Star Wars IV: A New Hope- Updated

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. sound bite  Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope sound bites

Mythology Isn't Just for the Ancients Anymore

Obamomus- The Pinnacle of the Gods in the Progressive Hierarchy:

Obamomus is the Progressive god of ridicule and evil-spirited blame and unfair criticism. He mocks and ridicules American traditional values and exceptionalism. He blames former Republican Presidents and the majority of conservative leaning Americans.

Obamomus gained ascendancy through judging the handiwork of America's founding fathers. He became jealous of their accomplishments and ridiculed their labors in America's founding as well as the Constitution that they created.

Obamomus has many worshipers. Most of them are those who view Obamomus by the following critera:

Tiger Woods Pulls Out Early

"Oh, no, not another woman making claims against Tiger!"

"A golf tournament, you schlub!"

"Oh, that's very different. Never mind."

"But what is cervical ridiculitis?"

"It's radiculitis; inflammation of the nerve as it leaves the spinal cord and travels through the foramen of the cervical spine to particular parts of the upper body."

Breaking Sports News

BSPN: It is official. The long wait is over and the sporting world is abuzz. Steve Burri will be returning this season to play for the River Hills Slobberknockers in Janesville's Monday night softball league. The 40 year veteran shortstop was speculating retirement, or not, and skipped most of spring training with the team. He returned to play in the last pre-season game and booted ground balls in mid-season form. The only thing missing in his game were errant throws across the infield. He is confident that this will be rectified shortly.

Burri, who suffered a right shoulder injury in 1973 that has taken him to 13 emergency room trips in 5 states since, has altered his throwing motion to 3/4 sidearm. He has decreased his batter's box-to-first base time from 13 seconds down to 12-1/2. His vision has been recorrected and he will not be playing with the monovision strategy that he discovered will not work well in softball.

Steve told BSPN reporters that even Brett Favre had texted, begging to know if he was returning to Monday nights. Burri said that he returned a text telling Brett that he was out mowing the lawn, '...with a push mower, you wussie!'

As expected, there are no tickets available for the team's Monday night opening against Faith Community at Dawson Park.

Shahzad's Link to Tea Party Movement

Everyone knows that the Tea Party Movement was initiated to draw out violence from the silent majority. So whenever we see violence happening, we know that the silent leaders of the Bowel Movers are behind the scenes working feverishly to create mayhem in the forms of racism, sexism, antinomianism, homophobia, and xenophobic bigotry. They especially target this modern federal government since it is lead by an African-American, a woman, a homosexual, and Harry Reid, who appears to be of a totally different species.

The Tea Party's latest attempt to attack modern America was carried out by a man named Faisal Shahzad, a Pakistani who became a naturalized citizen about a year ago. Faisal was lured into the Tea Party Movement simply by its name. The Pakistanis love their tea. Even though Pakistan is quite poor, they import over 220 million dollars worth of tea each year.

Shahzad was easily recruited here in lower Manhattan:

Here is Faisal at a Tea Party protest:

And Conservative America has the audacity to claim that Faisal Shahzad had nothing to do with the Tea Party Movement despite this irrefutable proof.