Thursday, January 04, 2007

Discovery at Crawford Dig Site

During a lull in experimentation in my secret basement laboratory, one of my researchers brought the following news item to my attention:

"Cindy Sheehan made a speech at a book signing in Palo Alto, claiming that she planted her uterus under a bush in Crawford, Texas."

We immediately drove the mobile lab down to Crawford and began searching for evidence of such a deep sacrificial, cultural gesture. After several hours, we found some disturbed earth under a small Mesquite tree and carefully began our anthropological dig. To our surprise, we did find a small 'coffin' containing some biological tissue buried very, very deeply.

Returning to our basement lab we carefully examined and analyzed the tissue. It, indeed, was a human uterus. Fortunately, we were able to obtain viable DNA samples that we could compare to that of saliva samples gathered from a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker upon which Cindy had hacked a voluminous loogie. We had a match and concluded that we had indeed found Cindy Sheehan's buried uterus.

Below is our anatomical artist's rendering of our find, complete with fallopian tubes and suspensory ligaments. Of special interest was the external os dentition at the inferior cervix. Three male researchers turned white and passed out.

For some unknown reason this tissue had a Hugo Chavez sulfur scent.


Lance Burri said...


Steve said...

That's what our laundry service said when we gave them our lab coats.

The only coats that remained unsoiled by vomit were the ones worn by our progressive researchers. They told the rest of us that reality didn't even affect them at all.