Our Fecal Bowelprint is Destroying the Planet

Scientists and the IPCC agree. The debate is over. If we don't act immediately, the planet will die. At our present rate of political feces production the sewer levels will rise by 25 feet by the year 2035. Billions will die from cholera, E. coli, and drowning in fecal flooding. Puppies, kittens, fuzzy bunnies, butterflies, and unicorns will become extinct.

Lance Burri, The TrogloPundit, has begun to lead the effort against this looming catastrophe by starting the Bowel Party Movement. Through Lance, one will be able to buy 'Fecal Offsets' to assist in counteraction efforts to slow and stop the destruction of our beloved free nation. These funds will be used in two ways. First, Lance has contracted our secret basement laboratory scientists to culture massive quantities of fecophilic bacteria to fight the threat directly. Second, Lance is developing a recycling program to deal with Liberal and RINO politicians. They will be sent off to 'spend more time with their families.' Other efforts will include direct conflict with individual turds such as 'social justice,' 'expanding entitlements,' 'higher taxation,' 'Big Government,' and many, many more Federal and state crap piles.

We have obtained one of Lance's first promotional photographs: