's authority--the former by outright theft, the latter by a dependent existence. In truth, both are made victims by the real perpetrator, the Statist.

A little more...

The Statist veils his pursuits in moral indignation, intoning in high dudgeon the injustices and inequities of liberty and life itself, for which on he can provide justice and bring a righteous resolution. And when the resolution proves elusive, as it undoubtedly does.... the Statist demands ever more authority to wring out the imperfections of mankind's existence.

It's real simple stuff, but apparently hard to come by in the general character of our present culture. Any society that would elect the likes of an Al Franken or even consider the passage of 'Cap & Trade,' etc., has to have its character and/or sanity questioned.

Electronic Empathy

My computer crashed and died, ironically while watching the 'Thriller Dance Video' on TrogloPundit. Either that computer was a big Michael Jackson fan or Lance was using his Star Wars powers on me.

Why Obama is Wary of Supporting Iranian Democracy

In the ripple of the wake of President Obama's support for Iranian democracy and criticism of the regime's brutal, murderous hand, it should be noted that our President and the Democrat leadership have more serious issues on their minds.

As the Democrats were able to view images from within Iran they began to realize what they have to do here in the States. Their priority must be gun control. If Americans become inspired by the sacrificial push for freedom and democracy of the Iranians and choose to act in like manner, it would mean big trouble for the present American regime.

Can you imagine an American freedom movement that assembles large crowds such as this that still has the right to own guns?



Gun control; it's a public health issue. It's for the children. It will lessen carbon emissions to save the planet. (That's why the Democrats no longer use the phrase 'Cap & Trade.' They fear the 'Cap' that may bite them in their asses.)

The Luck of the Spouse

Mr. Sanford, Mr. Ensign, Mr. Edwards, & Mr. Spitzer: You are lucky that you didn't marry a Sarah Palinoid woman. If Todd Palin had...

An Aspirin in Every Pot

It seems that Jill is a little bit of skeptical about President Obama's 'health care for everybody' plan titling her post Obama: Healthier people must have insurance forced on them. She seems to think that this plan is trying to 'have your cake and eat it, too.'

Jill is a heretic when President Obama says, "I think it is achievable, as long as we stay focused on driving down costs, as well as expanding coverage." I don't even know what she looks like, but I can still see her rolling her eyes and expressing a large 'harrummmph!'

She seems to forget all the successful and money saving projects that have been completed by government programs since forever. Create or save has been happening since the Neanderthals created 'beer bellies' in early humans and saved the species.

In order to give Pundette an attitude adjustment:



We are all Neanderthals now.

Where Did That Come From?

While watching the regional doppler weather radar yesterday one could follow a serious line of thunderstorms located in a line through Missouri and southern Illinois. Rock County, WI was totally clear. Then in a matter of 10 minutes a small thunderstorm built in the north-central part of the county and the tornado warning sirens began to go off. A funnel cloud had been verified by two sources.

Kim had just walked out of WalMart and shot this on her cell:



That was the whole storm.

Weight Loss Claims- The Pinnacle

One subject loses 20 tons, another 16- Overnight!

Another miracle weight loss product.


BEFORE: Drab fat clothes, unpopular, homely, clumsy.


AFTER: Fits back into sexy skinny clothes, popular, feels beautiful, good dancer.
(Images from Search4Dinosaurs.com.)

(H.T. Lucianne.com.)

MSbpP

(Since this idea is making the rounds again, I thought that I would repost this from its original January 8, 2009 issue.)

Several of the psycho-psychiatrists that work in my secret basement laboratory are petitioning the American Psychiatric Association for the inclusion of MSbpP into the DSM-IV.

The DSM-IV is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders that provides diagnostic criteria for mental disorders; the psychiatric rule and case book.

MSbpP is otherwise known as Münchausen Syndrome by political Proxy.

Here are the diagnostic criteria for this epidemic of Reid/Pelosi flu:

-A culture that has one or more socio-economic problems that do not respond to heroic legislation or that follow an unusual course that is persistent, puzzling and unexplained.

-Editorial or propagandist findings that are highly unusual, discrepant with history, or physically or clinically impossible.

-A politician who appears to be knowledgeable and/or fascinated with societal details and mainstream media gossip, appears to enjoy the elite environment, and expresses interest in the details of other plebian problems.

-A highly attentive politician who is reluctant to leave their society's side and who themselves seem to require constant attention.

-A politician who appears to be unusually calm in the face of serious difficulties in their culture's downward course while being highly supportive and encouraging of the lawmakers,

OR one who is angry, devalues alternate opinions, and demands further intervention, more procedures, acquiescent opinions, and transfers to other, more sophisticated, cultures.

-The signs and symptoms of a culture’s troubles do not occur in the politician’s absence.

-A cultural history of similar or unexplained ailments in the presence of like-minded politicians.

-A politician with symptoms often worse than their culture's that itself is puzzling and unusual.

-A politician who constantly reports dramatic, negative events, such as global warming, cultural doom and gloom, or being despised by other cultures, that affect them while their society is undergoing legislative treatment.

-A politician who seems to have an insatiable need for adulation or who makes self-serving efforts for public acknowledgment of their wisdom and abilities.

My psychiatrists have commissioned our biologists and physiologists to produce a vaccine to inoculate our countrymen from this destructive disease. Their battle cry is "For the Children."

