As I was out snowblowing my driveway and sidewalk this morning an SUV stopped at the curb in front of me. The driver powered the passenger side window down to tell me that he was selling carbon offsets to save the planet from the global warming that I was causing. And since the carbon dioxide belching snowblower I was using was a Toro brand and 'toro' is 'bull' in Spanish, I had to buy greater credits for espousing the increase in bovine flatulence methane, a greenhouse gas. As I reached inside of my parka and fumbled for my Ruger 9mm I realized that I hadn't known the 0-60 mph pickup that those Janesville built Yukon XL Denalis had.
Faster Than a Speeding Bullet
I gotta get me one of those.