Lance Skunked by Deer, Buffaloed by Turkey

Lance, inspired by Randy, has returned to his old tricks. He lays down the gauntlet and Chris hits a few out of the park. Serr8d also enters the fray.

I got somethin' ta say as well:

Cosmetic Surgery

POLITICO:

ACORN, the troubled community service organization, recently considered changing its name in a bid to rehabilitate its image, according to an internal memo obtained by POLITICO.

The document, which will be released Tuesday as part of a Republican congressional forum on ACORN, illustrates the internal deliberation the group has undergone after a year of embarrassing scandals.

Yes, I think they are due for an upgrade:

Organization of Community Organizations for Reform Now

OCORN

That oughta do it. I wonder if they will have to pay the tax for this elective cosmetic surgery.

(H.T. Big Government.)

Peace Offering to Carol

It seems as though I have not only gotten Carol's dander up, but her hackles as well. Was it something I said?

So, in order to make a difference and do my part to bring World peace, I am setting out a peace offering. To make amends and show my support for her beloved Alabama Crimson Tide, I am going to show my support for their quest for victory against the Florida Gators in this weekend's big game:

Roll, Tide, Roll

(Now that everything is 'all better,' I think I did a fine job of being 'the bigger man' and smoothing out a couple of rough spots.)

Speaking Truth to Glower

As has been historically the case, truthful reporting draws much criticism. These detractors often are in the form of captious ad hominem or ad wisconsinem attacks.

Recently, I posted a straightforward report of Home Depot's subtle dig at S.E.C. athletes in its television advertising campaign. Although it was Home Depot calling these players tools and I was just reporting that fact, I have been the recipient of some very vicious personal and scurrilous attacks. But, since I grew up with three older siblings and am now married, I am quite used to such attacks.

Carol of No Sheeples Here has committed egregious Grandpa Steve abuse here. As an Alabama fan, she attempts to prove that the Crimson Tide are worthy by citing MSM polls that place both Alabama and Florida on top of the nation. Well, we all know that the MSM idolize President Obama and defend Anthropocentric Global Warming against all contrary evidence so why would we expect them to report football rankings with any greater accuracy?

Carol then commits to ad wisconsinem attacks by snarking our propensities to call the Packers 'We,' thinking the American South means Chicago, our parties to celebrate indoor plumbing, our love of the Polka, our year long winters, and our love of pumping Bambi full of lead. The Packers are publicly owned; anyone can buy stock. We sport bumper stickers that say 'Go Back to Chicago.' Indoor plumbing is good except when you want to write your name in a snowbank. 'In heaven there is no beer, that's why we drink it here' is classic American music. Our winters are the data that global warmists try to hide. And Bambi is delectable.

Alabama, on the other hand, is another story. Since Carol puts so much weight on MSM opinion, I will look to Hollywood. Forrest Gump was just on cable yesterday so I know everything there is to know about the state of Alabama and Alabama football. The state motto is 'Life is like a half-full bottle of beer with the label torn off. You never know what you're going to get.'

When Forrest Gump began his transcontinental run and crossed the state line into Mississippi, the mean I.Q.'s of both states went down.

Another abuser has been GatorDoug of The Daley Gator. In this post he declares that the S.E.C. 'Don't Need No Stinkin' Badgers.' In it he claims that, although there are great rivalries among the different S.E.C. teams, they form a sort of family that will defend each other against outside critics. I think it's a little like inbreeding. Soon I expect he will begin referring to himself as a hyphenated S.E.C.-American. We, here in Wisconsin, consider all conferences as Americans and worthy of the same abuse we would heap on a member of our immediate families.

Just as Stacy McCain, an Alabama fan, is a member in good standing in The Sons of Confederate Veterans, many up in this neck of the woods consider themselves as 'Sons of the Iron Brigade.'

I must also say after bantering back and forth with Carol, "Those Southern girls are as tough as nails and fight as tenaciously as bulldogs, claw like tigers, are as sneaky as gators, and have the long memories of elephants!"

How 'Bout Them Apples?

We Swiss are pioneers. Now we have even made a great breakthrough in stem cell research.

