Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Faster Than a Speeding Bullet

As I was out snowblowing my driveway and sidewalk this morning an SUV stopped at the curb in front of me. The driver powered the passenger side window down to tell me that he was selling carbon offsets to save the planet from the global warming that I was causing. And since the carbon dioxide belching snowblower I was using was a Toro brand and 'toro' is 'bull' in Spanish, I had to buy greater credits for espousing the increase in bovine flatulence methane, a greenhouse gas. As I reached inside of my parka and fumbled for my Ruger 9mm I realized that I hadn't known the 0-60 mph pickup that those Janesville built Yukon XL Denalis had.

I gotta get me one of those.

3 comments:

Jay P said...

I've been looking all over to invest in carbon offsets so I can feel better about all of the pollution, especially after the ham and bean soup last night. Did the driver leave a business card?

Steve said...

No, but there are a couple of 9mm holes in his SUV's backside. I discovered that it really isn't faster than a speeding bullet.

Marie said...

I have some carbon credits for sale over at my blog if you are interested.