Ten Beers You Must Drink This Summer

Bruce Owens:

10. Victory Prima Pils

9. Landshark Lager

8. Saison Dupont Farmhouse Ale

7. Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

6. Pabst Blue Ribbon

5. Sam Adams Summer Ale

4. Ommegang Witte Ale

3. Harpoon Summer

2. Stone Cali-Belgique IPA

1. Erdinger Weissbier

Pabst Blue Ribbon at #6. PBR? Patty Blue? We always drank that back when I was 18. It was the cheap stuff.

Little did I realize that even back then I was among the elite, the hoity-toity. I am one of the few that matters! Who knew?

UPDATE: Coming soon from TrogloPundit, The 857 Beers You Must Drink Next Week.

A Legend in His Own Mind

As ABC airs President Obama's health care plan infomercial, they have refused to sell commercial time to anyone trying to present alternative views. They, however, have revealed one of the ads that will be aired.

The Most Interesting Man in the World

Troglodytes Unite!

The current administration is looking to Europe as a source for effective methods to combat The TrogloPundit's hater-style bloviations. At present their greatest hope lies in the U.K.

Hilaire Purbrick has been living in a two-metre wide cave on his plot of land in Brighton, in the UK, for 16 years, London's The Telegraph said.

But Brighton and Hove City Council recently checked the cave and decided it did not have enough fire exits, and got an injunction to ban him from entering it, The Telegraph said.

Rumor has it that The Trogfather has the young Troglita and Troglitos clawing out an alternate exit without even so much as a pick-axe. (Good move, Trog. I wouldn't trust those young buggers with anything more dangerous than a spork, either. At our family gatherings, I always keep my back to a wall, fearing a Trogloshiving from one of those little Troglocrips.)

(H.T. Wicked Thoughts.)

Even Kim Jong Il Recycles

Kim Jong Il loves the planet and he faithfully recycles.

"If the U.S. and its followers infringe upon our republic's sovereignty even a bit, our military and people will launch a one hundred- or one thousand-fold retaliation with merciless military strike," the government-run Minju Joson newspaper said in a commentary.

Nee: 'The Mother of All Battles.'

The Moral of 'The Tale of the Dead Fly'

President Obama taught a lesson the other day that would make the Founding Fathers proud.

“I got the sucker,” the President proclaimed after killing the fly that had been pestering him while doing an interview in the White House.

This simple tale is actually an amazing story that underscores our history of American Exceptionalism.

Here is the outline of the story:

-The pesky fly represented a crisis.

-This crisis had been developing for a long time, but had not been dealt with properly by previous administrations.

-The present administration has proposed steps to overcome the crisis:

Staff members have been issued fly swatters, and one, Brian Mosteller, stood at the ready during Mr. Obama’s television interviews on Tuesday (a lot of good he did).

-President Obama, acting as a private citizen, did not view himself a helpless victim in need of a government fix, handout, or bailout.

-President Obama practiced American Exceptionalism by solving the problem at his own initiative.

“I got the sucker.”

Well done, Mr. President! Now apply that valuable lesson to other areas of American life.

Barry, Barry Obama, King of the Wild Frontier

Born on a mountain top in Hawai'i
Or in a village hut of Kenyee
Raised in the hood so's he knew Alinsky
Kilt him a fly when only forty-three
Barry, Barry Obama, king of the soc'list frontier

Organized the unwashed through many a war
Till the enemy was whipped and PC was in store
And while he was handlin' this risky chore
He made himself messiah forever more
Barry, Barry Obama, the beautiful man in the mirror

He went off to Congress and served a spell
Fixin' up the Government and the laws as well
Took over Washington, so I heard tell
And he patched up the economy and sent the land to hell
Barry, Barry Obama seeing his duty clear

When he came home his politic'ing was done
And the socialist march had just begun
So he packed up his reporters with much pomp and fuss
And lit out a-grinnin'and throwin' friends under the bus
Barry, Barry Obama leading the Young Pioneers

Obama Finally Authorizes Release of Birth Certificate

The debate is finally settled.

Snaggletoothie has the story.

"The MOST Fearless"

No Florida Gators or L.S.U. Tigers were harmed in the filming of this video, mostly because they were at least intelligent enough not to show up.



It is also a little known fact that the turning point of the war in Iraq was a brilliant propaganda blitz by the British. After that point the Iraqis decided to get serious about building a democracy. The story is here. (Lance posted this story some time ago, but I was not able to find it in the short time I had.)

Celluloid on the Cutting Room Floor

Before the development of the necessary computer imaging technology, the early filming of Jurassic Park proved somewhat problematic in the production of desired dramatic effect.

Here's a single frame from the earlier takes that were gleaned from the cutting room floor.



(H.T. Red of 'Caught Him With A Corndog'.)

Stand at Attention and Salute Rule 5

The Patriot Girls.


(H.T. Chicago Ray.)

Bend It Like Obama

President Obama is having a great deal of trouble handling this new major league ball. He whiffs often while trying to dribble it, but when he does connect, nobody bends it like Obama.

No Wonder a Day of the Week is Named After Him

I will seldom acknowledge a great play that was made by a Chicago Cubbie, but there is one that will go down as an all-time great play. April 25th, 1976, in the bottom of the 4th inning at Dodger Stadium, Cubs' center fielder, Rick Monday, goes after it... What a grab!



Before that, the day following Sunday was called Moonday. After that save, Congress voted to change it to Monday.