A rare Swiss apple is being hailed in the cosmetic and fashion world as an exciting anti-ageing breakthrough – even Michelle Obama is rumoured to be a fan.

Used in creams and serums, stem cells from the Uttwiler Spätlauber apple are said to protect skin cell regeneration and so delay the onset of wrinkles.

Here, lady, eat one of these Uttwiler Spätlauber apples and rub the uneaten core over your entire body.

And voilà!

The Uttwiler Spätlauber is also purported to be the apple on Wilhelm Tell's son's head. Tell was clinically blind and suffering from later stages of rheumatoid arthritis at the time and could barely even pick up a bow and arrow.


UPDATE: The Swiss have long been sending Uttwiler Spätlauber apples to Arctic regions to save the polar bears. Since then, the bear population has increased four-fold.

Making Science a Joke

There was a climate scientist from Nantucket
Who gathered declining data and said...

"The early scientist believed in the uniformity of natural causes. What they did not believe in was the uniformity of natural causes in a closed system. That little phrase makes all the difference in the world. It makes the difference between natural science and a science that is rooted in naturalistic philosophy. It makes all the difference between what I would call modern science and what I would call modern modern science. It is important to notice that this is not a failing of science as science, but rather that the uniformity of natural causes in a closed system has become the dominant philosophy among scientists."- Francis Schaeffer in Escape from Reason.

It appears that now we have taken the next step into a new era of post-modern science. This involves even a further closing of the system that excludes any contrary data or opinions of skeptical scientists in favor of the promotion of a political or philosophical agenda.

But, at least, we still have serious science performed in some circles:

Scientific tests prove when you drink Dr. Pepper slow, the 23 flavors taste even better.[...] Trust me. I'm a doctor.

Home Depot Nails It

Doug of The Daley Gator, Stacy of The Other McCain, and Carol of No Sheeples Here are having an intra-conference spat about the upcoming S.E.C. Championship game next week. Stacy and Carol are Alabama fans while Doug is a Florida fan. They seem to think that this game is tantamount to the national championship as they consider the S.E.C. to be the top conference in the nation.

What they fail to realize is that the B.C.S. computer model is the spittin' image of the University of East Anglia's Climate Research Unit's anthropocentric global warming model program. It's rigged to help the S.E.C. keep a high self-esteem.

Nonetheless, one of the regular sponsors of S.E.C. games is Home Depot and they are sharp enough to get it. They sponsor a segment called 'Tools to Victory.' One thing is for sure. There are no shortage of TOOLS in the S.E.C.



Pat of And So it Goes in Shreveport is an L.S.U. fan, but is keeping a very low profile despite all the Tiger TOOLS in Baton Rouge.

Has Burt Prelutsky Gone Over the Edge?

In his latest article on Big Hollywood, Burt Prelutsky treads some dangerous ground:

Getting back to Obama, how is it that there are still people around who regard him as a great orator instead of just a cheese-head who requires a teleprompter just to say “Hello,” and, for good measure, has this really annoying habit of turning…….every sentence into two distinct parts? But perhaps I shouldn’t be too surprised. After all, apparently there’s a sizable segment of the population that is unable to tell that a can of beer is cold unless it turns blue.

I don't think so, Burt!

Besides, if you bow to some other head of state that sharp edge will chop him or her right between the eyes.

You Gotta Break a Few Eggs to Make a Rogue Omelet

A copy of Sarah Palin's Going Rogue- $22.00

Waiting in line to get her autograph in it- Several hours

Making egg throwing protester buy all the copies he damaged- Priceless!

(H.T. Say Anything Blog.)

Which Shoulder Are You Listening to, Izzy?

Such a little Angel! I wonder what she's dreaming about?



"I hope cousin Hunter gets this for Christmas!"


"When he's around not everyone pays attention to me all of the time!"

Wise Advice of the Day

Sheer genius:

You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink or the bathtub/shower.

(H.T. Wicked Thoughts.)

Tiger Woods Displays a Bad Slice

After Tiger Woods' car accident today, several witnesses who weren't there stated that George W. Bush ran him off the road because he hates Cablinasian people.

