Wednesday, September 08, 2010

'Beer Goggle' Study

The scientists in our secret basement laboratory have been researching the effects of alcohol on human cerebral perceptivity. One research team has zeroed in on the changes in visual affectations during alcohol usage. They have developed software that mimics the activity of the occipital visual cortex at various levels of intoxication. This software can be connected to a specially developed camera to depict the level of vision in a study subject while consuming ethanol.

Fortunately at the very time our scientists were ready for their first field study, my old Army MP unit, the 554th, was having a 35+ year reunion in Las Vegas. Although I wasn't able to attend myself, the distinguished veterans still allowed our research team to prep several former MP's and study them during the reunion festivities. The main guinea pigs were MP's named Sedlack and LaRocque.

After several hours of frivolity and celebration at the Hofbrau Haus along with the consumption of several liters of fine German brew, Sedlack and LaRoche met a pair of Vegas showgirls. Our special camera powered by the lab developed software took this shot to illustrate the activities within their inebriated primary visual cortex:

(Photo credit: Tim Bonness)

The software then reverted to its sobriety settings and retook the picture:

Although more research needs to be done, we are quite confident that the "Beer Goggle" hypothesis shows much promise.

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