Intangible No More
Over the past couple of decades this analysis has become highly evolved. Behind the scenes computers hum wildly, processing a universe of data. Their output, given to the commentator just before showtime may read, in part, something like this:
Team chemistry: The Giants steroid and performance enhancement drug usage is 30% higher than that of the Dodgers. Advantage: Giants.
*It has been reported that Balco Labs will soon undergo a name change. Since Barry Bonds came into the league with a physique akin to that of Don Knotts and then bulked up, the Balco Lab will now be called, 'Knotts Barry Farm'.
*Many sports fans in England have adopted Barry Bonds as a hero. For some unknown reason they have nicknamed him, 'Inj'. They have begun petitioning the Queen to infer upon him the honor of Knight. Then he would be addressed, 'Sir Inj'.