Pee-er Reviewed Research All Wee-Weed Up

There has been a lot of flap about the e-mails and memos absconded from the University of East Anglia Climate Research Unit. The major problem lies in the attempt by non-scientists to understand the verbiage. This correspondence relies on a highly technical vernacular that is easily misunderstood by the unwashed masses. Specialized words such as trick, fudge, cheat, hide, lie, and manipulate do not mean the same in climatology lingo as they do in regular language.

Therefore, Anthropocentric Global Warming is a fact beyond dispute and the discussion is over.

Without Draconian measures through the passage of Cap & Trade and without the Copenhagen Mob gaining control of the whole world we will end up with this result in the near future:



What will you say to your children and grandchildren when they ask why you left them this doomed Earth when listening to Al Gore would have left them a Utopian planet with butterflies, puppies, kittens, and ice cream?

Well, huh? Do I hear crickets chirping?

Comment of the Day

I wanted to excerpt a post by Jerry on Commonsense & Wonder, but I decided I had to use the whole post:

We've used the term ChiComs to refer to the Chinese Communists but oddly enough it also describes the Chicago Communists now running the con try.

Jerry, I hope I haven't crossed the 'fair use' line.

Obama/Pelosi/ReidCare Preview

As we gaze into our crystal ball...



we can see the future in Universal Health Care:

Unannounced visits by inspectors from the Care Quality Commission found blood spattered on curtains and chairs in the A&E ward, a catheter bag on the floor, poorly-trained nurses and patients treated on trolleys.

A commode was soiled under the seat, nurses were failing to feed frail elderly people and patients had pressure sores.
The key findings (graphic)

There was no paediatric nurse for most of the time so children were not getting the best care.

The mortality rate in the A&E ward was 6.1 per cent in 2008, more than a third higher than the national average of 4.4 per cent.[...]

But certainly the management has paid the price in the past.

'We're sick and tired of NHS managers and senior staff walking away unscathed when families are left with a life sentence of grief.'

Wait a minute. Is this health care or Cap and Trade?

Science Performed with an Agenda

You're out digging around in the dirt one day and you uncover some old bones:



A little more digging and you find more:



You piece them together and fill in the blanks areas:



You include the data in your computer model to complete the picture:



And, voilà, you introduce the world to the East Anglia Piltdown Man.

Presidential Pardon

My first scan of this article's title gave me the impression that it talked about something else:

Obama's first pardon: A turkey named 'Courage'

I initially thought that the President had forgiven some faux pas made by a member of the mainstream media since they are turkeys and one often ended his broadcasts with the single word 'courage.'

It turns out, however, that the President actually pardoned the turkey, named Courage, that was scheduled to be Thanksgiving dinner.

Teaching the Children

I take my grandfatherly responsibilities seriously. Imparting my great wisdom to future generations is one of the most important of them.


Chilluns... ten hut!... Repeat after me as we boldly march into the future.

Pad-a-fake, pad-a-fake, climate man.
Fake me a stat as fast as you can;
Pad it and fudge it or hide it from me,
And raise energy taxes as high as can be.

Ya done good, kiddoes! Let's play your favorite video...

The Monsters of the Midway Exposed

If Randy Moss gets fined $10,000 for shooting a fake moon to Packer fans...:



and Titan owner Bud Adams gets a $250,000 fine for shooting the bird at Bills fans...



what should the Bears' Devin Hester get for doing this on national TV?



(H.T. Don Surber.)

Donations Requested

In an E-mail from:

Mitch Stewart
Director
Organizing for America

Right now, Sarah Palin is on a highly publicized, nationwide book tour,
attacking President Obama and his plan for health reform at every turn.

It's dangerous. Remember, this is the person who coined the term "Death Panels"
-- and opened the flood gates for months of false attacks by special interests
and partisan extremists.

Whatever lie comes next will be widely covered by the media, then constantly
echoed by right-wing attack groups and others who are trying to defeat reform.[...]

We need to be prepared. And we're counting on you help. Can you chip in $5?

Is a copy of Going Rogue sent for that $5.00 donation?

