Wednesday, April 07, 2010

No Sheeples Here Visits the White House

"Carol, the President, Vice President, and their close advisers will see you now."
"Hello, Mish Eeples. Welcome to the Oval Office."

"We commanded your presence here today in hopes of filling the very important position of Sports Prediction Czar in this Administration. As you may already know, the President has only picked a lot of losers lately."

"No, Mish Eeples, we weren't talking about Joe Biden. We were referring to his sports predictions. He has been looking awfully foolish in the one area that he is supposed to have some actual knowledge."

"The President seldom chooses underlings that actually have a proven track record of success, but we understand that you are the ace of the blogosphere as far as predicting champions. You picked and supported the Alabama Crimson Tide for the National Champions in NCAA football. Then you picked and talked up the Duke Blue Devils long before the beginnings of March Madness and that ended with their national championship."

"We have vetted you thoroughly and only have one question remaining..."

"Who will win the 2012 Presidential election?"
Carol softly whispered to the assembled group.

The others erupted:
"Son-of-a-b*tch! Not that #*@$}^& retard!"

"This is a bad f**king deal!"

"This is the last time in my whole adult life that I will be proud of this country, this mean country!"
Carol didn't get the job. However, the Obama Administration used this job offer (as well as that of the newly opened 'Teaching The President To Not Throw Like A Little Girl' Czar) to claim 100,000 jobs created or saved.

Unemployment hovers near 10%.

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