Thursday, December 17, 2009

Christmas Dangers

There are many stories of strange and dangerous aspects involved in imported goods. Watch out for that tarantula in the bunch of bananas. And the scorpion. And the poisonous spider.

Lately, products of China have been culprits in similar horror stories. Those Chinese toys will poison your child with lead if he doesn't choke on the small parts first. The list goes on... light truck tires, toothpaste, sea food, dry wall...

In January of this year we purchased a pre-lit Christmas tree at a bargain price to celebrate the season. The tree was made in China and when we put it up a few days ago we were in for quite a surprise.

We found and hired a cat psychic to help us figure out what had happened. After witnessing a lengthy psychic conversation she told us that the undocumented Chinese cat had stowed away in our tree to escape the melamine tainted food that the rats and mice were eating back home and ending up in the systems of all his kitty friends after catching and eating the vermin. He had lost several family members and many friends as a result and purposed to escape the slaughter. He said he couldn't wait to get his paws on some good ol' American Fancy Feast Elegant Medleys, particularly the Sea Food and Whipped Egg Souffle with Pacific Shrimp and Garden Greens.

To avoid an international incident and because we are an undocumented cat sanctuary, we obliged.

When we found out how much the grandkids loved this stuff, we got the cat some dry Purina One and are serving the Fancy Feast to the kids for Christmas dinner.

UPDATE: The cat is fast becoming a football fan and wanted to experience a live game as an American spectacle. A kind and generous reader has offered to the cat a ticket to the BCS Championship game in Pasadena to watch the Longhorns perform a global cooling decline on the Crimson Ebb Tide. The reader had originally intended to offer the ticket to some chick named Carol, but thought this a more worthy object of generosity.

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