Thursday, May 03, 2007

Fred Thompson Info

Many conservative voters are looking closely at Fred Thompson as a possible Republican candidate for the 2008 Presidential election. However, many really don't know too much about him. I.M.A.O. has become a repository for information about the former Senator/actor. Here are some telling tidbits of information about Fred Thompson:

Fred Thompson eats shotgun shells for breakfast and craps 44 magnum bullets in the afternoon.

Does a bear @#$% in the woods? Only with signed notarized permission in triplicate from Fred Thompson.

When Fred Thompson empties his pistol at the firing range, it reloads itself out of respect.

Fred Thompson uses a .357 Magnum as a remote control.

Fred Thompson once opened a stuck jar of pickles by winking at it.

Nuclear reactor coolant fills Fred Thompson's hot tub.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Fred Thompson loading his shotgun.

Waldo is hiding because of Fred Thompson.

The Ultimate Fighting Championship is based on Fred Thompson's playground history.

You can safely view Fred Thompson using a shoe box with a pin-sized hole in one end.

To save tax money, for a while Tennessee reduced it's police force to just Fred Thompson armed with a claw hammer. During that time, there was no crime in Tennessee or any contiguous state.

Fred Thompson is a prime number.

According to Sura 8 verse 65 of the Koran, Allah told the Prophet Muhammad, "O Prophet! Urge the believers to war; if there are twenty patient ones of you they shall overcome two hundred, and if there are a hundred of you they shall overcome a thousand of those who disbelieve... but if you're up against Fred Thompson, you're totally screwed and I can't help you."

Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.

These are just a few biographical facts about Fred Thompson. If he runs for President I will vote for him. I'd be afraid not to.

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