MSbpP

(Since this idea is making the rounds again, I thought that I would repost this from its original January 8, 2009 issue.)

Several of the psycho-psychiatrists that work in my secret basement laboratory are petitioning the American Psychiatric Association for the inclusion of MSbpP into the DSM-IV.

The DSM-IV is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders that provides diagnostic criteria for mental disorders; the psychiatric rule and case book.

MSbpP is otherwise known as Münchausen Syndrome by political Proxy.

Here are the diagnostic criteria for this epidemic of Reid/Pelosi flu:

-A culture that has one or more socio-economic problems that do not respond to heroic legislation or that follow an unusual course that is persistent, puzzling and unexplained.

-Editorial or propagandist findings that are highly unusual, discrepant with history, or physically or clinically impossible.

-A politician who appears to be knowledgeable and/or fascinated with societal details and mainstream media gossip, appears to enjoy the elite environment, and expresses interest in the details of other plebian problems.

-A highly attentive politician who is reluctant to leave their society's side and who themselves seem to require constant attention.

-A politician who appears to be unusually calm in the face of serious difficulties in their culture's downward course while being highly supportive and encouraging of the lawmakers,

OR one who is angry, devalues alternate opinions, and demands further intervention, more procedures, acquiescent opinions, and transfers to other, more sophisticated, cultures.

-The signs and symptoms of a culture’s troubles do not occur in the politician’s absence.

-A cultural history of similar or unexplained ailments in the presence of like-minded politicians.

-A politician with symptoms often worse than their culture's that itself is puzzling and unusual.

-A politician who constantly reports dramatic, negative events, such as global warming, cultural doom and gloom, or being despised by other cultures, that affect them while their society is undergoing legislative treatment.

-A politician who seems to have an insatiable need for adulation or who makes self-serving efforts for public acknowledgment of their wisdom and abilities.

My psychiatrists have commissioned our biologists and physiologists to produce a vaccine to inoculate our countrymen from this destructive disease. Their battle cry is "For the Children."