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Remember the dog named Faith.

Christmas Decorations

Bah, humbug!

Daytime closeup of rooftop Santa:

Lawn sign: "Happy Holidays, America. Here's your present."

(H.T. top photo, GatorDoug from Theo Spark.)

Nobel Peace Prize... Tiny 'Taters!

President Obama's Most Coveted Prize:

Diplomatic Faux Pas

"They don't use Wagyu Kobe Japanese beef in the Whopper."

(H.T. Real Debate Wisconsin.)

Monday Night Football- Snark of the Day

While trying to fill time during Monday night's football yawner between the Cleveland Browns and the Baltimore Ravens the subject veered into the league's regular use of throwback uniforms. Jon Gruden stirred the bad blood between the two teams by saying,

"If the Ravens wore throwback jerseys, they'd be the Cleveland Browns."

Dig that knife in a little deeper, Jon. Art Modell is already the most hated man in Cleveland.





(Jon Gruden, AKA 'Chucky.')

Golf & I.Q.

Mark Finkelstein reports through NewsBusters:

Joe Scarborough:

I know Howard Dean. I've spoken to Howard Dean. It is such a disservice to compare--forget ideology, conservatives!--I think Howard's way left and all that. But it is such a disservice to compare Sarah Palin in any aspect to Howard Dean. Yes, because that is an insult to Howard Dean's intelligence.

Joe, I.Q. is not like golf. A lower score is not better.

Eagle Scouts Unveil New Badge

Scout Kevin Anderson of Allentown, PA, is the first in the nation to earn this award. Jarrett Renshaw reports:

In pursuit of an Eagle Scout badge, Kevin Anderson, 17, has toiled for more than 200 hours hours over several weeks to clear a walking path in an east Allentown park.

Little did the do-gooder know that his altruistic act would put him in the cross hairs of the city's largest municipal union.

Nick Balzano, president of the local Service Employees International Union, told Allentown City Council Tuesday that the union is considering filing a grievance against the city for allowing Anderson to clear a 1,000-foot walking and biking path at Kimmets Lock Park.
"We'll be looking into the Cub Scout or Boy Scout who did the trails," Balzano told the council.

Here you go, Kevin:


In another unprecedented action, the Boy Scouts for America issued honorary badges to James O'Keefe and Hannah Giles:



(H.T. Michelle Malkin and Paco Enterprises.)

Of the Children, By the Children, For the Children

I believe that children are our future.
Propagandize them well and let them lead the way.

Or perhaps we should teach them well, let them gain experience, and wait their turn.

(H.T. One's Observations.)

Giving Honor Where Honor is Due

The President has been receiving a lot of criticism for bowing before the Japanese Emperor Akihito during a visit to Japan this week. The criticism is unwarranted, however. President Obama has a long tradition of honoring that which he considers honorable.

A show of respect for the Japanese Emperor:

Honoring the honorable Saudi King Abdullah:

Candidate Obama showing his great respect during the National Anthem:

President Obama's respect for America is emulated by a young supporter:

Please note that the President is keeping a watchful eye on his teleprompter.

Congressional Response to Health Care 'Crisis'

Here's our solution:

Here, America, make a sandwich!

The Neck Bone Connected to the Head Bone...

The sculptor, artist, and luminary Antony Gormley has really got it goin' on. He outlines the answers to all our problems.

My idea to change the world is to dispense with your shoes; dispense with your socks to get in touch with the Earth. Get your most feeling part of skin in touch with all those different surfaces. It can be carpeting; it can be concrete; it can be earth; it can be grass.

The idea with this really is a feature of making the world a better place; a kind of act of solidarity with those that perhaps don't have the choice whether they wear shoes or not.

But the fact is that our feet connect with our brains and they're an amazing perceptual instrument thru which we engage with weather, time, temperature; with all the different surfaces and textures of our world.

This is a time of Global Warming. Through our feet, I think, we can begin to feel it. Through our feet, I think, we can begin to be one people standing through gravity on one Earth.

With his head bone solidly articulating with his rectum bone, Mr. Gormley must be angling for some czar position in the Obama Administation or perhaps to replace the present Speaker of the House of Representatives.








