Monday, November 07, 2005

Letter From Faithful Readers

Dear Steve,

We read your posts faithfully and consider them our sole lifeline to sanity in this world. Every morning we jump out of our beds early with great anticipation, just like Christmas morning, to see if you have again stuffed our computer stocking with your great wit and wisdom. We have never been disappointed. You are our hero.

We know that we can seek from you answers to any questions or problems that we have, since you are a great cyberfriend. At present, we are in a quandary. We are true Sci-Fi nerds and seek your great understanding concerning our 'technical' problem.

How do we set our laser printers to 'stun'?

We know you can help.

Nathaniel and Christopher

Dear Nat and Chris,

I am not sure about the answer, but I can direct you to some other nerds so dedicated to the craft that they really should be labeled 'geeks' or even 'spazzes'. So please try to contact either Lance Burri or Todd Pterodactyl for accurate answers to your query.

Back atcha,


tee bee said...

Good heavens, Steve - you're not going to let them leave with their laser printers still set on "kill"?!?! At least have them put the safety on!

Steve said...

Rats, I knew I should have directed them to your site! Dang!

Lance Burri said...

Naturally, I'm all in favor of everyone's right to carry a laser printer with a kill setting. Second Amendment guarantees that right.

However, in the interest of safety for all involved, it's important that we be familiar with our laser printers and know how to use them properly. So my advice to your correspondents, Steve, is to take a Printer Safety Course, and to read through a copy of the User Manual, which should contain the correct information.

Or, just take it out into the woods (you'll need a really long extension cord) and start pushing buttons at random. Dibs on the meat if you shoot anything.