The Authors of the Alito Hearing Questions

Wicked Thoughts revives some old 'profundities' as demonstrated by the athlete.

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, "Coach, I don't know and I don't care."

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."

I had coached girls basketball for over 10 years and can remember a couple of gems as well. Once during a timeout late in a game, I was outlining a strategy for our next offensive scheme. One of the new players then asked, "Offense... that's when we have the ball, right?"

Just before leaving for a game with our crosstown rivals, one player asked me if our team should 'put on our costumes now or wait 'til we get to the gym?'