I have a calendar on my desk that gives a goofy quote every day. Here are some from July:
July 2, "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees." - Horse racing announcer Stewart Machin, on jockey Tony McCoy.
July 3, "Host: Which First Lady was forced to flee the White House when the British invaded Washington, D.C., during the Revolutionary War? (Hint: She makes great snack cakes!)"
"Caller: Little Debbie?" - On the WQXI radio show 2 Live Stews, Atlanta, Georgia. (The correct answer, of course, is Dolly Madison; thanks to Mike Ramer.)
This one is doubly funny... During the Revolutionary War, Madison was not President, the White House was not even built, Washington was not the capital, and the British didn't invade the area.
July 6, "A Thursday story incorrectly quoted Councilman Stewrt Clifton as calling Mayor Bill Boner a 'squeeze-bag'. Clifton called Boner a 'sleeze-bag'." - From the Nashville (Tennessee) Banner
July 12, "A person shall not be treated as suffering from physical disablement such that he is either unable to walk or virtually unable to do so if he is not unable or virtually unable to walk with a prosthesis or an artificial aid which he habitually wears or uses or if he would not be unable or virtually unable to walk if he habitually wore or used a prosthesis or an artificial aid which is suitable in his case." - From a Department of Health and Social Services report, explaining mobility allowances for the disabled.