White House Counsel, Greg Craig, Getting Tire Tread Tattoo

It has been reported that White House Counsel Greg Craig will be forcibly bussed out in favor of Mr. Anita Dunn, AKA Bob Bauer.

White House scuttlebutt has it that some Craig memos were discovered that caused President Obama to shudder. One memo reportedly stated:

I am planning to send agents into the White House of Barack Obama, remove him, put him in a van, take him to a place where there is an airplane, fly him to Andrews Air Force Base, where he will be reunited with his relatives and flown back to Kenya.

Elian Gonzalez could not be reached for comment.

Bob Bauer, on the other hand, will prod the Justice Department to find a means by which to prosecute FOX News for openly publishing videos of his wife's speeches.