America's Secret Olympic Weapon

The Russian Federation has been in an uproar over their lack of medals earned at the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics. Surprisingly, the they chose not blame this poor Olympic showing on global warming. Their alternate reasoning was at least as complex, however. The blame lay on the evil two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun:

On March 3, a handful of activists from Zdravmol, a youth organization and a joint project of the Federal Agency for Youth Policy and the obstreperous youth movement Nashi, gathered in front of a Moscow McDonald’s and chanted: “Thank you, McDonald’s, for our 11th ranking.” They were venting their anger at one of Russia’s poorest medal tallies ever at a Winter Olympics – only three golds at the Vancouver games.

This Russian figure skating pair does lend some credence to the claim:

Meanwhile, in the U.S., Ronald McDonald is awarded the Congressional Gold Medal for his part in America's excellent Olympic showing: