Friday, January 30, 2009

Multicultural Wisdom of the Ages

Up until very recently, I have been limited to narrow parochial thought. I have not broken out of this simpleton's Utopia (I didn't even vote for Obama) until I began reading Iowahawk. His latest submission to Big Hollywood changed all that. I am now enlightened.

Before soaking up the wisdom of the ancients, the only proverb that I knew was from the Chinese: "He who goes to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky fingers." (Probably taught to me by Grandpa Jerry in my youth.) At any rate, that bit of knowledge served my well for most of my life.

Here are some gems gleaned from Iowahawk that will propel me well armed into the age of Obama:
“The happy man has two chickens; the wise man shares one with the man who has none. The prudent man reports the happy man to the authorities, so they can wise him up.” -Cuban

“A wise man offers his millet to be shared among the village, for his gift will be repaid a thousand times in gratitude. A wiser man takes somebody else’s millet and offers it to the village. Guess what? Same gratitude, and extra millet for good ol’ numero uno.” -Ethiopian

“If you want to travel fast, travel alone. If you want to travel far, travel together. If you want to travel in comfort, fake an ankle sprain and convince the other travelers to carry you.” -Ashanti

“All around us is a dream; the sky above and land we walk. Kangaroo dung is the nightmares.” -Aborigine

“The man who builds his well at a distance soon laments when his wife’s mustache catches fire.” -Khazhak

“Do not waste your time talking to the yak. Because yakkity yak don’t talk back.” -Mongolian

“Even the wisest turtle cannot understand the sea. Get real dude, he’s a f**king turtle.” -Samoan

“The camel has journeyed a thousand miles to reach the oasis palm, and yet he cannot get a date. Not smelling like that, anyway.” -Moroccan

“The blue oyster does not fear the reaper.” -Mulleti

“The single lotus blossom that brushes against river jade can defeat an army of steel fire-dragon. Well, okay, maybe that’s just the opium talking.” -Chinese

“Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. And for god’s sake, bring some deodorant.” -Lao Tse, The Personal Hygiene of War

“The comrade who is late to work will only get the last swig of the vodka. Even then it’s probably half backwash.” -Russian
I am now ready for the Age of Aquarius, Hope, and Change.

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