The President to Join NASCAR

They Won't Come to Him,  So He'll Go to Them

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President Obama's advisory staff are scrambling to buoy up the President's plummeting poll numbers. Noting the popularity of Danica Patrick as she moves into NASCAR, the President has been counseled to make an entry into stock car racing.

President Obama hopes to do for NASCAR what he has done for the American economy.

NASCAR officials are considering changing the name of their organization from NASCAR to 'Democrat Unaccountable Derby' or DUD. Concession vendors are stocking up on wine and arugula.