Is the Nation of Malawi Trying to Ban The TrogloPundit?

If not, they are going to arrest him as soon as he steps off the plane.

But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence.

One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: 'My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus?

'And how about at meetings where it is difficult to pinpoint 'culprits'?

That'll give the Democrats rhetorical and legislative ideas for the near future.

The Tea Party people are racists so they hate President Obama 'cause he's Black. And they fart a lot, too!

Is The TrogloPundit Invested in McArthur?

The TrogloPundit has been abusing the Pittsburgh Steelers a great deal lately during the run up to the Super Bowl against our Packers; and righteously so. The Packers are by far the superior team and better organization. However, there is a mysterious skeleton in the Trog's closet with which he has not been forthcoming.

The famed Steeler 'Terrible Towel' has been manufactured since 1997 by a company located in Lance's small town of Baraboo, Wisconsin.

The company also employs disabled people to produce the 'Terrible Towels' for fans of the Steelers who obviously have a pro football emotional disability themselves. After Super Bowl XLV the Pittsburgh fans will benefit by the new design of these towels to absorb greater amounts of their tears and weeping after the Steelers' devastating loss.

The Baraboo company will also be re-introducing the 'Titletown Towel' that they issued in 1996, before the 'Terrible Towel' was produced.

Lance can be forgiven for this oversight as it is so easy to confuse the production of the 'Terrible Towel' with the ongoings at Baraboo's Circus World Museum.

UPDATE: I am fairly certain that it is possibly untrue that Lance and his family sneak into the manufacturing plant and spit, blow their noses, rub their arm pits or do other nasty things to each 'Terrible Towel' before they are boxed for shipment around the world.

Our New Alternate TIME Magazine Has Arrived

(See other versions at American Power and No Sheeples Here.)

New Obama/Democrat Logos

Fishersville's most distinguished citizen is continuing the fun with President Obama's 'Winning the Future' line. But since it leaves out Pelosi, Reid, and all other left-leaning politicians and media members, I must expand its horizons:

Super Bowl Rule 5

Packer/Steeler Version

Football Beauties

Green Bay Tea Party Packers vs Pittsburgh Obama Steelers

Super Bowl XLV will Resemble 2010 Midterm Elections

The scientists and researchers in our secret basement laboratory have been struggling to find how the Green Bay Packers will fulfill their Season of Vengeance against the Pittsburgh Steelers in two weeks. At first they thought that a Packer loss in Pittsburgh last season was the cause. Ben Roethlisberger threw for 503 yards against the vaunted Green Bay defense and scored on the game's last play to win. But that is not the reason for the Pack meting out a terrible vengeance upon the present day AFC Champion Steelers.

The Packers' Vengeance is stated in an open letter to the people of Pennsylvania:

Dear Fellow Pennsylvanian,

Based on the experiences that I have had in my seventy-five years and my assessment of what I think our nation needs to make real the change that is so needed, I am proud and now feel compelled to endorse Senator Barack Obama.

This is not something that I do regularly but as I listen to the candidates in this race, I am struck that we continue to hear about the problems and the same challenges that we have been talking about for decades. Protecting jobs here in Pennsylvania, breaking our dangerous and costly addiction to foreign oil, making health care accessible and affordable " these are neither new issues nor new ideas. And yet we have failed to make real progress.

As a grandfather and a citizen of this community I think Barack Obama's, thoughtful, strategic approach is important for America. When I hear how excited young people seem to be when they talk about this man, I believe he will do what is best for them which is to inspire them to be great Americans.

This time, we can't afford to wait. Our country needs a new direction and a new kind of leadership " the kind of leadership, judgment and experience that Senator Obama has demonstrated in more than 20 years of public service, and in a particularly impressive way in this campaign. Senator Obama has rejected the say-and-do anything tactics that puts winning elections ahead of governing the country. And he has rejected the back-room politics in favor of opening government up to the people. Barack Obama is the one candidate in this race who can finally put an end to business as usual in Washington and bring about real change for Pittsburgh and the country as a whole. He has inspired me and so many other people around our country with new ideas and fresh perspectives.

True sports fans know that you support your team even when they are the underdogs. Barack Obama is the underdog here but it is with great pride that I join his team.

When I think of Barack Obama's America I have great hope. I support his candidacy and look forward to his Presidency

Sincerely,

Daniel M. Rooney, Owner and Chairman, Pittsburgh Steelers

Mr. Rooney is now U.S. Ambassador to Ireland.

In contrast, an open letter to the residents of Wisconsin from a part owner of the Green Bay Packers:

Dear Fellow Badgers,

Vote for Conservative principles, small limited federal government, and Constitutional authority.

Sincerely,

Steve Burri, Part owner of the Green Bay Packers

In Super Bowl XLV, Green Bay plays for the Tea Partyers and the Steelers play on behalf of the Obama Administration.

Scientists' prediction: Packers 38, Steelers 27.

Democrats Want Super Bowl Canceled

Democrats in Washington and throughout the country will soon be petitioning for the cancellation of this year's Super Bowl in Arlington, Texas. They claim that, since it is Super Bowl XLV, it is violent rhetoric and will stir the passions of killers around the country.