In this 1976 season, Rick Monday was voted National League MVP. Of course, the Cubs then traded him to the Dodgers who went on to win NL pennants in 1977 and 1978.

Monday, an ex-Marine, still has that flag. He was offered one million dollars for it and turned it down.

Have a good Flag Day.

A Vision of America's Future

The Obamordor Nanny State


The Ring of Washington Power must be destroyed!

(H.T. Photo taken from Pat, the Grey Ghost.)

Dr. Sanity's Diagnosis:

The nuts are now in charge of the asylum.
I've been reading Dr. Pat Santy's blog daily for nearly 5 years. She is an experienced psychiatrist and a strong conservative in a profession flooded with liberals.

Dr. Santy is mad as hell and will not take it any more. Here's a taste:

I'm done. If Congress passes Obama's destructive zombie health plan in any form, I quit.

I will simply not practice medicine anymore. I will take my psychiatry books and my years of experience and do something else. I used to wait tables when I was in college. It's an honest living and Obama isn't interested for the time being in nationalizing restaurants--yet.

Let me be clear. I don't believe that people have a "right" to health care; because, what advocating such a "right" basically means is that you believe you have a "right" to my mind; you have a "right" to my professional competence; i.e., you have a "right" to enslave me.

Having chosen to work primarily in the public sector most of my life, I have watched this entitlement and victimhood mentality grow to incredible proportions in parallel with number of laws, regulations, administrators, and oversight agencies. I have watched the decline of personal responsibility and the rise of endless demands and impossible clinical and psychosocial conundrums that I am expected to solve, even if my patient has no desire to change. I have been demoted to the near-mindless activity of pushing pills to the point that I understand why my colleagues see every clinical situation as a biological malfunction--the old adage that says, to a hammer everything looks like a nail, comes to mind. Psychiatrists are the mental health profession's hammer; and drugs are the nail. And, the same powers that tell me to prescribe drugs, warn me against the evil of working too closely with any of the drug companies, for fear I might be corrupted, God forbid, by the dastardly profit motive.

I have watched as the quality of care has inevitably deteriorated even as spending went up. I have watched the system abuse patients and doctors alike--to the point that the frustration level just keeps going up and is simply not worth it anymore.

If this comes to pass, it will be true that Dr. Santy hasn't left (public sector) psychiatry, American psychiatry has left her.

Morgan's First Lunker

"Daddy, how come you don't gots none?"

"Should I use a wod & weel next time?"

"Daddy, this is a little bowing. Can I go shoot something now?"

Obama's Other Note

Lance logged a short post about President Obama writing a note of excuse for 10 year-old Kennedy Corpus. Young Kennedy skipped school to see the President speak in Green Bay.

Unfortunately, Lance only hit half of the story. I also was able to approach President Obama with a sob story about Turbo Tax and to his credit he responded in a similar gracious manner:

Peace & Harmony- Mother Nature Style

Many of you may remember this story from 2005,

It appears that the 13-foot long Burmese python attempted to swallow the six-foot alligator before its stomach ruptured, resulting in the deaths of both animals.

along with its accompanying picture:



Well, this seems to be another bad day for gators.

Dog Pack Attacks Gator In Florida

EVERGLADES, FL (GJNews)- At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines.

The remarkable photograph is below courtesy of Nature Magazine. (Due to the graphic nature of the photo, it has been moved well down the page to allow the reader to finish the text and then decide whether or not to view the carnage. I wish it upon no one to have that image involuntarily jack-hammered into his or her conscious mind forever. You have been warned. You may want to keep a garbage can nearby to assist as an emesis basin.)

Photo subtitle: Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

Scroll down to view the 'pristine beauty' of Mother Nature.













Oh, the alligatanity!!"

(H.T. Will Nehs)

Miller Lite

Tastes great!
Less mugging!

Tastes great!!
Less mugging!!

Dusk neared Saturday as 28-year-old Kayte Taylor and three girlfriends pulled up to Sam's Market on Santa Rosa Avenue to buy beer.

Kayte and the one pal who accompanied her inside chatted merrily as Kayte reached into the cooler. Just then a man strode up, bumped Kayte and snatched her wallet from her other hand.

"He's got my wallet!" Kayte yelled as the robber headed for the door.

Taking chase, Kayte reached the sidewalk to see the guy pushing and trying to mount a bicycle. It dawned on Kayte there was something useful in her hand.

A 12-pack of Miller Lite -- bottles. Her friends' eyes widened as Kayte hoisted the box to shoulder height, reared back and shot-put the beer at the burglar maybe 12 feet away.

Pow. Down he went...

Kayte got her wallet back.

(Chris Smith, columnist, Press Democrat, Santa Rosa, CA.)

Obama's Health Care Plan Raises Alexis de Tocqueville From the Dead

He immediately hops a flight to America to observe its progress since his last visit.
Excerpts from his journal:

I observe that Liberal belief... suppresses individuality. People think collectively; first in terms of the community, the extended village. This traditional-progressive mindset feeds into the “big man” and gangster politics of the American city: the exaggerated respect for a swaggering leader, and the (literal) inability to understand the whole idea of loyal opposition.

Anxiety - fear of the spiritual, of history, of nature and the wild, of a political hierarchy, of quite everyday things - strikes deep into the whole structure of modern thought. Every man has his place and, call it fear or respect, a great weight grinds down the individual spirit, stunting curiosity. People won't take the initiative, won't take things into their own hands or on their own shoulders.

