Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Tough Neighborhood

Mr. Kotter on Welcome Back, Kotter, said that his old neighborhood was so tough that the gangs didn't shoot you, they 'inserted the bullets manually.'

My neighborhood is pretty tough, too. Around here they don't flatten your tires with knives, ice picks, or tire strips. They get in your way and flatten you tires manually.

Linda recently had a flat. As the tire was new, I took it back to the dealer to get repaired. The technician brought the offending material to me. It turned out to be a splinter of bone, complete with blood, that had flattened her tire:

Although Linda has never driven tanks around Tiananmen Square, I would not recommend getting in her way or competing with her for a prime parking spot. Pedestrians, please do not exercise your 'right of way.'

In my neighborhood there are street signs stating, "Drive carefully, Children diving for cover!"

I also strongly suspect that it isn't really global warming that is threatening the polar bear population.

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