Assessing the Wooly Bear

They say that reading the furlike setae patterns of the Pyrrharctia isabella can give an accurate prediction of the upcoming winter:

Our secret basement laboratory's resident Entomological Etymologist examined this P. isabella specimen and interpreted these statements:

-Another normal Wisconsin winter on the way. (You had to scrape your windshield this morning, didn't you?)

-Al Gore has parasitic vermin residing within his cranial vault.

-Can I bum a ride or get a bus ticket to Florida?

We all pitched in a mailed the little bugger to Daytona Beach- First Class.