Horns & bells & whistles & sirens & a thundering herd of running footsteps & lights a'flashing & lots of guns drawn with serious, determined facial expressions above uniforms and badges. I got the impression that something serious was going down here at the airport.
After being escorted to a small room in the innermost sanctum, one burly officer screamed, "Mr. Burri, what were you thinking by bringing all these weapons in your carry-on luggage?"
"Just doing my duty to my country, sir."
"I am a designated layer of airport security by the TSA and consider myself an Obama Administration airport mini-czar acting in an official capacity. If there is some kind of problem, you will have to take it up with Erroll Southers or even President Obama himself."
Another officer poked his head into the room. "Sir, he isn't carrying shampoo and his underwear is clean."
"We are sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Burri. Have a nice flight."