Monday, May 11, 2009

Tiger Woods Finishes 8th- It's Bush's Fault

Tiger Woods finished in a disappointing 8th place yesterday at The Players Championship golf tournament.
Woods had fought his way into the final group, where he was trying to gouge away at Alex Cejka's five-shot lead. But Tiger flopped around the Stadium Course with a severe case of the rights and a 1-over par 73 to trail by seven shots.1
Tiger, as usual, was gracious in his defeat saying that he just wasn't able to correct his shots while trying to adapt to the course.

Others, however, were more direct:
"If Tiger would have gotten his knee repaired under Obama's Universal Health Care System, he would have won by at least six strokes."

"He had a 'severe case of the rights.' Yeah, it was from Bush's right wing capitalistic inferior health care; The Man keepin' the brutha down."

"We are starting an grassroots effort to force the President to bail Tiger out. Just a few billion should help out."

"If Tiger could just touch the hem of Obama's garment he would be healed."

"God bless The Players Championship? No, no, no! God damn The Players Championship!"

"Maybe Michelle could wrap her transformational arms around him. They are 'young, strong, vigorous, intelligent, accomplished, sexual, powerful, embracing and, most of all, loving.'"
(Photo: Aaron S. Moonbattery.)

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