Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Spontaneous Combustion of Graveyard Corpses Rocks Wisconsin Town

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"We contacted the White House to request the Navy Corpsemen to investigate."

Janesville, WI (BNS)- A cemetery in the small Southern Wisconsin city of Janesville has experienced the paranormal phenomenon of spontaneous combustion among its inhabitants. Several graves can be seen bursting into smokey flames for no apparent reason causing neighbors, grave keepers, wildlife, and nearby resting-in-peacers great astonishment.

When questioned, the Chief Cemeterian, Quincy Stonebread, could only reason that these individual corpses had originally requested cremation rather than burial and were finally getting their final wish. Stonebread also stated that he contacted the White House to request that the Navy Corpsemen be called in to investigate. He was told that the Corpsemen were presently otherwise called to emergencies in several other of the 57 states, but would travel by the intercontinental railroad to Janesville as soon as possible.

An agitated crowd began to assemble around the fences of the cemetery. Along with the pitchforks and torches, many also carried crosses, mirrors, wooden stakes, garlic, and anti-zombie AR-15 assault rifles.






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11 comments:

Sagesigma said...

Wow, that is crazy. I will have to keep an eye out north of you tomorrow morning!

Anonymous said...

Looks like they are burning
leaves.

Anonymous said...

Looks faked to me. Why not get closer and show where the smoke is coming from?

Steve Burri said...

@Anonymous, and unless you look closely, you'll have a hard time finding the AR-15's in the bottom photo as well.

Turd Johnson said...

What the hell would navy corpsman do?

JUNE Richards said...

love creepy graveyard!

Anonymous said...

Blame it on Sam and Dean Winchester!

Mikey Dilligaf Haddon said...

Looking at the bottom photo I would say it's fake. Cmon we all aint that dumb

Anonymous said...

Oh for Christ's sake! You had to get clear to the bottom photo before you began to doubt this rubbish?

'Cemeterian' Quincy Stonebread?
And you fools took this story seriously?

I think it's time you twits log off the internet, you simply aren't ready for it.

cody said...

It's an Obama plot.

wulff737 said...

And nobody noticed he said "Corpseman" and not Corpsman?
This is for fun people, even using the Obama slip of saying "57 states"