The Official Super Bowl 45 Mascot:

What Could Be Better Than the Packers Going to the Super Bowl?

As a Packer fan, Green Bay's participation in the Super Bowl is about as good as it can get. But this year the road is paved with gold.

The Pack not only won the National Conference Championship, they have given the fan of the Green and Gold the extra pleasure of beating the hated rival Chicago Bears in their own Windy City house to take the George (Papa Bear) Halas trophy home to Green Bay.

The Packers not only are headed to the Super Bowl, kicked the Bears' behind in Chicago en route to Dallas, but also can watch and listen as Bear fans turn around and cannibalize their own team's high priced quarterback, Jay Cutler. Priceless! Burn his jersey! Call him gutless!

I can only assume that these Bear fans have adapted a phrase from home town gal, Oprah Winfrey, and now call the Bear QB Va-Jay-Jay Cutler. I can even imagine several of them adding the letter 'n' in a strategic spot within his surname.

Gotta love those Bear fans.

(As Rex Grossman rolls his eyes and shakes his head.)

The Packers' Season of Vengeance

The scientists and researchers in our secret basement laboratory have brought together data gathered from observations, the stars, and numbers to draw some interesting conclusions.

This is the season of Packer Vengeance. Past wrongs are being righted and will continue to be so.

Just last year the Vikings with Brett Favre embarrassed the Packers twice during the regular season. This season served Packer Vengeance in this matter.

In January, 2003, the Atlanta Falcons led by quarterback Michael Vick came to Green Bay in the Wild Card playoff round. The Packers had never lost a home playoff game since the opening of Lambeau Field; the closest was the infamous 'Ice Bowl' last second victory over Dallas in 1967. Vick and the Falcons destroyed the Pack 27-7.

In the 2003-04 playoffs, the Packers played the Eagles and while leading 17-14 got burned by a 4th and 26 completion to help the Eagles win.

This season doubled the Packer Vengeance dose. The Packers went to Philadelphia and smacked the Eagles and Mike Vick out of the playoffs. The Packers then went to Atlanta to play the Falcons who were virtually unbeatable at home. The Green and Gold abused the Falcons there almost as badly as Liberal commentators abuse truth, reason, and civility.

The season of Packer Vengeance. Tomorrow the Packers travel to Chicago to play the Bears for the NFC championship and the right to go to the Super Bowl. A similar occurrence took place in 1941. On that day, a mere week after the attack on Pearl Harbor, the Bears smacked the Pack around pretty hard. Tomorrow the Packers will fulfill another round of vengeance. (Besides, I listen to a Rockford FM station while at work and have been exposed to regular play of the 1985 Bears rendition of The Super Bowl Shuffle.) The researchers' conclusions say Packers, 34, Bears, 17. This is even with the same crew of referees that called 18 penalties on the Packers in the Packer/Bear game earlier this season.

The reason for Vengeance upon the Steelers or Jets in the Super Bowl has yet to be determined.

Michael Jordan Has Lost His Mojo

Michael Jordan and Hanes are busily marketing undershirts that resist collar wrinkling or 'bacon neck.' Research done by members of our secret basement laboratory shows that this polls well with the metrosexual population and the new castrati, but real American men have shown little interest.

We have developed and are marketing an alternative undershirt.

A big seller, mostly purchased by women for their men.

Vitriol from Conservatives

I was backmasking the theme song to SpongeBob SquarePants the other day and it told me to 'read The TrogloPundit and follow his instructions.'

So I went over to The TrogloPundit and here is what I found:

I searched for instructions and here is what popped out at me:

I resisted the call, but perhaps not everyone could 'just say no' to this Conservative vitriol.

Scientists Discover Reason for Mysterious Bird Deaths

Lance spoofs on a Yahoo! news report on Sunday that more than a thousand birds mysteriously dropped dead over a mile stretch in Arkansas. Lightning, high altitude hail, or a fireworks display startling the birds to death have been named as possible suspects.

Specimens have been sent to various labs to determine the cause of death including our secret basement laboratory. As usual our scientists have come through and discovered the reason for their demise.

The dead birds were determined to be Brewer's Blackbirds (Euphagus cyanocephalus) migrating to Mexico for the winter. We have discovered that they were poor blackbirds with little education that were denied health insurance, couldn't afford the very expensive veterinary care, had diets heavily containing salt and trans-fats, and smoked cigarettes.

It is strongly recommended that the Obama Administration add universal veterinary health care to ObamaCare. No legislation is needed, HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius can just place it in the law through her administrative determination.

Problem solved.

Tournament of Roses Parade Accurately Depicts California Reality

Pasadena, California's annual Tournament of Roses parade awards trophies for various categories of engineering and artistic floats. Although often flights of fancy, these floats sometimes accurately depict life's hard realities as well.

This year's Governor's Trophy winner, "California Girls", entered by the city of Sierra Madre, was given the award for the best depiction of life in California. It's depiction of California was so realistic that it broke down in the middle of the parade and had to be bailed out by a Government Motors truck.