But let me try an example: the answer given by Sir Edmund Hillary to the question: Why climb the mountain? “Because it's there,” he said.

To the run-of-the-mill Liberal mind, this is an explanation of why one would not individually try to climb the mountain. It's... well, there. Just there. Why interfere? Nothing to be done about it, or with it. Hillary's further explanation - that nobody else had climbed it - would stand as a second reason for passivity.

Those who want America to walk tall amid 21st-century global competition must not kid themselves that providing the material means or even the knowhow that accompanies what we call development will make the change. A whole belief system must first be supplanted.

Christianity, post-Reformation and post-Luther, with its teaching of a direct, personal, two-way link between the individual and God, unmediated by the collective, and unsubordinate to any other human being, smashes straight through the philosphical/spiritual framework I've just described. It offers something to hold on to to those anxious to cast off a crushing tribal groupthink. That is why and how it liberates.

OK... Obama didn't really raise Tocqueville from the dead... yet. And the above quotes are really not from his journal. They are, however, slightly adapted excerpts of an article by Matthew Parris in the Timesonline.

Parris, an atheist, is writing about Africa and his return visit there after a 45 year absence.

(H.T. Marvin Olasky @ Townhall & World Magazine.)

Interstate, Intercollegiate Rivalries

For some time now Gatordoug, The TrogloPundit, and I have been participating in a bantering intercollegiate, interstate rivalry. It's been a lot of laughs, especially since Lance and I found out that the actual size of a gator's brain is precisely the same size as a chihuahua turd with only slightly less survival value.

However, as Lance points out, we've been invaded by foreigners. It seems that Pat in Shreveport has thrown her beret into the ring. I expect that she is mostly targeting Gatordoug as an S.E.C. intra-conference rival. (S.E.C. stands for South European Conference.) But Pat has included Wisconsin in her diss, so she stands in line for another Badger pummeling.

As has been previously noted, the dignified badger has rid the state of Wisconsin of many undesirables and vermin. Not only has Bucky driven out gators and tigers, but also fire ants, killer bees, scorpions, coral snakes, water moccasins, copperheads, black widow and brown recluse spiders, and most rattlesnakes and cockroaches. (Furry badger families enjoy roast rattlesnake and cockroach 'popcorn' while watching Badger and Packer games on the weekends while snug in their cozy dens.)

As has also been pointed out, gators are homely swamp dwelling reptiles. If perchance they move or are transported north, they are most at home in city sewer systems. They do have some redeeming qualities, however. Gators are pretty tasty and make nice boots and shoes, brief cases, & suitcases. They are also make good entertainers working as professional rasslers. Perhaps the best trait is that it is very hard to get a gator to open his mouth and easy to hold his mouth shut.

What is to be said about the L.S.U. Tiger? He is beautiful and powerful creature. Mascot Mike VI, as were all his predecessors, is a Bengal tiger. He is an imported Asian Indian, an illegal immigrant. L.S.U. is sending good American mascot jobs overseas. It's much like receiving a sales pitch or trying to get information over the phone listening to an accent making the speech unintelligible.

The University of Wisconsin is located in Madison, Wisconsin. Madison was named after a U.S. President. The name of Wisconsin comes from the Algonquian language meaning either 'gathering waters' or more likely, 'God's country.'

The University of Florida is located in Gainesville, Florida. Gainesville received its name because towns in Wisconsin already had taken all the really cool names. Florida is Spanish for 'dainty, purdy flowers, duh.'

Louisiana State University is located in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Baton Rouge is French for 'red stick.' Louisiana is named after a French king. L.S.U. is apparently a French University, oui? Napoleon wanted to pay President Jefferson to take Louisiana, but couldn't come up with enough Francs. They finally settled on the historical sum when Napoleon agreed to cede half of the rest of the continent in the deal.

I apologize if I have offended Nicholas Sarkozy or especially, Carla Bruni. But facts is facts.

Grandpa John's Retroscopy

Here's another Grandpa John's Blast from the Past, March 15, 2005:

The Teflon Man, posting on Molten Thought, does some translating/paraphrasing of the Ten Commandments that should really do the trick

Why not take this all the way?

Aren't the Ten Commandments too unhip?

Why not make them a little more 21st century, a Generation Y translation if you will:

1. I am the cool mack daddy of the dope hype flow. Give me props and mad respect.
2. Don't be kneeling for some bling bling.
3. Don't be throwing my name around, be it J. Hovah or Yah Diddy.
4. Yo, Sunday is "funday", ya dig?
5. Respect your moms, your pops, or whoever it was raised you, unless they whack.
6. Thou shalt not bust a cap in someone's ass.
7. Don't be running around on people like they don't know.
8. No five-finger discounts.
9. Don't front.
10. If your neighbor's got a fly crib or a pimped-out set of wheels, that's they bidness, not yours.

That should bring everything into the modern for at least a year or two.

Joe Biden, Navigator

Herb Jackson on NorthJersey.com reports:

That new tunnel? The one NJ Transit has been touting for years? That the Federal Transit Administration made a huge commitment to on Monday?

Then The Record had a chance to ask about an environmental group’s complaint that Amtrak would not be able to use the new Hudson River tunnel – which is benefitting from a provision of the stimulus bill increasing the Federal Transit Administration’s debt limit -- because it doesn’t go to Penn Station.

