Friday, July 17, 2009

North Korean Test Missile Strikes Wisconsin Home

A North Korean missile struck a home near Mount Pleasant, Wisconsin, this afternoon, but failed to totally detonate its warhead. The prototype 'Oscar Mayer Jong Il' intercontinental ballistic missile spewed ketchup all over the place, but was not able to contaminate Racine County with its radioactive kimchi relish. The Obama administration blamed the homeowner, Nick Krupp, and his family for their anti-Asian whiteness. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton asked that the North Koreans forgive our arrogance and to please not do it again as the Krupp family is about to become very large taxpayers.

(AP Photo/Journal Times, Tom McCauley)


Ling Carter said...

I understand our missile defense system has been cut, leaving us only with a giant bun that failed to make the catch.

We dodged a close one.

Anonymous said...

I know this is a fake story because the NKDP uses mustard not ketchup on their OMJD ICBM delivery vehicles.

Steve Burri said...


You are correct, sir, about the mustard usage. However, my lab scientists found that the high altitude intercontinental travel at such high speeds coupled with anthropocentric global warming turned the yellow/brown mustard to ketchup red, so the initial report retained that error.

The blogprof said...

Kudos on getting a memorandum headline for this post, Steve! Woohoo!