(H.T. Fausta's Blog.)

American Imperialism

The President's plan unveiled:

"It is wonderful to be back in Oregon (the Pacific coast)," Obama said. "Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go. Alaska and Hawaii, I was not allowed to go to even though I really wanted to visit, but my staff would not justify it."1

Where did those extra states come from?

Well, now we know.

TOKYO — Trying to reassure allies and rivals, President Barack Obama billed himself Saturday as "America’s first Pacific president," promising the nations of Asia "a new era of engagement with the world based on mutual interests and mutual respect."2

Now More Than Ever

Michael Socolow marks a 40 year anniversary in the Bangor Daily News.

It remains the most influential indictment of American journalism ever made. Forty years ago today, this famous figure began railing against the corporate media. “A broader spectrum of national opinion should be represented among the commentators of the network news,” he argued, explaining that “men who can articulate other points of view should be brought forward, and the American people should be made aware of the trend toward the monopolization of the great public information vehicles and the concentration of more and more power over public opinion in fewer and fewer hands.”...

This spokesman for democratic media reform was none other than the Republican vice president of the United States, Spiro Agnew.

Reporter Lance Morrow in also observed in 1996, “...issues of media bias, arrogance and unaccountability that are still banging around in the American mind.”

Some Agnew timeless gems:

“A spirit of national masochism prevails, encouraged by an effete corps of impudent snobs who characterize themselves as intellectuals.”

“...have never done a productive thing in their lives,”... “They take their tactics from Fidel Castro and their money from daddy.”

“...we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism...”

“...pusillanimous pussyfooters,” “vicars of vacillation,” and “the hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.” Democrats are “radic-libs” and “ideological eunuchs...”

“...tiny and closed fraternity of privileged men, elected by no one...”

Back to Sokolow:

Were Agnew alive today, he would undoubtedly be pleased by his contribution to the current media environment. Never have the American media been bombarded by such constant criticism — from both the right and the left. The motivations, assumptions and biases of professional journalists are closely and constantly examined, and the authority of their work has correspondingly eroded.

This was Agnew's ultimate goal; he envisioned a future where journalists would be called down “from their ivory towers to enjoy the rough and tumble of public debate.” Relishing the cacophony and name-calling incited by his speech, Spiro Agnew would have loved the blogosphere. For better or worse, we live in his world. (emphasis mine)

(H.T. Instapundit.)

Farce: The Final Frontier

No moldy cheddar, but...

NASA's LCROSS probe discovered beds of water ice at the lunar south pole when it impacted the moon last month, mission scientists announced today.

Hubble image

White House Counsel, Greg Craig, Getting Tire Tread Tattoo

It has been reported that White House Counsel Greg Craig will be forcibly bussed out in favor of Mr. Anita Dunn, AKA Bob Bauer.

White House scuttlebutt has it that some Craig memos were discovered that caused President Obama to shudder. One memo reportedly stated:

I am planning to send agents into the White House of Barack Obama, remove him, put him in a van, take him to a place where there is an airplane, fly him to Andrews Air Force Base, where he will be reunited with his relatives and flown back to Kenya.

Elian Gonzalez could not be reached for comment.

Bob Bauer, on the other hand, will prod the Justice Department to find a means by which to prosecute FOX News for openly publishing videos of his wife's speeches.

Islam vs. Islamism

I promise that I won't be publishing Chris Matthews or Hardball segments very often, but I wanted to feature Dr. Zuhdi Jasser, the chairman of the American Islamic Forum for Democracy, a devout Muslim:



The Left has long feared a phantom Christian Theocracy. Dr. Jasser outlines the reality of an Islamist Theocracy desired by a good percentage of even American Muslims.

Here is the A.I.F.D. homepage.

(Many thanks to William Jacobson of Legal Insurrection for linking this as Post of the Day.)

(Thanks as well to Smitty of The Other McCain for the link, but especially for featuring Dr. Jasser and his critically important work.)

What the Heck are a Hot Steam Porter Shave, a Back Facial, and a Body Polish?