Biden said Amtrak was getting its share of stimulus money and more projects would be announced in a few days. Then he offered this:

“Look, this is designed, this totally new tunnel, is designed to provide for automobile traffic,” Biden said. “It’s something, as you know, up your way, that’s been in the works and people have been clamoring for for a long time.”

Uh, Joe...Joe...JOE!!!

(Photo: mlive.com.)

Them Joooos Ain't Lettin' Me Come Home to Roost

It's just too funny to make up.

Obama's former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, was asked some questions while attending Hampton University's 95th Annual Ministers Conference:

Asked if he had spoken to the president, Wright said: "Them Jews aren't going to let him talk to me. I told my baby daughter, that he'll talk to me in five years when he's a lame duck, or in eight years when he's out of office. ...

"They will not let him to talk to somebody who calls a spade what it is. ... I said from the beginning: He's a politician; I'm a pastor. He's got to do what politicians do."

I gotta hand it to Wright, though. At least he is calling Obama a politician that has to act like a politician and not confusing him with the Messiah or God.

(H.T. TigerHawk.)

Davey Downer

Lileks weighs in on David Letterman's style after the doofus tries to make a joke about Alex Rodriguez impregnating Sarah Palin's (14 year-old) daughter:

...What’s amusing is how unamusing he is in the clip. How sour he seems...

This posture was fresh in ’80; it even had energy. But it paralyzes the heart after a while. You end up an SOB who shows up at the end of the night to reassure that nothing matters. I think he may have invented the posture of Nerd Cool, an aspect so familiar to anyone who reads message boards - the skill at deflating enthusiasm, puncturing passion with a hatpin lobbed from a safe distance. The instinctive unease with the wet messy energy of actual people.

Well, it appears that David Letterman has spawned a parody in caricature.

David Letterman

Debbie Downer-Letterman

(H.T. Ed Driscoll.)

Letterman photo: AskMen.com.
Debbie Downer photo: Brainfitforlife.com

Pundette Starts 3rd Party

The Create & Save Party
Pundette has gathered together Americans who have proven to be the greatest creators and savers that the world has ever seen. These are real American heroes, easily electable.

We must choose a slate before the 2010 elections. I'm satisfied with my U.S. Representative, Paul Ryan, so that is taken care of.

Lance will have to find a Create & Savior to run against Tammy Baldwin. I suggest that Lance ramp up his Create & Save rhetoric and run. High quality C & S proclamations will go over big in his district which includes Madistan.

For the 2012 Presidential race, I suspect Pundette, the bedrock of the Create & Save Party will be our logical candidate.

Pundette/Palin 2012

Jill and Sarah in D.C.
Creatin', Savin' all that can be.
We will have to vet that 'in the shadows' Pundit fella, however.

God Fires a Warning Shot

June 5th: Newsweek editor, Evan Thomas, on MSNBC:

"I mean in a way Obama’s standing above the country, above – above the world, he’s sort of God."1

June 9th: Universe Creator, God, on White House lawn:

WASHINGTON (AP) - Strong winds have knocked down a tree on the White House's North Lawn... a European linden.2

(AP Photo)

Men Are Born Ignorant...

not stupid. They are made stupid by education.- Bertrand Russell
Walter Williams in Americans Love Government:

According to latest Rasmussen Reports, 30 percent of Americans believe congressmen are corrupt. Last year, Congress' approval rating fell to 9 percent, its lowest in history. If the average American were asked his opinion of congressmen, among the more polite terms you'll hear are thieves and crooks, liars and manipulators, hustlers and quacks. But what do the same people say when our nation faces a major problem? "Government ought to do something!" When people call for government to do something, it is as if they've been befallen by amnesia and forgotten just who is running government. It's the very people whom they have labeled as thieves and crooks, liars and manipulators, hustlers and quacks.

Our educational system played a large hand in teaching people stupid. But, if they had more money...

As Samuel Adams put it: "No people will tamely surrender their liberties, nor can any be easily subdued, when knowledge is diffused and virtue is preserved. On the contrary, when people are universally ignorant, and debauched in their manners, they will sink under their own weight without the aid of foreign invaders."1

If You Had Been Blogging While We Were Alive...

We'd Still Be Alive Today
Janesville, WI- In a speech today before the residents of Oakhill Cemetery, Steve Burri, psuedoanonymous main contributor on Grandpa John's, informed the respectful audience of the state of the blog, its successes, and its prognosis for the future.

Speech excerpt:

Over the past 5 years, the Grandpa John Administration has blogged harder than it ever has before. To this point our blogging policies have saved 3.2 million lives and alleviated 6.83 Gigapains of human suffering, mostly in the children.

I am pleased, but not yet satisfied. I will redouble blogging efforts and over the next hundred days these policies will save 600,000 more lives and relieve 2.6 more Gigapains of suffering, mostly in innocent children.

The audience sat in stunned, respectful silence, totally awed by this dedication, even as Burri returned to his office to continue the work.

Updates:

Pundette ups the ante.

Gatordoug stops grizzly attacks, employs hookers, and has offered a blogging stimulus package.




Gatordoug nailed this one with his bare hands as it charged a group of crippled children. He presented it to Sarah Palin as a gift.

Shorting Peter

Frank S. Rosenbloom, M.D. writes in American Thinker:

President Obama is committed to fixing health care. He wants to make health care affordable for all Americans. In much the same way, Barney Frank and company wanted to make houses affordable for all Americans...

