Thursday, September 08, 2011

Public Service Announcement

We here at Grandpa John's offer this information as a public service...

Because we care.

You see it all the time. Someone carelessly bites off more than he can easily chew, chews poorly while concentrating on a cell phone call or tweet, tries to swallow... as he begins showing signs of physical stress, he grabs at his throat with both hands, starts turning blue, and gestures frantically in silence.

The poor man is choking and his life is in jeopardy. Another vigilant citizen must immediately come to his aid. The recommended action is called the Tea Party/Heimlich Maneuver.

This life saving action is shown in the illustration below:

(Illustration courtesy of Mr. Fish at

Just be careful not to lacerate the liver with the xiphoid process.

Remember, too, to call a hazmat team to clean up that toxic mess off the floor.

Paco has been Heimliching people even before they show the physical signs. (False rumors are spreading that he has just been doing it to young females and that he has been pressing much too high on the ribcage.) Preventative medicine is one of President Obama's primary health care goals.

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