We received an e-mail from Grandpa Jerry the other day that included an advertisement for a Phoenix area Salon & Spa. My first thought was that he was angling for one of the offered holiday gift card packages offered in the ad, but realized that he wasn't planning to travel to Arizona any time soon. Besides, the salon didn't offer any major plastic surgery packages so what would be the point?

Anyway, he asked about the model pictured in this portion of the ad:



It finally dawned on me that this is Rachel, who, after many years of modern living should be taking on the last name of Burri. From Wisconsin to California, to Arizona she has been with Chris, Grandpa Jerry's son.

I have 7 nephews. Chris is the only non-twin in that crew. Therefore, his girl is not as glamorous as the rest of my nieces nor as smart. But she tries hard. Beside the modeling, Rachel is close to getting her Ph.D. in psychology at the U. of AZ.

Rachel chose psychology because she saw the state of the world and wanted to make a difference. She also knew the Burri family so had a very high standard toward which she could direct the unwashed masses.

The modeling? She's been doing that for a long time and realizes that if ObamaCare passes, she will have something to fall back on.

Is Tiger Woods an Eco-Terrorist?

Tiger Woods is a great danger to the planet.

It was found that during decomposition, the golf balls dissolved to release a high quantity of heavy metals. Dangerous levels of zinc were found in the synthetic rubber filling used in solid core golf balls. When submerged in water, the zinc attached itself to the ground sediment and poisoned the surrounding flora and fauna.

Tiger Woods must be stopped... for the children.

LifeBloodSucker

A good illustration found on Moonbattery:

Federal Deficits

Carter's At It Again

Ling, that is. He reports:

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden announced the Stimulus Package will fund domestic jihad operations conducted by Islamic terrorists, counting them as 'jobs created.'

I'm not sure he's joking this time.

Wanted: Empty Suit

(Click to read)

(H.T. Real Debate Wisconsin & Boots & Sabers.)

Oppressors & Victims

J.R. Dunn pens an excellent article titled The Left and Terror in American Thinker.

Excerpts:

[...]The American left is unparalleled at wriggling out of deadly cul-de-sacs of its own creation. Consider how many times since the Vietnam War this country's left has involved itself in activities that in saner epochs would have resulted in lengthy jail sentences. Support for the Sandinistas and the Salvadoran FMLN, the Nuclear Freeze movement (a KGB operation from start to finish), cooperation with Palestinian and related terrorist groups. In each case, the left continued its involvement until the bitter end; and in each case skipped off with no consequences. This offhand attitude toward sedition has its roots in the excesses of the witch-hunt era. The aura of martyrdom donned by the left since the early 50s has bought them a free pass for over half a century.[...]

What motivates this kind of behavior? The answer lies in the leftist worldview, which is simplicity itself. (It has to be simple, designed as it is to be comprehended by workers, peasants, and college students.) The world is divided into oppressors and victims, with history a dialectical struggle between the two. The oppressor is anyone who holds power, the victims everyone else. By definition, the U.S., as the worlds reigning power, is an oppressor state. In fact, the greatest of all oppressor states, worse than Assyria, worse than Rome, worse than Hitler's Germany, because it has craftily convinced much of the world that it is no such thing.

As for the Jihadis, they are victims in arms -- revolutionaries acting against the imperial state, like the Viet Cong and the Sandinistas before them. Islam, reactionary politics, contempt for women -- none of that matters, as long as they are active against the common enemy. And the role of the Western leftist is to support and assist these heroes, exactly as occurred with all the revolutionary movements in the past. By "speaking out", by "defying authority", and above all by undercutting any efforts to combat the new revolutionary vanguard. But what of the real victims, you ask, all the innocents left scattered like broken, burnt dolls in New York, and Bali, and London, and Madrid? "Little Eichmanns", in the immortal words of the renowned plagiarist, Ward Churchill. Or perhaps you prefer ancient the leftist slogan: "You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.[...]

Even the omelet gets burned.

(H.T. Lucianne.com.)

