New York Times Executive Editor,
Bill 'Teller' Keller

Lost among much of the controversy surrounding the recent journalistic activities of Bill Keller are the facts of his courage, patriotism, and faithful adherence to the principles of quality journalism. To be sure, there are no finer American aspirations than free speech, free press, and the public's right to know.

Neither his actions nor the vitriolic responses are of the 'billy-come-lately' variety. His truthfulness has a long history. Little Billy reported to his mommy that daddy fed her made-from-scratch 'Chicken Cordon Bleu' to Fido when she wasn't looking.

On the first day of elementary school, Billy leaked the news that little Mary Ellen was a bed wetter. On the playground, he headlined that Santa Claus wasn't real. In response, at Little Travis Washington's birthday party, the featured game was 'Pin the Tattletale on the Honky' using a poster of little Billy's likeness.

While attending San Mateo's Junipero Sierra High School, Billy's athletic careers were egregiously cut short. As a talented catcher, Billy would source the pitch and location to the batter. As a sure-handed tight end, he would report the offensive play to the defense. Both athletic programs abrogated Billy's First Amendment rights by releasing him from the teams.

Bill's adult professional courage has been well documented. However, there is one report by Keller that is not so well known. When his wife asks the inevitable, "Does this dress make me look fat?", Bill answers, "Why, no, dear, it looks great on you!"

Coward.