With Friends Like This...

My sociological, linguistic, and cultural researchers have been busy with their studies for several decades. They not only have followed the evolution during the times in which they have been living, but also have studied primary source documentation obtained that goes back to the very beginnings of our nation. Over the years they have mapped the many changes in customs, habits, and word usage in these United States.

One seemingly small but significant observation that they have brought to my attention. They have noted a movement in the force that has caused a change in the dominant spelling and pronunciation of bin Laden's first name. Not long ago the most numerous spelling and pronunciation of his name was Osama, but now the majority have been using Usama. It may certainly seem a very small thing, but the latent reasoning behind the change is what is most remarkable.

The behind-the-scenes push for this subtle change has come from the Progressive Democrats for this reasoning: When any meeting, whether it be sports, political, or otherwise, starts showing patriotic tendencies and some in the crowd begin chanting, "U.S.A., U.S.A." the Progressives can join right in chanting, "U.S.A.(ma), U.S.A. (ma)" appearing to be pro-American for the normal American's benefit, but, at the same time, showing the support for Usama and his cause that they have long ago become famous for.

Very clever, indeed.

Don't question our patriotism. We support the U.S.A.(ma) and the troops.