PPD-- Pandemic Encephalic Avian Influenza

Gagdad Bob Godwin of One Cosmos tweeks the diagnostics of a mental disorder originated by John Moore. Godwin is a clinical psychologist.

DSM-IV 301.95 PROGRESSIVE PERSONALITY DISORDER, symptom excerpts:

1. Utopian thinking - A delusional belief that there exist simple, linear, side effect-free solutions to all social problems.

2. Anthroplastic ideation - The delusion that behavioral conditioning performed by the government or some other collective will cure all behavioral and social problems.

3. Anti-theistic rebellion - An emotional antagonism to the Judeo-Christian tradition, rooted in an abnormal persistence of adolescent rebellion (may also be related to the need to avoid counter-arguments that would question utopian, anthroplastic ideation).

4. Naturist delusion - The belief that mankind is evil and nature is benign.

5. Environmental spasm - Chaotic, unreasonable, or incoherent episodes of manic activity on behalf of the environment or "mother nature."

6. Control obsession - The tendency to strive for excessive control over others through government intrusion.

7. Racist/feminist hypocrisy - Passionate advocating of government-enforced discrimination based on sex or race, while aggressively proclaiming opposition to policies which are "racist" or "sexist."

8. Overemotional perception - Excessive concern with how a social action "looks" or "feels," to the exclusion of actual effects in the real world, in particular, any effects beyond the immediate.

9. Sexual dysfunction - Significant anxiety about sexual matters, manifested as:

--A. Obsession with sexual and gender roles.

--B. Passionate celebration of nontraditional sex roles and preferences.

--C. The compulsion to define individuals by their "sexual preference" and to design social policy as if all individuals share the obsession.

--D. An inordinate interest in preserving inappropriate, lewd, or antisocial forms of sexual expression.

--E. Fascination with immature or deviant expressions of sexuality; reduction of human sexuality to animal sexuality.

The faintest praise or even mention of George W. Bush brings these symptoms to a head like a zit ripe for a-poppin'. References to the Bible or Jesus Christ elicit a response of apoplectic proportions.

To this point clinicians have found no cure. Some sufferers have been known to escape its clutches spontaneously and it doesn't appear to have any genetic basis nor does it necessarily pass along generationally. There are also some signs that the pandemic is on the decline.