Another 1960's Flashback

What do the recent Tonga earthquake, the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami, the 2005 Pakistani earthquake, and the collapse of the New Orleans levees during Hurricane Katrina have in common?

After approximately 10,000 hours of arduous research, interviews with countless geologists, vulcanologists, nuclear physicists, seismologists, and one leftist; after processing countless gigabytes of data through 47 separate computer models I have narrowed the above commonality down to two possibilities.

These 'natural' disasters were either caused by 1) the Bush, Cheney, Rove, and Rumsfeld testing of bunker busting nuclear weapons to be used against Iran and/or the deep caves hiding Osama bin Laden or 2) by Madeleine Albright dropping her leg press weights too hard after the last repetition of her last set in her 'Thunder Thighs' exercise routine.

Parents: Don't let your children do drugs. The leftist/conspiratory flashbacks are almost too much to bear.