It's For Your Own Good

There is great impetus afoot here in Wisconsin to raise taxes on packs of cigarettes a dollar or more. Governor Doyle, et al., are proposing to do this as well as impose a state-wide smoking ban in all public buildings including bars and bowling alleys.

Now a cynic might think that these proposals are just power and money grabs on the backs of those unfavored pariahs; that these politicians want the money for buying favors and votes. Doubtless many Conservatives and even some Republicans think cynically along these lines.

These selfish, incompassionate, hateful individuals fail to see the real wisdom, however. If they would follow the spoken logic, the obvious would finally come to light.

The reason for these proposals is public health. What higher love could they ever bestow upon us? These people deserve the respect normally reserved for saviors of all mankind.

Unselfish striving for public health... what a wonderful and worthy goal, worthy of even greater steps in attempt to perfect public health. Other socially health limiting habits and situations also need to be curbed by good-for-you-taxation to alter behavior:

The demon alcohol in all its forms,

McDonald's and other fattening chains,

Obesity; tax by the pound,

Automobile mileage,

Couch and TV time,

Abortion tax; disposing of the canceroid tissue is expensive and often turns up in cans of tuna,

Homosexual tax; treatment of AIDS is a drain on public health funds,

Race and heritage taxes; some races are prone to certain diseases as are some families,

Aging tax; the older one gets, the more medical care he needs,

Life tax; living increases medical risks,

Heart tax; much is spent on diseases of those with hearts,

Medical and psychological professional tax; to pay the costs after discovering and inventing new diseases and syndromes,

Gun, knife, stick, rock, fist, and foot taxes,

Schools and teachers tax; pregnancy is the only condition that is credited with more morning sickness,

Self-esteem tax; low self-esteem is responsible for the necessity of expensive medical services; high self-esteem makes so many others sick.

Soldier, fireman, cop tax; very high risk professions.

The proper promotion of public health can save mankind, the culture, and the planet. We should stop the political taking of halting, baby steps and boldly go where no man has gone before, with the possible exception of a few leftists in other times on other continents.