Two Points of View

We journalists here at Burri News Central realize that every news story has alternate points of view from which to draw meaningful conclusions. A skilled journalist must explore all points of view to give the reading public something as close to the true story as can be expected.

Today's installment explores the state of New York State's upper echelon of politics. As the reader is undoubtedly aware, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer recently resigned after his dalliances with prostitutes came to light. Shortly afterwards, Lieutenant Governor David Paterson revealed several extra-marital affairs within the past decade.

We sought out the points of view of two well-known Americans concerning these developments to see if we could draw a intelligent conclusion about these situations.

Our first interview was with Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama's long time pastor:

The stories of Governor Spitzer and Lt. Governor David Paterson are perfect examples to illustrate the state of White U.S.K.K.K.A of which I have long preached. In this, you have the rich, White Governor of the state of New York who pays thousands of dollars per hour to boink a prostitute in a hotel like this:

(The Renaissance Mayflower Hotel in Washington, D.C.)
By contrast, Lieutenant Governor, David Paterson, who is Black, was forced to settle for freebies from anyone who would comply. Mr. Paterson, who is Black, had to pursue his fulfillment in a motel that looked like this:

(Days Inn Motel, New York City)
Certainly even racist White America must blush at this inequality.

Our second interview concerning this issue was with the white hooded Exalted Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan:

The real gold nugget of truth among these stories does not at all deal with the sites of these extra-marital affairs, but with the outcomes. The White governor was forced to resign in disgrace and is still under investigation. The offending Black Lieutenant Governor was promoted to Governor of the State of New York.

We also have obtained unconfirmed reports that one of Paterson's affairs was with Obama's grandmother, vindicating her from the charge of being a typical White woman.

So in giving all viewpoints a fair hearing, the editorial board of Burri News Central has rarified two well-informed, erudite, and incontrovertible conclusions concerning this matter:

1) We interviewed a couple of classic idiots for this piece.

2) The state government of New York really sucks.

That's the way it was. Good night and good luck!