Please, Somebody Give 'Last Call'

Carol, esteemed proprietor of No Sheeples Here has apparently again overindulged in some very strong hallucinogenic mead. Mistakenly thinking that she had attacked the evil Steverino, Wizard of Berserkistan, she instead attacked Little Stevie, lover of puppies, bunnies, and obeying his mommy, while he was playing in his backyard snow fort. Little Stevie put up a good fight, but succumbed from fatigue after having shoveled out the driveways and sidewalks of several aged widows and disabled neighbors.

The townfolk in Carol's village saw the boy's head hoisted on Carol's pike and said, "WTF... Carol's at it again. Quick, hide the women and children!"