Thursday, May 28, 2009

Rolling Stones- Environmental Enemies

President Obama is already famous for his cool, calm demeanor. One might assume that because he doesn't fly off the handle, that he has no adequate response to a serious circumstance. This is not the case, however.

Back in early May the British banned the outspoken San Francisco radio personality, Michael Savage from entering their country. Although President Obama did not comment at the time, he still prepared a retaliatory strike that he will soon unveil.

A White House insider, while requiring anonymity, told us of the Administration's plans. President Barack Obama will ban the Rolling Stones from visiting the United States.

The move will be made on advisement by Steven Chu, the U.S. Secretary of Energy. Chu has claimed that the Rolling Stones are evil. The rock band subliminally promoted the destruction of the Earth by their song lyrics effecting the minds of upper middle-aged people all over the planet. He cited these lyrics:
I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
These lyrics are from the popular song Paint It Black. The United States cannot just stand by and let Earth-hating mongers range freely upon our soil.

The Administration has prepared the way; made the paths straight, for this strategic move:
Some people believe that nuclear power is the answer to climate change, others have proposed green technologies such as wind or solar power, but Barack Obama's top man on global warming has suggested something far simpler – painting your roof white.

Steven Chu, the US Secretary of Energy and a Nobel prize-winning scientist, said yesterday that making roofs and pavements white or light-coloured would help to reduce global warming by both conserving energy and reflecting sunlight back into space. It would, he said, be the equivalent of taking all the cars in the world off the road for 11 years.
The Earth is happy with Greece.
(Happy butterflies and bunnies not pictured.)

Secretary Chu also made other recommendations to further reduce anthropocentric global warming that were either not accepted or not yet publicized. One Chu suggestion was to ban dark-skinned, darkly clad people from assembling, as seen below, left, because it would absorb heat and increase global warming, unlike the light-skinned, light color clothing as seen in the picture on the right:


Dr. Chu, I smell another Nobel Prize at your doorstep!

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