White House Testing Fast Food Screening Program

The Obama Administration's Obesity Nanny Czar, Michelle Obama, is testing a new computer pre-screening program for use in America's fast food restaurants. The program will take a picture of each prospective diner, compute the caloric and nutritional content of the intended order,  generate a photograph of the diner's condition after the meal, and finally ask if the customer would like to continue with the order.

Here are some examples of the new initiative:

Before:

What are you intending to order today?

1 Big Mac, small fries, and medium Coke.

After meal:

Would you like to continue with this meal?

No, thanks!

Next, please.

Before:

What are you intending to order today?

1 Quarter Pounder, small fries, and Diet Sprite.

After meal:

Would you like to continue with this meal?

Yes, please.

Next, please.

Before:

What are you intending to order today?

Yogurt, salad, and water.

After meal:

Would you like to continue with this meal?

HELL, NO!

Apparently, there are a couple of glitches to still be worked out before this program is implemented at your local fast food restaurant.