I think the title of the piece is 'Cutting Off Your Peter to Pay the Pall.'

Michael Linn Jones

My only knowledge of Michael Jones is from two short posts on Poligazette. The first is Enviro-nazis Ultimate Solution. Key sentence:

I voted for change, not economic suicide.

Also check his statement, #7 in the comment section.

The second post is Barack Obama and the Template of Democratic Doom. Concluding paragraphs:

Many, like me, will ride themselves out of the Democratic Party. It’s not what it once was; perhaps it lost its soul a long time ago. Over time, the Democrats will fail. So will President Obama, which is sad in a way. I remember one analyst years ago saying that Jimmy Carter failed in the White House because he tried to micro-manage everything.

Barack Obama’ s template of doom is that he will insist on micro-managing every aspect of everyone’s life. And that’s another promise he failed to mention last year.

Please read both short posts.

I would like to keep up with this guy and hope that he regularly puts articles up for me to do that.

Jimmy, er... Ling Carter on Lebanese Election Results

Quote of the day from Interesting News Items:

BEIRUT, LEBANON - Following defeat in parliamentary elections, terrorist organization Hezbollah shot 34 Acorn employees for failure to turn-out the vote.

Does Our Future Hold More Like Obama?

I spent a good deal of time criticizing President Obama's 20 year relationship with the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. I never considered Wright to have a pulpit worthy of spiritual teaching and that voluntarily sitting under that teaching says that one's character is sorely lacking. The assumption being that 'birds of a feather flock together.'

When Wright made the claim from that pulpit that 9/11 was just an example that America's chickens are coming home to roost, I was not altogether in disagreement. This nation has been involved in a good number of evils, but not so much in the ways that Wright stressed. God often uses people more evil as tools to discipline and give warning to others. I could have agreed with the reverend had he also said that his own church deserved to have one of the planes crashing there as much as the Twin Towers.

America's relationships and actions toward other nations or groups would be subject to much debate in regard to the amount of evil performed. Doubtless much was, but it is just as certain that lots of good was also done. I happen to believe that the United States has done far more good in the world than evil. But this is not a reason that I would have any agreement with Wright's statement.

I would more tend to suspect that harsh discipline would be deserved from internal American beliefs and modes of action. Treatment of minorities? Maybe, but the suffering and death via the Civil War could be considered discipline for that. Treatment of the poor? We have spent trillions on the 'War on Poverty.'

Legalized abortion? Now we're getting somewhere. Yet this is just a symptom. It is a symptom in a society that willingly and officially attempts to separate God and his absolutes from governmental or personal action. In this circumstance the government becomes the default absolute authority and arbiter of all right and wrong, public and private.

What could the government use as a template for decisions? The Constitution? For quite a long time that document could be considered one of two synonymous phrases; a living document or a dead letter. What has replaced the Constitution and rule of law? Feelings, rationalizations, manipulations, and power. When God, his authority, and his absolutes are rejected, a Constitution is just a piece of paper. Anything could be rationalized... for the children, for the planet.

Katherine Kersten logs a commentary on StarTribune.com that does a nice rehash of some of the issues of our culture these days:

As a society, we tolerate pastors, priests, rabbis and other religious folks, so long as they confine their message to a vanilla "God is love" theme and bless babies, brides and caskets.

But when religious leaders speak out on the issues of the day...

We are threatened with instant transmogrification to the Dark Ages. The alternative?

...the idea that the universe is a random accident, that transcendent truth is a myth, and that man's life has no inherent purpose or meaning....

Human beings are prone to selfishness, lust, vindictiveness and cruelty. Once we cease to believe that the moral rules constraining us are rooted in transcendent truth, they become mere preferences -- a matter of personal taste, and so expendable.

Theologian David Bentley Hart, a critic of the New Atheists, puts it this way: "How long can our gentler ethical prejudices ... persist once the faith that gave them their rationale and meaning has withered away?"

The historical record here should give us pause. The French Revolution, Hitler's Germany, Stalin's Soviet Union -- all sought to replace Judeo-Christian ethics with reason, and ended in massive bloodletting.

Nor does science offer moral guidance. That way lies Social Darwinism -- the notion of the survival of the fittest. Unless scientific ambition is constrained by religion, it can come to see humanity as just another form of technology, to be tinkered with and perfected with utility in mind.

If this trend continues, what chickens are expected to come home to roost? Obama is one of those chickens, and it could get worse.

Anthropocentric Global Dehydration Must Be Stopped

Finally, some science put to good use!

Researchers at Granada University in Spain have come across a discovery that will undoubtedly please athletes and sports enthusiasts - a pint of beer post-workout or match is better at rehydrating the human body than water.

Professor Manuel Garzon, a member of Granada's medical faculty, made the finding after tests on 25 students over several months. Researchers believe that it is the sugars, salts, and bubbles in a beer that may help people absorb fluids more quickly.

Lance and I will soon be embarking on the good ship Entrepreneur. Lance gets to pick the scantily clad Rule 5 spokeswoman. We will soon be multi-bazillionaires if the Trog doesn't drink up the profits.


Whaddaygottasay about your newly obsolete, wussie sports drink now, Gatordoug?

Obama, Czars, and Apostles

The Obama administration has more czars that Russia ever had.

The Obama administration has become quite bi-czarre.

Can Obama be renamed Czar-czar Gabor?

I know, I know. That's pretty bad. I'm being czardonic and I'm czarry for being so czarcastic!

