Sunday, October 03, 2010

Blimey! The Barmy Limeys Go Bonkers on Conkers! Crikey!

Ed Daley, who posts on both The Daley Gator and The Daily Benefactor excerpts an article from The Sun:
BARMY health and safety decisions could be given the chop, under plans being considered by the Government.

There was a steady rise of "nonsense" rulings made by town councils under the Labour government, according to Tory peer Lord Young.

They created a culture of fear, which led to events such as the 200-year-old tradition of down-hill cheese-rolling in Brockworth, Glous, being cancelled for safety reasons.

Other barmy health and safety measures introduced in the last decade include children being banned from playing conkers at school and a restaurant not giving out toothpicks for fear of injuring customers.
Banning the cheese rolling and toothpicks are one thing, but complaining about banning conkers is another. Conkers is a game where two children each put one bullet in their revolvers and spin the cylinders. They then take turns... Wait... what?
Conkers: The popular name for the horsechestnut, and for the game played with them, suspended on a string.

The modern game of conkers is replete with its own etiquette and terminology, including the scoring by which a victorious conker takes on the score of its defeated opponent (e.g. if a ten-er beats a six-er it becomes a seventeen-er, 10 +6 + 1). Your opponent can stamp on your conker if you drop it unless you shout ‘Bagsie no stampsies’ first; a ‘cheesecutter’ was a conker with a flat side; the cry to claim first hit varies from place to place but always has to rhyme with ‘conker’:

Iddy iddy onker, my first conker
Iddy iddy oh, my first go

Never mind!


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