Newest Medical Technology - The S.C.A.T. Scan

Taken by Satellite In Vivo

I get in a lot of spats with Liberal 'friends' on FaceBook and it's a lot of fun. But sometimes (I'm being kind) they get way, way off the rational reservation. This morning one of those guys linked an article critiquing a Rush Limbaugh segment. My friend's summation of the article was "Heaven forbid that someone maintain values in spite of tragedy, Rush once again trumpets his ignorance and lack of any sense." What he refused to do was read Rush's actual words. Rush was obviously making fun of Diane Sawyer and the Church of Al Gore, but it was claimed that he was mocking the Japanese in the middle of their disastrous earthquake.

So the scientists in our secret basement laboratory decided to test some new medical imaging technology that they have named S.C.A.T. Scanning. The technology is operated by one of our satellites in geosynchronous orbit. The satellite locates any individual we target and is able to take hundreds of sagittal scans of the entire brain. These data scans are fed into a computer and the software is able to locate neuro-anomolies (S.C.A.T.) in the subject. It then portrays that injured sagittal section in a form that determines the basic usage of each portion for that individual as well as the particular area with S.C.A.T.

The equipment worked flawlessly. The raw scan of the test subject is shown below. Underneath that is the software's depiction of brain usage and the S.C.A.T. area (labeled in red box) that was located. It sheds a lot of light on the physiology of a Liberal's brain.

(Portions of imaging software developed by the fine scientists at The People's Cube.)

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