Both Bush & Obama Acted to Protect Us from our Enemies

After the World Trade Center attack on 9/11, the President Bush administration determined that it was masterminded and funded by Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan. Bush went to the U.S. Congress to seek permission to retaliate by whatever means necessary. This ultimately resulted in our present wars and occupations of both Iraq and Afghanistan.

After the recent Fort Hood attack, the President Obama administration determined that it was masterminded and funded by Nidal Malik Hasan, a psychiatrist in the United States. Obama went to the U.S. Congress to seek permission to retaliate by whatever means necessary. This ultimately resulted in our present wars against American Capitalism and attempted occupation of the American health care system.

Paul Ryan Has the Floor

Listen up!

Here's Hoping a Pack of Blue Dogs are Pissing on Pelosi's Leg

And Telling Her It's Raining

(Original post from July 27, 2009)

I remember to this day,
When Pelosi lead the way,
And how it stuck within our craws.
After the ObamaCare slime,
The voters at home made us say, 'No!'
Angry e-mails told me so.
Oh how I wish
I can get back to Washington one more time.

Me and you and a dog named Blue.
Travellin' and livin' off your taxes.
Me and you and a dog named Blue
How I love driving a free Lexus.
(Apologies to Lobo.)

Quote of the Day

From that chauvinist, sexist pig:

Seriously: women should NOT be allowed to vote.

That's what I'm talkin' about!

Shout Out

"I want to give a shout out to Grandpa Steve, a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient."

Excuse me, Mr. President, it was a participation ribbon in a junior high art class ceramics contest. My entry was a... er, um... an ashtray. But I did earn a 'Road Guard' ribbon at Fort Leonard Wood in 1971.

Elle Aime Le TrogloPundit

The computer hackers in our secret basement laboratory recently 'visited' Carla Bruni's laptop (computer, you perv!) and, as usual, found her reading The TrogloPundit.

J'heart Le Trog! XOXOXO!

"You go on to bed, my darling, I want to do a little reading."

ObamaCare, Cap &Trade...

Sorry, kid, there's a 3 month waiting list.

(From TheChive)

Have a crack at it; AutoMotivator.

(H.T. Linkiest.)

I See a White House Invitation in the Works

President Obama declared that, in the Fort Hood shootings, we should not draw any conclusions until we have all the facts.

He could have added:

1) Any one of us would be pretty angry that infidels were in charge of key institutions in your own Muslim nation.

2) Police officer Kimberly Munley acted stupidly.

3) This country has a long history of Muslims being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately.

It is rumored that the President will invite Nidal Malik Hasan and Kimberly Munley up to the White House to discuss their differences over a goat's milk or two.

Big Sacrifices for the Cause

Ann Coulter on the elections of 2009

The biggest loser was President Obama, who campaigned tirelessly for Corzine, even giving up golf on several occasions and skipping a quarter-million-dollar "date night" with Michelle to stump for the Democrat.

"He ain't heavy. He's my brother. Can anybody say that about Christie?"

When You Have a RINO on a Conservative Team

The Liberals are forced to punt. The Conservative agenda sees an opening, matriculates up the field, and runs to daylight...

Gatordoug is Really Pushing His Luck

The Daily Gator's Gatordoug is really cruisin' fer a bruisin' by thinking this is 'freaking funny.' Lance may send his three sons down to teach him some manners.

(Original by HippieCritic.)

And Lance just might send his daughter to look up Jill, the Pundette half of Pundit & Pundette for this diss, too.

It's so easy for the likes of Mr. Burri to complain about every little thing the government does.

What, did Lance get a job on FOX News or something? And who in the real world refers to him as 'Mr. Burri?'

Hand Me That Ad Swatter

More German engineering:


No flies were injured during the taping. However, 17 diseases were spread throughout the mall and 3 frogs choked to death on the banners.

(H.T. TigerHawk.)

It Was a Very Cold Day

It's the same old story. Husband comes home early. Adulterous wife is with lover. Lover scrambles naked to escape onto an air conditioning unit outside upper story apartment window. Yada, yada, yada.

Money quote from interloper:

"People are even laughing at how I look naked - but I have to point out it was a very cold day."

Shrinkage

(H.T. Wicked Thoughts.)