Friday, December 13, 2013

President Obama Introduces New Press Secretary


Citing the need to spend more time with his family, White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney stepped down from his position. President Obama was quick to name and introduce his replacement. Earlier today the President presented Thamsanqua Jantjie as his newest confidante.

Before the White House press corps, Mr. Jantjie gave a few prepared remarks:
"I support basic salutation, salutations. Inside joining in inside cigarettes. Inside to prove and on and on. Support and world please to say from me to you. Talking to you so far. 
Hello, welcome so far. Well, cigarette joint bringing in different to you a circle. I would like to pray this offering. Basically, this fun. All of these balls to prove this good, I'm sorry."
Many in the press corps walked away from the introduction in awe of the new Press Secretary. Most were astounded by his intelligence and ability to speak well. Others claimed he was deep and nuanced. Many wondered if he would be running for President in 2016.

They all knew that he would easily be able to obtain a birth certificate from Hawaii.


1 comment:

Colby said...

This HAS to be better than Carney! At least he has some entertainment value. Carney is painful to watch; he's like a Jon Lovitz without the humor.