Dreams From My Founding Fathers

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The Memoirs of Grandpa Steve

I started out as a child and roamed the farmland and woods of Southern Wisconsin. I became a Liberal after watching a TV show depicting the misuse of authority by a Redneck Southern Sheriff. I thought that Washington, D.C. needed to exercise greater powers to save the day.

Ironically, I spent my drug addled twenties roaming through that very same South. When I sobered up, I became a Christian and Conservative in Texas. From then on I began to mature day by day in my racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic bigotry. I clung tightly to my guns and religion.

As time passed I became a Teavangelical and worked toward a Teaocracy through which Dominionism could occur. With Tea Party politicians in charge, much of the dominion now exercised by the Federal Government would be returned to the states and to the people.

I have now graduated into becoming a terrorist, a barbarian, and a son of bitches. After the Teamsters Union and Jimmy Hoffa take me out, I am told I am going straight to hell.

I sure hope my concealed carry license gets here soon.