Monday, March 01, 2010

Nose-Picking is Patriotic

And Good Foreign Relations

Many commenters are mocking our President for picking his nose during the recent Health Care Summit- 2010. What these shallow individuals don't realize is that Obama's nostril hygiene showed true leadership. There are several reasons for this; the science is settled.
1) In many cultures, nose-picking is a sign of respect and shows that the listener is concentrating on the speaker's statements.

2) Successful picking of one's nose and shaking your opponents hand before washing your own hands is offering a high honor.

3) Clearing the nasal passages for more efficient breathing helps keep the blood oxygen at optimal levels. Even more than a teleprompter, this has been one of the main reasons for the great timbre of Obama's voice as well as his overall godlike speaking ability. It keeps the mind sharp.

4) According to Al Gore, discarded snotty tissues account for 35 trillion tons of waste clogging our landfills and destroying the Earth. So recycling boogers is good for the environment. (Gore is nearly finished with his manuscript titled, '50 Tasty Ways to Prepare a Booger for Consumption.' Subtitled, 'Saving the Planet One Booger at a Time.') The high nutritive value of boogers is well documented.

This picture is worth the proverbial thousand words. It shows President Obama respectfully listening to opposing views, elevating American stature among foreign cultures, and saving the planet.

Well done, Mr. President!

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