The only thing stranger is the response of MSM members to Obama. He's even bigger than the Beatles.

The grand prize goes to Evan Thomas via Newsbusters:

Newsweek editor Evan Thomas brought adulation over President Obama’s Cairo speech to a whole new level on Friday, declaring on MSNBC: "I mean in a way Obama’s standing above the country, above – above the world, he’s sort of God."

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares Obama. "As the heavens are higher that the earth, so my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

Obama works in mysterious ways.

Whaddayagonnado?

Impeach Obama- Separation of church and state!

This Time Bush Has Gone Too Far

In 2002, President Bush signed an order allowing the NSA to

rapidly monitor the phone calls and other communications of people in the United States believed to have contact with suspected associates of al Qaeda and other terrorist groups overseas...

President Bush was spying on American citizens. But these were dangerous times. American was under the threat of even more terrorist attack. Also in danger was American freedom being lost.

Due to the 9/11 attacks and the continued threat, I was in support of the temporary monitoring plan. But, as usual with government programs, the plan bloated far beyond all reasonable parameters. Now this plan is being used against American citizens in order to really eat their lunches (and breakfasts):

Otu-Nyarko, a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Connecticut, has focused his research inside the poultry barn at the University of Connecticut, where microphones hang from the ceiling and every cluck, bawk and pok is recorded. He and Professor Michael Darre are trying to understand the language of chickens.

"This is not 'let's translate chicken to English,'" Darre said. "We are trying to find out their language and what their vocalizations mean."

There's a purpose behind this research, with great implications for the welfare of America's chickens. The ultimate goal is to create a black box of chicken linguistics that would monitor chatter in the hen house.

Sure... for the welfare of America... for the children (and chicks).

I say, "Impeach Bush now!"

I'm glad to see that at least President Obama is doing something about it. With the national debt climbing as it is, pretty soon American citizens will not have the money to afford phones or interwebs for the NSA to monitor.

Should Obama Accept His Nobel Peace Prize Now...

or wait until they actually hand it to him?

It is only a matter of time before President Barack Hussein will be receiving the Nobel Peace Prize for bringing peace to the Middle East. Although the desired peace has not yet come to fruition, the President has proceeded farther toward that goal than any human ever has. And there remains only one step to be taken to bring true and lasting peace there.

President Obama has put into motion a brilliant plan. The first two phases have brought the Middle East to the brink of peace and the third will seal the deal.Here are the first two steps summated:

1) "One of the great strengths of the United States, is ... we have a very large Christian population -- we do not consider ourselves a Christian nation..." (And we apologize for our buildings that attacked your citizens who had commandeered those planes on 9/11.)

2) “And one of the points I want to make is, is that if you actually took the number of Muslim Americans, we’d be one of the largest Muslim countries in the world.”

Conservative writers have consulted cold, unfeeling statisticians and claimed that the President's statements are purely bull. They come up with the fact that the United States' population considers itself more that 2/3 Christian and less than 1% Muslim. How can the President hope to get away with such foolishness?

Of course, they never stopped to consider the hearts and minds of the Middle Eastern Muslims who are by now thinking that perhaps America isn't so bad after all and that they should immediately stop all plans for terror attacks there.

But the greatest wisdom of Obama is yet to come. After acceptance of the first two premises, the third will slide right in and complete the peace puzzle.

3) Israel, which is 16% Muslim, is therefore also a Muslim nation.

Immediately all fatwahs and calls to jihad will be recalled because Muslims never fight or attack Muslim nations.

Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revalation
And the mind's true liberation

Middle East peace.

Nobel Peace Prize.

Raise your hands and sway. Flick your Bics.

When the caliphate is in Obama's House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the age of Abarryus
The age of Abarryus
Abarryus!
Abarryus!

How Do You Celebrate National Donut Day?

We patriotic Americans celebrate National Donut Day on the first Friday of June each year.

National Doughnut Day started in 1938 as a fund raiser for the Chicago Salvation Army. Their goal was to help the needy during the Great Depression, and to honor the Salvation Army "Lassies" of World War I, who served doughnuts to soldiers behind the front lines in France.

Soon after the US entrance into WWI in 1917, the Salvation Army sent a fact-finding mission to France. The mission concluded that "huts" that could serve baked goods, provide writing supplies and stamps, and provide a clothes-mending service, would serve the needs of US enlisted men. Six staff members per hut should include four female volunteers who could "mother" the boys.

(The canteens/social centres that were established by the Salvation Army in the United States near army training centers were called "huts".)

About 250 Salvation Army volunteers went to France. Because of the difficulties of providing freshly-baked goods from huts established in abandoned buildings near to the front lines, two Salvation Army volunteers (Ensign Margaret Sheldon and Adjutant Helen Purviance) came up with the idea of providing doughnuts. These are reported to have been an "instant hit", and "soon many soldiers were visiting Salvation Army huts". Margaret Sheldon wrote of one busy day "Today I made 22 pies, 300 doughnuts, 700 cups of coffee."1

We always attend the Donut Parade.

Here's what I got Linda for a Donut Day gift.

I got these for Lance last year, but he forewent the USB port and ate them instead.

The Humor & The Grim Reality

According to CNN Money.com:

'World's cheapest car' coming to US

"It will need to meet all emission and crash standards and so we hope in the next two years we will be offering such a vehicle in the U.S," Ratan Tata told a panel at the Cornell Global Forum on Sustainable Global Enterprise late Wednesday.

The company plans to offer a European version of the car, which costs about $2,300, in 2011.

We can have more fun with this little guy than anything since Chevrolet tried to sell the Nova to the Hispanic community.

"Hey, Amigo, you trying to sell me a car whose name in Spanish is 'No Go?'

The 2011 Tata Nano:

From the lost episodes of 'Leave it to Beaver':

Eddie Haskell at the Cleaver front door, 'Ding-dong'.

Mrs. Cleaver: "Why hello, Eddie. Wally's upstairs. He'll be right down. Did you see our two brand new cars in the driveway?"

Eddie: "Why yes, Mrs. Cleaver and I must say that you have a very nice set of Tatas."


New Ford F150 commercial:

Howie Long: "What's ya drivin' there, buddy?"

Wussie guy: "The new Tata Nano, a second vehicle for, ya know, truckers."

Howie: "You'd take that toy out of the driveway?"

Wuss: "Yeah, it has all the required safety features. You know, for truckers."

Howie: "Sure... well, tata."


This cheap import could provide inexpensive transportation for thousands of low income Americans as well as those just starting out. It could help provide the opportunity to expand one's present limits economically and grow beyond them.

The reality, however, will be quite different. The key is found in the sentence, "It will need to meet all emission and crash standards."

Since the Obama Administration, the Democrats, and the concerned civilian population embodied in the U.A.W. leadership are so dedicated to the well-being of the poor, who would benefit so greatly by this vehicle, they will make certain that this car indeed meets all modern crash and emission standards. These leaders are only concerned for the safety of the poor and don't want the poor to bear the guilty burden of contributing to anthropocentric global warming.

After all this is said and done, the new Tata Nano could be purchased off the showroom floor for a mere $23,000.

(H.T. Lucianne.com.)

Pregnant Couches Will Eat Just About Anything

But their labor and delivery are the envy of the maternity world.

A quick lunch, then have a baby.


(H.T. TigerHawk.)

Sotomayor Ineligible to Judge Constitutional Issues

Judge Sonia Sotomayor in 2001: “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life.”

Since the signers of the Declaration of Independence and the signers at the Constitutional Convention were all white males, a wise Latina woman would not be able to equitably judge on Constitutional matters, no matter what the riches of her experiences were.

However, I know this doctor in Bangkok who will offer a 2-for-1 deal on a sex change and tattoo removal of that "La Raza" tramp stamp/arse antlers/slag tag.

Obama: I would like to introduce my newest nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court. Ladies and gentlemen, Judge Sanjay Singhmayor.

New I.R.S. Software Leaked

UPI:

Tampa, FL- Ralph and Diana Salgado said their water bill usually falls between $21 and $110 each month, but their July 2008 bill from the Tampa Water Department totaled $21,600, indicating that 3.5 million gallons of water were used by the couple during that month, The Tampa (Fla.) Tribune reported Tuesday.

"They just billed us; they didn't even question it," Diana Salgado said.

The Tampa Water Department stated that the error was due to the early leak of I.R.S. Beta software intended to lessen Obama Administration's accrued national debt.

An Administration spokesman, requesting anonymity, stated, "This software was in alignment with the President's call to sacrifice subsequent generations, er... sacrifice for subsequent generations and was not intended to go viral until the latter part of President Obama's second term."

(H.T. Dissecting Leftism.)

Negotiating Without Preconditions, Which Are Nouns, But...

U.S. to Respond to North Korea with ‘Strongest Possible Adjectives' ....

Obama: We are Prepared to Consult Thesaurus ....

One day after North Korea launched a successful test of a nuclear weapon, President Obama said that the United States was prepared to respond to the threat with "the strongest possible adjectives."

In remarks to reporters at the White House, Mr. Obama said that North Korea should fear the "full force and might of the United States' arsenal of adjectives" and called the missile test "reckless, reprehensible, objectionable, senseless, egregious and condemnable."

Standing at the President's side, Vice President Joseph Biden weighed in with some tough adjectives of his own, branding North Korean President Kim Jong-Il "totally wack and illin'."

Later in the day, Defense Secretary Robert Gates called the North Korean nuclear test "supercilious and jejune," leading some in diplomatic circles to worry that the U.S. might be running out of appropriate adjectives with which to craft its response.

But President Obama attempted to calm those fears, saying that the United States was prepared to "scour the thesaurus" to come up with additional adjectives and was "prepared to use adverbs" if necessary.

"Let's be clear: we are not taking adverbs off the table," Mr. Obama said. "If the need arises, we will use them forcefully, aggressively, swiftly, overwhelmingly and commandingly."

(Laughingly lifted from the usually solemn, grim, somber, sober, & sepulchral Dr. John Ray.)

Redneck Fire Alarm

From Don Surber:



Related story:

Connecticut Post:

Shortly before 5:30 Sunday evening, Clemons, formerly Georgette Fogary, had just been married to Charles Clemons and was being driven from Testo's restaurant where the reception was held when she spotted smoke coming from the Eitelberg's home.

A North End family was trapped in their home Sunday, flames licking at the walls when suddenly their savior appeared, charging through the thick curtain of smoke in a wedding dress.

"The car windows were open and I smelled popcorn. I'm from Georgia and knew what that meant."

Grandpa John's Backyard Wild Kingdom

Squirrel showing Republicans how to defend Conservative principles.
(Via an e-mail)