Thursday, November 13, 2008

"You Should Be Crucifixed"

The mad scientist, Catherine Vogt, labored among the test tubes and beakers in her secret laboratory. Her latest experiment caused the local population to circle her carrying torches and plenty of rope:
As the media keeps gushing on about how America has finally adopted tolerance as the great virtue, and that we're all united now, let's consider the Brave Catherine Vogt Experiment.[...]

She noticed that fellow students at Gwendolyn Brooks Middle School overwhelmingly supported Barack Obama for president. His campaign kept preaching "inclusion," and she decided to see how included she could be.

So just before the election, Catherine consulted with her history teacher, then bravely wore a unique T-shirt to school and recorded the comments of teachers and students in her journal. The T-shirt bore the simple yet quite subversive words drawn with a red marker:

"McCain Girl."[...]

"I just really wanted to see what their reaction would be."[...]

"People were upset. But they started saying things, calling me very stupid, telling me my shirt was stupid and I shouldn't be wearing it," Catherine said.

Then it got worse.

"One person told me to go die. It was a lot of dying. A lot of comments about how I should be killed," Catherine said, of the tolerance in Oak Park.[...]

"He said, 'You should be crucifixed.' It was kind of funny because, I was like, don't you mean 'crucified?' " Catherine said.[...]

The next day, in part 2 of The Brave Catherine Vogt Experiment, she wore another T-shirt, this one with "Obama Girl" written in blue. And an amazing thing happened.

Catherine wasn't very stupid anymore. She grew brains.[...]
When the results of the secret experiment were discussed in class, it appeared as though there might have been a lesson learned.

Pretty bold for a 14 year old.

I expect that Catherine is already getting letters from prestigious universities stating, "Don't bother applying here."

1 comment:

HeatherRadish said...

We should pass the hat for her to go to Hillsdale.